


A Friendly Referral

by ABeautifulBreakdown



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Sexual Situations, Ben Likes Bikes, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben's a Marine, Ben's a Recovering Addict, Dog BB-8, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Sex, F/M, Fluff, Heavy Petting, I think I'm addicted to you, Injury Recovery, M/M, Making Out, Massage, Massage Therapist Rey, Mutual Pining, Past Abuse, Protective Ben Solo, References to Addiction, Rey is Everyones Little Sister, Romantic Fluff, Shelby Mustang, Slow Burn, So much kissing, Unkar Plutt is a dickbag, dancing in the kitchen, sorta kinda maybe, write what you know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:47:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 59,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23168014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABeautifulBreakdown/pseuds/ABeautifulBreakdown
Summary: After recovering from an injury Ben is referred by a friend to Rey for treatment. His goal, get back to work and as far away from his family life as fast as he can. When things don't go as planned he finds himself stuck struggling with his options and inexplicably drawn to the girl who has helped him in more ways then he'd ever expected.
Relationships: Leia Organa/Han Solo, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 28
Kudos: 99





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stood up for the umpteenth time Rey is settling in to a quiet romantic meal on her own when a stranger shows up at her door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclosure I had a hard time wrapping my head around how to make this concept work and not drive myself nuts in the process professionally speaking. There's this whole thing about not dating clients as a massage therapist which will be part of the struggle in this story. I know you can always blur the lines for the sake of the story but I feel like with massage it just leaves a poor message so I'm going to keep that part of this as true to fact as I can. So this is Massage Therapist Rey and Ben... well he's struggling a bit, he's been put off due to an accident and is trying to get back to work. There will be drama a plenty I hope so settle in darlings and let me know what you think! Oh and I only used Snap as the current interest because Snap Wexley just sounds like that kind of guy. Cheers! xo

Looking at her cell phone for the fifth time that night Rey sighs and sets down her wooden spoon. The room around her is lit with the distant glow of a corner lamp and bright lights from her stove range. After firing off a quick text she sets the cellular device screen side down against her kitchen island and sets to work making the finishing preparations for her evening meal. Steak simmers in the pan decorated by caramelized onions and soft looking mushrooms. She impressed even herself this time and is beginning to feel incredibly stupid that she has gone to so much trouble for a guy who couldn't be bothered to simply text her back.

At her side, large brown eyes staring up at her expectantly is the only man she will ever need in her life. Bending to give her faithful companion a scratch behind the ear and loving pat on the head Rey smiles at her friend, "Oh BB, why do I keep doing this to myself?" she asks, The floppy-eared fur ball cocks his head to the side as his master says his name. BB is an oversized Bernese with a head like a brick and a bottomless pit for an appetite. He's always at her side and never misses a step when his Rey is involved.

The overgrown puppy yawns, a low keening whine erupting from his throat as he sits, shifting onto his hip to lean against the kitchen island. When Rey doesn't return for more puppy lovings he allows himself to slide to the floor, placing his head on massive paws to keep watch.

Rey has been seeing Snap for what is beginning to feel like years. They met at one of Finn's parties. He was a friend of Poe's who came highly regarded but was turning out to be just another arrogant flyboy. Poe and Snap are pilots and worked together for a few years before Poe left the private sector and started working for Falcon industries where he expanded his knowledge from flight to repair and really sank into his passion for aeronautics.

In the beginning Snap had come across as smart and sweet. He was always randomly showing up at Rey's place of work with lunch or treating her to evenings out. His love of adventure was electric and addictive. All around he was just a really fun guy to be around. That however was where the positives ended. He was notoriously running on his own clock and had the worst habit of ghosting Rey had ever seen in another human being. She couldn't even begin to count how many times they had planned this dinner date and each time Snap would text ten minutes in and tell her that he couldn't make it, ending with a 'Sorry Babe.' which was beginning to make Rey's blood boil.

Tonight, she hadn't even received that. Now forty minutes into their date, steaks simmering beautifully and risotto freshly made, Rey is left with a beautiful meal for two an no one but her faithful BB to share in the amiable silence.

She's just popped the cork on a bottle of zinfandel when her phone chimes. Glaring at the offending electronic Rey pours herself a healthy glass of the red wine and turns to lean against the counter. BB lifts his head expectantly as she brings the glass to her lips and sighs into the aromatic liquid. "You know buddy, men are just useless," she mutters before taking a mouthful, allowing the decadent thick flavor to cleanse her pallet before she responds to Snap and his many excuses.

Screw him she figures, he can wait. Through sheer force of will Rey sets to arranging her plate with creamy, parmesan garlic risotto, steamed veggies and a gloriously cooked steak. She has no one to impress tonight she figured so why not pile on the onions. Feeling rather proud of herself Rey flips the range lights off and brings her meal and wine to her small bar height kitchen table. She keeps the dining area neat, the walls a dark rich royal blue edged with intricate white crown molding around all the doors and windows. Her dining nook awards her with a beautiful view into her widespread front yard nestled into the forested mountainside. All around her are incredibly tall trees of wondrously lush greens. It's private and quiet and more importantly it's hers.

As Rey settles into her kitchen table, she tries to push Snap and his stupid face from her mind. BB shifts from his place by the island and with a pathetic sigh he collapses onto his side. His large opulent eyes watching carefully should his loving momma decide to accidentally drop something on the floor. He's a mooch but he's a well behaved one. Puppy dogs who don't hang around the table at supper are often rewarded he's come to learn. So happily, he watches from afar.

After a few moments of silently poking her steak Rey throws her chair back. She isn't as controlled as she might like to think, stalking over to where her cellphone sits. Resting her hands against the dark granite countertop Rey leans, then pushes herself away. The inner struggle is torture. She wants so desperately to give him a piece of her mind but knows it would only be a matter of time before she's suckered in by pretty words and promises. She's pathetic.

"Ugh!," she cries, drawing away from the counter with decided irritation. She's done her hair, shaved her legs, even put on those damned black underwear that Snap likes so much. What was it about him that drove her so utterly mad? Was it the dark hair or the strong nose? Maybe it was the beard? His smile? None of it makes any sense to her because at the very core of it all, no one is worth feeling this way over. She's attractive, she's smart, she has a good job and owns her own home. She's a catch dammit and if Snap Wexley doesn't see that then that's his problem not hers.

Shaking her head, ridding herself of any doubt or ill-feeling Rey disappears up the stairs and into her open bedroom stripping the form-fitting dress off in the process. She tosses the black fabric monstrosity onto her bed and makes short work pulling on a pair of calf-length yoga pants and a black wide neck sweater that falls over one shoulder loosely. Mussing her masterfully crafted hairstyle, Rey shakes her head, running her fingers through the brown mop a few times before pulling it into a messy bun atop her head. There, peaceful comfort, she thinks as she gazes at herself in the mirror. When was the last time she wore makeup?

A quick trip to her ensuite and her face is bare, her body comfortable and her stomach more than ready to devour that steak! After she tidies the kitchen some that is. She hates a messy kitchen after all. Soon the leftover food is sitting on its own plate, her cookware soaking in the sink. She straightens her spice rack, puts away the extra vegetables, and grabs her bottle of wine. This is going to be a 'me night.'

She's just settled into her table for a second time, piece of steak cut and ready to be inhaled when the sound of tires on gravel draw her focus. BB shifts so he's laying on his belly, ears perked in interest. The vehicle is louder then Snap's jeep, it's moving slower too. Snap's usually quick to pull in, careless of who or what might be around. Rey bristles. BB stands up moving to the door with surprising grace for a dog of his size and wags his tail happily. "Friend or foe?" Rey calls to BB as he paces in front of the door ready to investigate the newcomer. She's too far out for it to be a coincidence and most of her friends make sure she was home first. Poe and Finn knew that Snap was supposed to be coming over so they wouldn't just randomly show up. Rose was in the city with Jannah… Who does she know that drives a motorbike anyway?

Peering out the window panes of her front door she watches as a tall man slips off a rather impressive looking motorcycle. He's wearing a dark leather jacket, zipped up to the neck, dark blue jeans and a pair of leather motorcycle boots that came up over his ankles. As he removes his helmet he shakes out his dark hair, letting it fall haphazardly all around him. Rey can see that it's thick and falls about shoulder length, maybe shorter, she can't tell from this distance but he takes care to run his fingers through it a few times before he advances on her doorway.

BB simply stands and stares, his tail wagging as the stranger approaches. He has long lean legs that carry him quickly to her threshold taking her stairs two at a time. He's preparing to knock when he seems to realize she's standing there staring at him in the dim light of the evening autumn sun. His knuckles become a hesitant wave as he smiles, hunched some to look in at her.

"Hi," he calls awkwardly through the glass, stirring Rey from her reverie.

She pulls the door open a crack, standing so that her body blocks him from entering. BB on the other hand is much less apprehensive. His big head is wiggling between her hip and the doorframe until he manages to weasel his way out the door and is now doing circles around the stranger. "BB!" Rey calls as the tall, dark figure rises to his full height and laughs some, "I'm sorry he's a bit of a brute,"

"No problem," the stranger says happily, holding the back of his hand out for BB to sniff at. The dog starts there, sniffing at the leather, then the man's wrist before he moves on to his pants, and then the helmet he holds in his other hand. "Love dogs," he answers as BB sticks his head in the helmet and then sneezes, moving to dance back and forth on front paws.

"Can I help you?" Rey asks, her hand pressed on the edge of the door, still using her body to prevent any further intrusion. She may be small but she's mighty and she feels fairly confident she could take this man if he started anything with her. Well, probably not but she was prepared to scream really loudly if she needed and hit him with her walking stick she keeps tucked against the door frame.

"Oh uh yeah," the dark-haired man says. He holds his free hand out in pleasant greeting as he continues, "I'm Ben."

Rey stares at the offered appendages confusion etched across her delicate features, "Ok, hi Ben…" she says slowly, giving him a quick once over again. He has a long face and strong nose, with plump lips and a beauty mark to the right of his nose. His eyes are kind, a sort of whiskey color in the autumn light, lined with thick manicured brows. The hand he extends towards her is large, much larger than her own but she shakes it tentatively all the same making sure to give it a good strong squeeze "I'm Rey. Are you lost?"

Ben laughs lightly, his mouth drawn in a wide and brilliant smile. It draws at the corners of his lips up showing off heavily lined dimples and white teeth, "Yeah, no, I'm not lost. You're Rey Nima?" When Rey starts to look a little apprehensive, Ben's smile falters and he takes a step back giving her some space, "You're friends with Huxley right?"

Playing the name over in her head, Rey runs over the list of people she finds herself close with, there isn't a Huxley in the bunch. "Do you mean Armitage?" she asks cautiously, giving her leg a sharp pat to call BB back from his misadventure. The last time she let him wander too far he got into it with a porcupine and she's not keen on revisiting that ordeal any time soon. BB perks up from near Ben's bike, he was sniffing at the saddlebags inquisitively before returning on quickened paws to sit in front of Rey proudly.

Ben lets out a sharp laugh and rubs at the back of his head, "Yeah I forgot people called him that," He gives a few more passes of his broad hand through his hair, pulling it back in a sweeping arc off his face. "Yeah, Armitage Hux, he was supposed to send you a text a while ago, did he not?"

A text? The text she had chosen to ignore because she assumed it was from Snap must have been in fact from Hux. Rey finds herself relaxing some, allowing the door to open a bit more. "Give me a second?" She says before disappearing back into her home to retrieve her phone. Sure enough, she has three text messages from Hux.

\- Hey, sending a friend your way, he's in need of your magic hands-

Rey groans, great she thinks.

-Sorry, should have sent that earlier he's on his way-  
-Shit, he's a big fella on a bike, I didn't even think, you're out there all by yourself. He's an old friend of mine. Be. Nice.-

Who is he to tell her to be nice? she's always nice.

There's nothing from Snap she noticed with a bitter grimace as she returns to the door, phone in hand to an apprehensive looking Ben.

"Well there it is I guess," she calls lightly, "come on in, Hux sent you because?" pulling back into the house she opens the door wide so that Ben and BB can make their way inside. BB is content to settle on his bed at the base of the stairs that wind up to Rey's loft-style bedroom while Ben enters cautiously. Rey closes the door quickly and makes short work setting her phone back down on the island countertop. She leans against the dark surface folding her arms against her chest, her legs crossed at the ankles.

"Uh," Ben starts, "Whiplash injury from a while back, I can't seem to get rid of these headaches and my neck has been killing me as of late. Huxley, sorry Hux, said you were one of the best massage therapists he knew. He figured you could probably help out.

Taking a slow deep breath Rey lets the situation wash over her, of course Hux would send someone directly to her home instead of getting them to come in and see her at work like a normal person. Armitage never could quite grasp the concept of personal space well. Not unless it's his own, "So he sent you here?" she questions sharply, she doesn't take new clients in her home, it isn't a concept she's entirely comfortable with especially living so far outside of town. All of her friends know this, she thought it was obvious but of course Hux is Hux.

Ben seems to pick up on her irritation as he sets his helmet down on the floor at his feet. He's unzipping his jacket pocket to pull out what Rey realizes is one of her business cards offering it to her in way of explanation. "I tried booking in with you at work but you're hard to get in to and there's a bit of a time sensitivity thing. Hux didn't seem to think it would be too big an inconvenience, said you treat people from home all the time."

A loud harsh laugh erupts from Rey as she pushes herself away from the counter and moves towards her kitchen table where her wine glass is waiting. This is shaping up to be one hell of an evening. Mentally she makes a mental note to thank Hux later on for his kindness. "I have, I will, but…"

Nodding, Ben smiles softly, "That's Huxley for you." as his eyes follow her, they fall on the elaborate meal set at her table and the glass of wine in her hand, "Oh, were you expecting company? I'll leave I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to intrude, I thought you knew I was on my way."

Rey groans, Hux is many things but he has impeccable taste in friends. He seems to curate good people the way some people do fine art or old records. His penchant for being an annoying prat notwithstanding, he's someone you can trust and surrounds himself with people who can in kind be trusted. Ben, she decides as a result is someone she doesn't have to be nervous around. So as he moves to reach for the door Rey finds herself speaking before she can really think about what it was she's doing, "No, you're ok," she says easily enough and before she can stop herself she's telling this complete stranger about how she's been stood up and was just about to sit down to enjoy a meal by herself. "There's extra," she hedges, "If you're hungry. You'll have to wait a little bit if you want a massage anyway, I have to get the room set up and a fire started. "

Giving Ben another quick glance Rey adds with a hasty smile, "It would actually be nice to not have to eat alone," her grin widens, broad and sweet and full of impossibly white teeth, "Annnnnd" she adds in a soft sing-song, "There is something I could really use your help with."


	2. Chapter 2

Ben stood watching Rey curiously, There is a sweet disposition about her but she's just a little bit reactionary. Hux had told him to be careful with her and Ben hadn't been entirely sure what he had meant by that. She seems kind and bright and full of life if not for the irritation that bubbles off her as she surveys him with cautious intent.

When she mentions needing his help he waits a moment, letting her continue in her pleasant way before he decides to commit himself to anything.

"It's no huge task really, I just need some help pulling wood in from outside." She tells him pleasantly, he can tell she's sizing him up. He's tall and awkward and good for things like carrying heavy objects or getting things off the top shelf. "I'm running low. It takes me ages to do it myself, Finn was supposed to help last time he and Poe stopped by but, well that didn't happen," she rattles on her voice lilting with a soft sweet of accent.

He finds himself chuckling as she rambles then gives her a slow kind nod, "Yeah, no issue at all," he says quietly as Rey claps her hands together happily and gestures for him to follow her.

"Leave your boots on," she instructs, "Just come this way," she's shuffling towards the other side of the room, slipping her feet into a worn pair of clogs before she disappears through a doorway located beneath a set of stairs.

With a flick of a switch the room beyond the frame is bathed in a soft amber haze. It runs the length of the house with large picture windows accenting the back wall affording him a beautiful view of her wooded back yard and the forest beyond. The windows themselves are set deep in the wall framed in beautifully polished live edged wood. The thick ledge work is sanded down and left to its captivating maple color with enough room that someone can use it as a seat. It's rustic compared to what he's seen of the rest of the home. A wood stove separates the room into two halves. On one side a comfortable seating area with a plush deep brown couch and old wicker Papasan chair. Bookshelves line the walls made from the same live edged wood that frames the windows. They're littered with more books than anyone human might have the right to own. There are pictures and knickknacks all over the place, smiling faces in dark frames all grinning outwardly at him as he follows her through. The wood stove is a large iron structure set into the wall to look like a fireplace. The framework lining it and the mantle set above are all done in aged, worn and polished old barn boards. The floor it sits on is black granite speckled with flecks of grey which reach out into the hardwood floor laid in patterns of rich dark mahogany and pine.

Passed the wood stove, the other side of the room is set up more like a treatment space. Her massage table is neatly done with crisp linens and draped in a dark purple blanket that looks incredibly soft to the touch. All along the short wall next to the outer door are small wooden shelves placed at varying heights, each holding its own unlit candle. Next to the table she has a large blue exercise ball and a shelf which she appears to keep her lotion and other tools on. In the middle there are two hardwood pillars wound in twinkling lights, supports he assumes. Necessary and yet made to look incredibly pleasing to the eye.

For someone who professed to not treat from home often she certainly has a lovely set up. The wall parallel to the windows have artistically done pictures of muscle groups decorated in various flowers and leaves. There are small shelves made from wooden crates that hold towels and a large wooden sign that looks to be hand-painted. On it are the words 'Inhale and Exhale' done in sweeping calligraphy separated by a flower he recognizes the be a lotus. She takes pride in her space he notes, everything is chaotic but clean. There seem to be bits and pieces from different places that don't fit but fit perfectly all over the place. An intricately carved elephant whose side is done in looping paisley swirls made of what looks like marble. A very basic wooden carving of a cat sitting next to a painted ball covered in bright reds and yellows outlined in black that looked like it may have come from Jakku or maybe even Tattooine. There are scarves and shawls of various colors and textures hanging in some of the windows like curtains. The sheer of some of the material glittering in the evening sun. A stuffed sheep with a shamrock on its backside, a metal tower-like structure sitting in a snow globe. There are little pieces all over the room each of them screaming with character or a story to be told.

As Rey urges him towards the back door he notices on the other side of her massage table, beside the doorframe a rather large statue of buddha. This piece in particular draws his eye as he approaches. It's quite tall and a worn dark blue in color accented in brilliant golds along its every line and fold. In its hand, it holds a bowl that is filled with water. Rey has found some lotus candles, one floating on the surface quietly. Ben lets his hand caress the statues bumpy head, the surface of which is also gilded in worn golds, "My uncle has one like that," Ben says absently as he walks passed, smiling fondly.

Rey who has gone through the back door and is out on the step when he spoke turns to catch what he's talking about, "My yoga teacher gave that to me," she tells him with a bright smile, "It was a house warming gift," And with that she ducks back outside, the cool mountain air whispering past her as BB barrels by Ben's knees to join his master.

Ben can't help but marvel at the grandeur around him as he ducks out her back door pulling it closed behind him. The view through the windows is nothing compared with the unmarred scape before him. She doesn't have a large backyard per-say, the flat area to the immediate right of the door is decorated in slate flagstone evenly spaced apart. She has a hot tub that is built upon what looks like old pallets. He realizes as he gets closer the structure is in-fact heavy concrete but she has used the palette boards to line the structure giving it a more rustic look. The slate flagstone winds out from the hot tub to a large round burning pit that's surrounded but a motley crew of Adirondack chairs that are painted in a variety of bright and brilliant colors. Beyond the fire pit the ground slopes down disappearing into a tree line of beautiful large firs casting the horizon in green topped giants.

The air smells crisp and fresh settling something wild within his heart he hadn't known needed to be settled. When he turns to look Rey has disappeared to the side of the house. He only knows because he can see BB milling about carrying a large stick in his gaping maw. When Rey pokes her head around the corner Ben takes the cue and meets her with hurried steps. She has already loaded herself up with a rather large bundle and is indicating he should do the same.

She's no slouch that's for sure. Ben has never seen a woman so involved and so take charge in all of his life aside from maybe his mother. Most of the women he meets or has gone out with are more interested in what they can get out of the situation or impressing him with their hard work at the gym then showing any real gumption. Rey doesn't seem like she has any interest in showing off at all. Unless she's using her ability to carry several pieces of firewood into the house on her own to do so. Shaken from his thoughts as BB sauntered past hitting him in the back of the knees with his stick Ben takes his jacket off and sets to the task of helping her lug wood in.

It feels good to be doing something productive, yet menial. He doesn't have to think but he can feel as his muscles pull and worked carrying some of the larger chunks of wood. After a few loads, Rey disappears inside and begins to start a fire. Ben, hoping to be helpful makes a few more runs before he and BB decide to head back inside. By the time Ben has shaken off any bark and arranged the wood in a sturdy pile Rey has a crackling fire going and was marveling at her handy word, "Thanks so much," she says happily as she raises her hand awkwardly in the air.

Ben just sort of stares at it a moment confused as to what she was doing. Her hand hovering she waves it just slightly and raises a brow looking from him to the lone appendage. "Oh, uh, yeah," he replies as he claps his broad palm against hers finally realizing what it's she's asking of him.

Rey simply laughs, "Do you get to socialize much?" she asks him playfully, patting him on the bicep before she turns to head back into the more modern part of the house. "I mean, I know Hux is about as dull as dirt…" she's saying as she kicks off her shoes and rejoins her glass of wine, taking a quick yet delighted sip.

"Not much," he admits as he followed, BB at his heels as he rewards the faithful pup with a good scratch on the head. "You don't give Hux enough credit though," he adds as he drapes his leather jacket over one of her kitchen chairs and sets to the task of taking off his motorcycle boots, "He's not so much dull as he is an acquired taste,"

At this Rey laughs heartily, "That's him alright, thank god he can roll with the punches. What do you want to drink?" she segues to the topic of dinner as she plucks up the plates of food and makes her way to the island.

Shifting to help, Ben finds he was more in the way. Of course he doesn't know where anything is so why did he think he would be of any use in her kitchen? "Water is great," he says as he steps back watching as she bends and places a plate in the microwave located in the back of the island.

Rey moves with fluid ease, winding her way around like a cat. While opening the upper cupboard, white framed with panels of glass, she nods over her shoulder to the drawer closest to Ben, "Forks and knives are in there," She indicates before she's up on her tiptoes reaching for a glass on one of the higher shelves, "You sure? I have wine, no Beer sorry."

He can't help but admire the way her calf muscles flexes as her yoga pants ride up just a little. She's lean and limber and he finds himself suddenly very grateful that her sweater is long enough to cover her backside. "Oh, I'm not much of a drinker," Ben finds himself admitting, "Water would be great," He isn't entirely sure how much he should let himself relax around this woman. She's cute and he was afraid he might scare her off. Unsure when that thought manifested itself he pulls open the drawer indicated and finds himself some cutlery. Rey returns to his side as the microwave beeps with a large glass of water in hand.

She's put it in a wine glass he noticed, "Little less like I'm drinking alone," she chirps ruefully, "You don't mind if I have a glass do you?"

Taken a little aback by her polite consideration Ben responds with, "Oh no, by all means," as he watches her extract the warmed plate of food handing it to him with a grin.

"Hope you like medium rare, I find anything more cooked is too chewy," Now that she seems more relaxed her dialogue comes in rapid spurts. He finds he likes the way she carries herself with an easy grace as they fall into a smooth rhythm.

When both meals were heated and they find themselves back at her kitchen table and settled in Ben finds himself utterly overwhelmed. Rey is saying something to BB as she points to the dog's bed. To his surprise the creature trots over and sits himself down just as told. He's a marvelous looking thing with a large head white snout and copper-colored eyebrows. He's clearly well cared for as his coat glistens looking smooth and well brushed. He's a little larger than some of the Bernese mountain dogs he's come across but it seems to suit his rather animated personality.

"What about BB?" he asks as the aforementioned puppy dog lifts his head.

Rey casts Ben a knowing look, "Don't get suckered in by those big brown eyes, BB ate." And she begins cutting into her meat with delighted vigor.

They settle into a comfortable silence, Ben in awe of the meal set before him. He can't remember the last time a woman had prepared something like this. Not that Rey's intentionally done so but he's quite happy to pick up from Snap's unfortunate disappearing act. The steak is exquisite, deliciously browned but pink in the center in a way that makes it melt in his mouth. When his jaw pops a little as he chews Rey stops what she's doing and takes a good long drink of her wine. She seems to still have food in her mouth as she chews it, swallows and then wipes at her mouth with a napkin, "How long has that been going on for?" she asks around her final gulp.

Unsure what exactly it is she means Ben licks at his lips, quirking an eyebrow. "The jaw thing," she continues nodding towards him as she takes a scoop of risotto onto her fork, "You said you get headaches and your jaw cracks. The two are usually linked." She speaks of the issue as if she's telling him about a cat video on the internet. Her words are easy, relaxed and not what he had been expecting at all.

Ben thinks a moment as he finished his mouth full, "Oh, uh," he really needs to stop starting his sentences like that, "That's been an issue long before I guess,"

"Braces?" she asks, carrying on as if this is the most normal conversation in the world. Maybe for her, it is.

Shaking his head Ben skewers a piece of broccoli scooping a little of his risotto onto his fork in the process, "No…" he says slowly, "broke my jaw."

Nodding Rey presses, "How long ago?"

She doesn't seem to pick up on how uncomfortable this conversation is making him, or if she does she doesn't seem to care much. She's on the hunt for information and nothing is going to stop her now that she has started. "Well, the first time I think I was twelve," he says slowly, popping the fork full of food into his mouth to avoid answering anymore right away.

This answer seems to stump her a little as she replies slowly, "First… time? As in more than once."

Ben nods, "Three times total," he's trying to seem very interested in the risotto, focusing on the creamy riced dish with delighted intent, "This is good did you make it yourself?"

Rey nods, "Yeah, from scratch," she says before barrelling passed the topic of risotto and right back to the jaw, "You know it's not an easy bone to break…" she hedges.

With a sigh he realizes he wasn't going to get out of this. She's going to press an push until she has all the information she's looking for. She seems to think it's pertinent to his current issues, "First wasn't huge, I crashed my dad's motorcycle,"

Her eyebrows shoot up, "At twelve…" not so much a question as confirmation of the fact.

Nodding again Ben continues, "It was only minor, I wasn't wearing a helmet. I was lucky. Second time it was a fight in high school. Again minor, no surgery or anything just pills and an ass-kicking from my dad," When Rey looks like she's going to say something about the ass whopping Ben adds, "Other guys were way worse off than me."

Taking a break from her meal Reys cradles her wine in her hand as she crosses her arms against her chest and sits back in her chair taking him in. She looks like she's afraid to ask but pushes herself anyway, "Third-time minor too?" she inquires hopefully

Ben grimaces this time and shakes his head woefully, "No, I needed surgery for that one."

"How old were you?"

It takes a minute to count back the years and figure out how old he was now but Ben finally says, "I don't know, early twenties or so."

Rey looks as though she wants to ask more but decides to leave it alone for which Ben is incredibly grateful. Instead she swirled her wine around in her glass idly, observing him with curiously lit brown eyes. "You said this was time-sensitive," she crosses her legs and takes a sip of her wine as she waits for him to answer.

Although she hasn't asked directly, he knows what she was getting at. It's becoming painstakingly obvious that this woman is far from foolish. She has honed in on him and is watching his every move with carefully decisive attention. "Yeah…" he exhales and poked at his steak a few times, "I was in an accident," he begins.

"Another one," she confirms.

"Another one," he says with one slow confirmatory nod, "this one was work-related, sort of."

Setting her glass down Rey shifts forward in her chair to rest her elbow against the table, "You should be going through the WCB then."

Ben chuckles, more to himself than anything else, "No, workers comp doesn't apply." As Rey cocks her head to the side in inquiry Ben takes a breath and says, "I'm a Marine, Naval aviation to be exact."

"Ahhhh," Despite her recognition of the fact, Rey stumbles on the information. She seems to disappear within her thoughts as she jumps from one thing to another in search of the right thing to say. When she can't find the words for anything more then a dumbfounded 'ok' Ben takes it as his sign to continue.

"It was a crash," he tells her solemnly, placing his fork down on his plate in order to give this conversation the attention and respect it deserves, "Helicopter,"

"Helicopter," she repeats nodding blindly.

"We weren't deployed, it was a routine thing I was the training officer and my cadet spooked. I don't know how it happened I don't usually fly the damn things, I'm a jet pilot but I've got enough experience with most things that fly. Anyway we went down and were both injured pretty badly." Rey's eyes are wide as he continues, "Broken leg I've got some hardware in there now. My pelvis needed some work. My wrist," he counts off his injuries like he's reading her a shopping list, oh you know, oranges, bread, milk, no big deal. "Elbow wasn't great either actually. I had severe whiplash and a few of my vertebrae were broken but nothing major. All in all I was lucky."

"Mmmm," she agrees, "How long ago?"

Again, timelines mess Ben up, he has to count back on his fingers, "Maybe eleven months ago now?" he offers with a sideways quirk to his lips, "I was doing good until the headaches started. They told me to take a leave, I had vacation saved up, quite a lot actually and we would revisit when I was due to come back."

"And when is that?" she inquires softly, taking another deliberately long drink of her wine.

"Month or so" before she can react Ben shifts forwards, gesturing idly with his hands, "I know you can't work miracles but I'd like to see if this can help at all. They're talking honorable discharge and I don't know what I'd do if they did that." he can't help but note the pathetic tone his voice adopts as he admits that to her.

She's the picture of calm understanding as she watches him carefully now. Her deep brown eyes are soft, edged with something he might almost have mistaken for affection. Pursing her lips together she nods her head slowly before worrying at the bottom one carefully. "Ok," she finally says, starting back in on her steak as if nothing ever happened.

Ben takes a moment to process her easy demeanor before he too goes back to finishing his meal, every once and a while casting a glance in her direction. She's the picture of cool resolve, her eyes watching something far off. Deep in thought now as she masticates her steak, savoring its rich flavor.

When they're both done Rey scoops up their plates and carries them over to the sink. BB takes this opportunity to join her and is rewarded for his good behavior with the offering of a plate to lick off. Ben watches as the large dog laps at the surface and Rey speaks to him in hushed sweet tones, praising him for being such a good dog, a handsome dog. She finishes with a pat to the head depositing the dishes into the sink before she turns to head back towards her sunporch sanctuary. "Bathroom's just over that way," she pointed towards the direction of the house he hasn't been exposed to yet. "There's a hallway on the other side of the living room, bathrooms at the end. Likely the only door open, I keep the other rooms shut to keep the walking fur ball out," she tells him and then disappears into the sunroom without another thought.

After making use of the facilities Ben takes the opportunity to start cleaning the dishes. Rey after all had been kind enough to offer a meal, it's the least he can do to help out. His height always makes standing at a sink awkward. Yet another thing in life he simply wasn't built for but he made good use of his time. Grateful her dish soap has been left out on the counter he scrubs their plates thoroughly and then sets to the cookware. He's just finishing up when Rey pokes her head back in the room, "Sorry, had to get the fire going again," she says pleasantly and then stops, "Oh Ben you didn't need to do that," she tells him as she approaches. He has his long sleeves pulled up to his elbows and his forearms are damp from the running water.

When she puts her hand on his upper arm and smiles at him Ben finds his heart gives a slight flutter. She's smiling the way old friends do when they talk of their past. Fond and sweet and so utterly open. "Come on." she says with a tug, "let's see if we can get you feeling a bit better shall we?"

And suddenly, Ben is more nervous than the first time he'd stolen his father's Ducati.


	3. Chapter 3

As Rey leads Ben towards her treatment space she stills, shifting so that she can follow along behind him. She tells herself it's an opportunity to observe his gait and posture, nothing more. He carries himself with roguish ease but as he manages to get a few paces ahead Rey notices the way his right leg hitches ever so slightly. His injury, a sever one by his telling dragging her deep into her thoughts as she plays the mechanics of it over and over in her mind. Lost in her thoughts of metal plates and busted limbs, she allows her eyes to follow along the back of his knees up and along his fine strong legs. He's a marvel if she was being honest with herself, the way his jeans clung to his form, the roundness of his backside. He simply looks too good not to stare.

Be professional. She mentally admonishes herself as she carefully inspects the cut of his shoulders. She tries to focus on the way one sits higher than the other but her eyes keep dipping to his hips and the way he carries himself.

His presence is utterly distracting, "So, how do you know Hux again?" she asks distantly, cocking her head to the side as he turns to face her. His look is one of questioning humor as his dark eyes rove over her in an appreciative reciprocation. Dear god he thinks she's checking him out. The mere idea of it brings a soft flush to her cheeks.

There's an awkwardness to the way he smiles at her that she can't help but find adorable. It's a mix of that and the way he seems to drag his large hand through his hair for the umpteenth time, "Uh, community service when we were younger," he says with a wry grin.

Rey tries desperately to school her features into neutrality but by the look on Ben's face she hasn't done a very good job. He seems to expect her response though and she finds herself unsure of whether it's more shocking that Hux has had community service or that Ben is so forthcoming with his life story. Not simply his life story, but some major pitfalls most might be afraid to admit. It makes her curious about him in a way that unsettles her greatly. "Hux, really?" she asked by way of distraction, trying not to focus on the way Ben's eyes fixate on hers.

He chuckles softly, his eyes softening some, "He'd kill me if he knew I told you."

"Oh, but am I ever glad you did," she chortles, "What did he do? Jaywalk?"

Looking a bit uncomfortable Ben shifts, his head turning to look out the large windows that line her sunroom wall. His profile is strong and sharp, all dark angles and curves that Rey can't help but mentally trace the line of. "I feel like that's more his story to tell," Ben speaks thoughtfully as he casts her a rueful smile.

With an exaggerated grin of exasperation Rey rolls her eyes playfully at him, "Allllright," she chimes as she finds herself standing directly in front of him. "Stand tall," she instructs, her switch from playful flirtation of professionalism a quick one.

Ben does as he's told and Rey makes quick work running her hands across his shoulders and around their curve to his chest. She pulls back his hair focusing intently around his ears, struggling some against the height and angle of their position. He's tall, delightfully so she thinks, marveling at how he can hold himself so utterly still. She's been so set on her observation she barely notices as Ben begins to chuckle, "Are my ears really important in this?" he asks, seeming almost uncomfortable with having his hair pulled back and his ears exposed.

"They… are…" Rey responds slowly as she checks for asymmetry in his jawline and ears again. Her fingers are nimble but light as they drag across the angle of his jaw dipping behind it swiftly. She has to get quite close as she presses and prods, finally pulling back with a triumphant grin. He smells good, like faintly spiced earth and soap, hints of sandalwood and bergamot waft around him, it's delightful yet incredibly distracting. "You've done this before?" she finds herself questioning, her voice falling into business mode to hide her current state of flushed excitement.

Nodding he looks towards the table, she's folded the sheets back and there is a clean headrest cover now sitting on the horseshoe-shaped pillow. "Clothes off, face down?" he asks gesturing with his hands.

Rey chuckles, "More or less, just let me know if you get uncomfortable or my pressure is too much," she tells him confidently, "I'm going to go and wash my hands. BB sometimes likes to make his presence known so if he starts bugging you then just tell him to go lay down."

And with that she turns and walks out. As expected she cab hear BB's paws against the hardwood as he makes his way into the room. There's a shuffle, the snap of static and the sound of someone moving around. Rey has to remind herself she has a task to set to instead of standing there listening. She has to get her head on straight, this is no different than treating someone at work. If Ben came in and was being treated there she wouldn't be thinking about the lean line of muscle across his back, how wonderfully large his arms were or how good he smelled. She also wouldn't have had a large helping of wine beforehand either. That's it, blame the wine. It's all the wine and stupid Snap's fault. She was in date brain, she needs to be in work brain. She needs to be professional.

Washing her hands quickly in the kitchen sink Rey schools her emotions and moves to check her phone before she returning to Ben. It's more of a reflex, she isn't expecting anything, but there on the screen is his name. Snap has finally gotten back to her, over an hour and a half after the fact.

-Sorry Babe. Got tied up with something, I could still come over if you'd like? I miss that sweet face of yours-

Rey groans, there it is, there he is. No concern for anyone else, no apology, just an assumption. The text was sent fifteen minutes ago, odd she didn't hear her phone go off. She wants to throw the damn thing out the window, she wants to scream, she wants him to come over… Quickly she opens the screen and fires back a quick message telling him not to bother, she has company and isn't sure how late they will be.

A dark part of her revels in the idea that this might make him jealous. She struggles against sending a follow-up text explaining the circumstances of said visitor but settles on the vague turning her ringer off and stuffing her phone into the waistband of her yoga pants. Sauntering back into the sunroom with a renewed pep in her step she forgets to knock or wait or listen to see if Ben might need more time. She's riding on the high of her self assured triumph over Snap and his arrogance when she looks up stopping short mid-step.

The room is cast in a warm amber glow. She had turned off the lights and instead lit the candles on the shelves against the far wall. The fake flames of the electronic candles flicker and dance like tiny fireflies against their opaque resin shells lighting Ben's body in ethereal warmth. He's looking out the window as the sun casts itself down over the trees, the vestiges of its brilliant rays reaching up over their pointed tops. The sky is awash in deep pinks and purples as the last of the daylight fades into the deepening blue of night. He's removed his clothing down to a form-fitting pair of dark boxer briefs which Rey finds herself increasingly grateful for. He hasn't noticed her or doesn't seem to as he watches the sky beyond.

Unsure of what to do Rey takes a few soft steps back, awarding him his rightful privacy as he crawls between the sheets and gets himself organized. It shouldn't be a big deal and it isn't really, he's not the first, nor would he be the last person she had accidentally walked in on. There is something about it though, the way he watched the sky, maybe how peaceful he seemed that made the moment more intimate than simply walking in on someone half-dressed at work.

Clearing her throat she stills in the door frame listening as her table creaked under his shifting weight, groaning in protest he adjusts and settles into position, "All set?" she calls, her voice catching some as she waits for his response.

"Yeah," he calls through a chuckle piquing her interest as she enters the room for the second time. Sure enough there's BB on his back laying on the floor looking up at Ben through the hole of the headrest. The massive dog is on his side his paw raised in the air, wagging his tail as Ben drapes his arm over the table to scratch at his belly. BB is a friendly dog sure, but she has never seen him open up or act like such a booger with someone he doesn't know before.

"BB…" she calls and both he and Ben lift their heads in her direction. The furry mass thumps his tail against the floor a few times as Rey approaches. The strain in Ben's neck makes her place a hand against the back of his head and push it back down into the horseshoe pillow. "Come on BB, go lay down," the dog groans in a wide yawn as he lazily drew himself up and maneuvers onto the couch. He gives one last look in their direction before he huffs and rests his head on his paws which he leaves dangling off the edge.

"He's something else," Ben mutters into the pillow as he adjusts his face and then stills.

Rey, after pulling the pillow up under his legs for better support runs her hand up and along his spin covered in the thick purple blanket. It's impressive how Ben has managed to slide into the sheets and cover himself back up without so much as ruffling the blankets. Most people are forever adjusting or pulling them to one side more than the other. "Yeah, he's quite the beast," she answers absently as she sets to folding the sheets back and finding her lotion bottle.

His hair isn't long but it sits in a loose wave at the base of his neck creating a need to push it out of the way. Her touch is tentative at first as she stands at the head of the table and walks her hands down along either side of his spine. His skin is soft beneath her touch marred in a few places where the flesh pulls together or pocks slightly with scar tissue. He's tense, his muscles hard and resistant as she allows her hands to sink in a little and then drag down towards his toes engaging the tissue so that it blanches and then pinks beneath the stretch. She can feel where some things wind together and stick and where others pull, taut and ropy beneath the skin.

It's like running your hands down velvety marble as she slides her touch down the length of his spin until it hitches at the angle of his pelvis. Walking her hands back up and along the expanse of flesh she keeps one hand on his back while the other seeks out her lotion. She gathers it in her hand before returning it to his skin. Rubbing her hands together she allows them to slide down over his back in a slow and steady rhythm as she tests which side she's going to go after first.

Ben is quiet, his breathing easy as his chest expands, ribs rising to meet her touch. As she slides her forearm over his shoulder and down into the muscles of his back she leans in close, rocking up onto her elbow and allowing it to sink into the resistant flesh. She holds herself there for a breath or two letting the muscle beneath melt under her insistence. It's stubborn at first, like granite beneath the flesh. Still Ben keeps his breathing smooth and steady. He doesn't seem to be bothered by the invasion of her pointy elbow as she rocks off of it and flushes out the areas a few times with her hands piled one on top of the other for support. Her fingers dip against his spine dragging a deliciously deep line against the column of bone working to pull and separate the muscle stuck there. Wiggling her way down and then back up she pivots onto her elbow again and repeats the process of coaxing his hard trapezius muscle to let go.

For quite some time she works this way, slowly pivoting onto her elbow to sink into the unyielding muscles. After a while Ben lets out a low toned groan and Rey finds herself chuckling quietly, "You doing ok down there?" she asks with another sweep of her forearm, dragging it in down the long line of his torso.

Ben lets out a huff of air, his breathing adjusting just slightly beneath her touch. He's tough she'll give him that but all in all he gives her no indication she should stop. "Yeah, it's just," He stops a moment and Rey can feel the need to back off some mounting, "That's vicious," Ben answers, "I could feel it up in my neck,"

Continuing to flush with her palmer contact Rey coaxes and caresses the offending area kneading this time with her fingertips rather than her elbows, "Yeah, It's pretty stuck, I don't want to flare anything up. You'll need more than one treatment that's for sure."

Ben Hmmm's in response as she changed angles and starts kneading into the area with her pointy little thumbs. Falling back into their comforting silence Rey moves smooth and harsh against the tensions only stopping when she's pleased with the amount of release she's accomplished.

His pale flesh is red by the time she's done. "I'm going to use some mint oil on this ok? No allergies?" she asks, eyes searching for the bottle

With a sharp inhale Ben lets out the air from his chest with a glorious groan, "How does that much strength come from someone so tiny?" he says gruffly into the pillow. His voice is thick with massage-brain as he clears his throat and added, "No allergies, not to mint anyway."

Without a word Rey gropes from the bottle slathering her hands in the potent liquid. The scent of mint ripples into the air, harsh on the nose making her eyes water some, "It'll go kind of warm then cold, like an A535 only so much better," she assures him as she begins kneading the oil into his back with quick and easy hands. She pays particular attention to the brilliantly red area where his neck meets his shoulder, the flesh there radiating with the heat of a deep muscle release.

"I think I'm going to feel this tomorrow," he tells her with a tone satisfaction, "Like a good run."

Rey's starting to tent the sheets, positioning herself at the side of the table only half listening, "Turn over, shimmy down. Head on the flat part," she instructs. Ben follows sloppily, it's the first movement she's seen him orchestrate with a lack of confident ease. His large form rocks the table, eyes blinking at the change in light as he stares off at the ceiling in wonder.

"How long have you been doing this anyway?" He asks as she adjusted the sheets and starts toeing around under the table. When her foot hit its mark the table grunts and starts to shift, raising itself slowly.

She's rolling her exercise ball over, finding it a spot under her bottom when she says, "That's a good question," She doesn't like thinking about herself much, it's uncomfortable and strange. She often feels like she was bragging when she has no real right to. "Five years now?

As she shifts some on the ball her phone takes to vibrating and becomes forced out of her waistband. As it clatters to the floor she can see Snap's name and a foolish selfie of the two of them light up the screen. The offending electronic jitters some obnoxiously causing Ben to tilt his head trying to look up at her. "Do you need to get that?" he asks absently, settling his arms on top of the sheets as he relaxes into the table.

Rey groaned as she leaned forward and hits ignore with her knuckle. Careful not to get her lotion-y hands all over her phone. She kicks at it unceremoniously pushing it out of the way mentally cursing Snap and his foolishness. She did however allow herself a modicum of pride for the fact that she was the one leaving him high and dry for once.

When Rey doesn't answer Ben presses, "Was it that Snap guy?"

Choosing to ignore the question at hand Rey pushes forward, "So, how frequent are the headaches?" she asks sharply. Ben seems to pick up on her intent and exhales through pursed lips.

"Depends, daily? Some days aren't as bad as others," he tells her as she begins pulling his hair away from his neck. Her hands are warm and delightfully soft as her fingers begin stroking the contours of his neck.

Trying not to let frustration bubble over, Rey focuses on her work. From her position at the head of the table she can't help but look down the angle of Ben's face. His eyes are closed now, his lashes beautifully dark and long. So unfair that they're wasted on a man who won't appreciate them. She follows the angle of his nose, the slope of his cheeks, the muscle tone of his pecs and the strength in his biceps and delts. She finds herself wondering if he knows he's a work of art. His is the type of body she normally loved to get her hands on. Not because it was beautiful necessarily, but because it was well maintained. Like a mechanic appreciating a fine car, she appraises his muscle definition as her hand's sweep in languid lines along the taut muscles of his neck.

Scooping his head into her palm she rocks it to the side running her thumb down the long column of muscle exposed to her. She works in smooth and steady strokes. Pausing here or there to hold onto something particularly tight the way she had with her elbow. Ben is quiet beneath her hands but wonderfully pliant. He allows her to move his head this way and that as she pushes and strips at the muscle with her thumb only to reward it with an easy flush of her palm afterward. When she's done with the muscles of his anterior neck she works along the muscles disappearing into his hair. Particularly the ones hidden at the base of his skull. Kneading and pushing she holds onto bumps and coaxed out lumps before rocking his head back onto her hands and allowing her fingertips to sink into the deliciously abused muscles. His head wobbles as it finds balance against her thumbs and she uses the weight of it to get one final release.

Ben says nothing, his breathing easy and smooth as she hooks her palm against the base of his skull and starts to pull. She's concise and thorough, just as he had been told she would be. Her deft fingers were like divine little steam rollers running through his flesh until he feels sated and deliciously sore. He loves the way she handles his head, she can tell by the soft exhalation of air released as he relaxes into her small hands. She moves it around as though it weighed nothing at all. Stretching his neck to one side and then holding the position she rocks it to the other, holding the stretch with the most exquisite pull. He's a big guy and they often find it hard to find someone willing to get into the muscles they way they really like. She figures he was an active youth and that compounded on top of his military training have garnered him with a solid physique but she can make him feel like tenderized meat.

"Dear God," he chimes as she slides off the ball and stands with a stretch. Her small form is dwarfed by the sweater she wears rolled up at the elbows but as she leans back the fabric lifts exposing a delightfully tanned stomach. Even in mid-fall her skin still holds a wondrously warm glow. "That was…"

"I know," Rey quips lightly. Their banter coming across as oddly erotic, causes Rey's cheeks to flush with a renewed embarrassment. She can't believe she's allowing herself to react this way over someone who is essentially a client. Was he though? He'd been sent here by Hux who was a friend after all and she treated her friends at home often enough. That never stopped her from going out with them.  
No, This was different. It has to be. She isn't allowed to feel so bothered by a body on her table. Not even one as deliciously sculpted as Ben's.

"Holy shit," Ben groans, he's sitting up as she turns to face him, the sheets falling around his middle affording her a view of his well-defined chest and abdominals. He's moving his arms around with renewed vigor as he hunchs forward, his eyes hooded and dazed in the afterglow of massage bliss.

"Yeah… I'm going to go and start up the hot tub," she tells him quickly, what was she doing? "You're welcome to have a soak if you want." She needs to learn to keep her mouth shut but the invitation is already out there.

Ben quirks a brow, he seems lost between wanting to accept and not knowing what exactly to say. Of course he likely isn't prepared for that, it's not like Hux would have told him to bring a pair of swim shorts. He can just get in in his underwear, she mulls over idly, wondering if he's coming to the same conclusion.

No, Bad Rey.

"I mean, I have so many random pairs of swim shorts up here, Poe and Finn leave theirs here all the time." she laughs at the thought, those two are much smaller then Ben. The length would look ludicrous on him, "Hux has a pair here too I think, they'd probably fit you I'm sure. I mean, you don't have to, if you have someplace to be." she rambled on bending to pick up her phone.

Eleven text messages and two missed calls. Great.

Suddenly Rey is very hopeful Ben will accept. She's even contemplating having another glass of wine. Professionalism be damned there was nothing wrong with a little flirtatious banter.


	4. Chapter 4

My poor husband, all I've been doing lately is writing! It's a deep dark hole and I never want to crawl out of it haha. More of Rey and Ben, I am looking forward to getting some other characters involved though. Enjoy lovelies! xo

After pulling the cover off the hot tub and getting it started up, Rey leaves Ben to think about her offer as she wanders back into the main house to wash her hands. She hates rolling the arms of her sweaters up over her elbows and is mentally cursing herself for not changing shirts before she gave Ben his massage when her phone vibrates again against her hip. Making short work of drying her hands and arms off Rey extracts the mobile device and swipes the screen open with minimal effort.

It's not all from Snap thankfully, but it all seems to spiral from his newfound need for drama. Finn is the most recent addition to the list, coming up as Finn with a heart emoji and then a peanut emoji next to it.

-Hey Peanut, You got company? Snap just called Poe flippin out-  
-Girl, I hope you're being smart about this-

Finn, the closest thing she has to a family was the brother she always wanted. They met when she was working for Falcon Industries as a receptionist and all-around gofer girl on one of her summer vacations. The company owner, a gruff man by the name of Han Solo had taken a liking to her and decided to give her a chance despite her age. It had worked well because Rey found herself back there every summer, filling in positions throughout her two-year school program as well. Finn is a mechanic, just a few years older then she is but still very low on the totem pole. He and his partner Poe had been working for Solo for a few years when Rey had come along and sort of fallen into the crew. Poe is better with the plains aspect of things, he thrives on aeronautics while Finn just loves getting his hands on cars.

The two are an odd pairing but work so well no one ever questioned it. They just sort of happened one day and no one ever looked back.

Snap's text messages are a little less friendly, almost hostile in nature. She can feel the hair on the back of her arms and neck started to bristle, a need to respond and put him in his place mounting. She's just given what she considers one of the best treatments of her life and she's letting him ruin it with his stupid male stupidness.

-What the hell?-  
-really?-  
-I was just talking to Poe, do you have some guy out there?-  
-I'm coming out-

Rey sighs as her phone starts to buzz again. She's fired up and preparing to scream at Snap when she notices not his but Finn's name on the screen along with the time. When had it become nine-o-clock?

Swiping at the screen Rey forces her voice into a cheery lilt answering the phone with a "Hey Peanut,"

Finn's voice sounds rushed and breathless like he's running, "Hey pumpkin," the concern in his voice is thick, "What are you up to?"

Rey settles against her counter crossing her ankles as she holds the phone loosely against her face, "Just getting ready to hop in the hot tub. You and Poe make it to that play tonight?" A quick detour away from his real reason for calling won't hurt.

Finn mumbles something, it sounds like he's moving quickly, as he fires back, "Yeah, not Poe's thing but he went. Leia gave us tickets after all, how could we say no?"

"When the bosses wife insists," Rey tones in understanding.

"Right," Finn agrees reluctantly, "Listen P, Snap called Poe in a snit, what's going on."

Snap Wexley is not one of Finn's favorite people. In fact he loathes the idea that Rey has been wasting so much time on him as of late and is not afraid to voice his concern to whoever will listen. Poe in particular.

"He didn't show," Rey tells him simply, looking up as Ben enters the room with BB in tow. Her faithful companion wanders to her side, sitting with a slouch as he leans into her legs. Ben is shirtless but wearing his glorious dark denim, noticeably undone. He quirks an eye, mouthing 'do you want me to go?' clearly questioning whether he should actually take her up on her offer.

Rey shakes her head as Finn's voice chimes into the phone, "I don't know why you bother with him."

"Me either," is her response as she covers the mouthpiece with her hand and smiles at Ben. "Uhm, first door on the right is a spare bedroom, there's a dresser in there. Top drawer has swim trunks, just pick whatever you think will fit. Towels are in the hall closet beside the bathroom. I'll be with you in a minute"

"Uh… who you talking to there darling?" Finn asks suggestively, she clearly hadn't been as sneaky as she thought. His tone is edged with hopeful curiosity, she knows he's rooting for her to find someone who isn't an over fluffed arrogant flyboy to spend her time with but how would he feel about Ben? How did she feel about Ben?

Rey lets out a soft laughing exhalation as she idly pets BB's head. His ears are soft under her touch as he presses himself into her embrace. "A friend of Hux's" she replies enigmatically casting a look over her shoulder to watch as Ben slowly makes his way down the hallway. She isn't sure if he's listening, or if she even really cares.

"Male friend?" he croons curiously.

Rey grins, "Very." she tells him surely, "But, it's not like that. He couldn't get into me at work so Hux gave him my address,"

Finn chuckles as a bell chimes somewhere in the distance on his end of the phone, "Sounds like the arrogant prat, you ok?"

"Oh yeah, no, great," she says confidently. Trying to assure her friend that she's indeed very much ok out in the middle of the woods with this new acquaintance who just happens to be very tall, dark, incredibly handsome.

"Hold on a second," and suddenly Finn's mumbling something to Poe now as BB shifts and wanders into the living room. She stands quietly a moment, trying to discern what it was Finn and his partner are talking so heatedly about when she turns groping for her glass of wine in the process.

As she finds her glass empty she works at pouring herself another, managing to pull the loose cork from the neck with one hand. She's helping herself to another substantial helping when Ben emerges from the backroom. He looks adorably uncomfortable as he walks towards her with a large blue towel in hand. He's still topless but now wears a pair of dark blue swim shorts decorated at random with small bright red lobsters. BB dances excitedly at his side as he comes around the raised kitchen countertop giving her the full view of his rather exposed legs.

She lets out a loud laugh, moving her hand to cover the mouthpiece of her phone, "I'm so sorry, are those really the biggest I have?"

Ben simply shrugs, "They're not bad," he tells her, taking a moment to look down his body to his legs where the shorts cut off a few inches above his knees. "Listen I really appreciate all of this. I left cash on your shelf, I hope that's ok, for the massage I mean."

Rey nods as Finn's voice grows louder in the earpiece, "That's great," she tells him, "I'll be out in a minute. There are lights…" she starts but Ben gives her an easy wave of his hand.

"Take your time, I'll figure it out," he tells her as he disappeared through the sunporch again with BB at his heel.

"Peanut?" Finn must have said her name a few times because when she finally clues in that he's speaking to her his voice is laced with concern. "Listen, Poe's trying to talk Snap down here. I think he's been drinking,"

Joy.

"Just tell him I had a client come out to the house when he decided to stand me up. That should calm him down. I'm not dealing with him tonight." she tells him in a tone that brokers no more discussion on the matter. She's getting tired of the childishness and wants to enjoy the rest of her evening in peace.

"Will do. Breakfast tomorrow?"

"Only if we go to Akbar's I want to go to yoga in the morning," she tells him with a grin, it isn't hard to convince Finn to go to Akbar's, Junior serves the best coffee in the area and Finn doesn't function well without his coffee.

"Not going to be a late-night then?" Finn asks teasingly as Poe hollers Snap's name in the background.

Rey lets out a soft breathy laugh, "Naw, it's not like that. Don't get me wrong he's gorgeous but…"

"Right you're thing with clients," Finn finishes.

Rey tucks her phone against her cheek as she hoists her backside up onto her counter letting her legs hang off easily, "It's not my thing, it's kind of a professional thing,"

Finn's quiet a moment before he says, "Don't take his money then…" a little more flippantly then Rey likes the sound of.

"Just stop, he's an interesting guy. I'm going to have a glass of wine, soak in the hot tub and then he'll head home…" Her voice drops a note as she says that.

"Oh…?" Finn of course picks up on the hesitation right away.

Shaking her head Rey says, "Oh no no, he drives a motorbike, I was just thinking these roads up here aren't great in the day let alone at night."

Laughing to himself Finn groans against the phone as Poe's voice erupts over the speaker, "Please text the asshole, he's ready to drive up there and he's been drinking!"

There's a struggle, Finn sounds like he's laughing as Poe lets out a loud cry of indignation, "Ok I'm done now, I'm going to enjoy the rest of my evening." she sings into the phone, "Love you both"

As she hits end she's sure she heard the loud demand of "Send pics!" from Poe and Finn both. She has to laugh, her friends really do seem to make everything better.

Three more text messages from Snap, all as obnoxiously drunk as the last. She struggles with whether or not she should answer him setting her phone down, picking it up before setting it back down again. Why was it she's meant to care when he's acting like such a dick!

Finally, she opens the screen one last time and fires off a simple text

-Had a client, going to rest with BB and a book. Will talk tmrw-

Ok, she's done with that for the night. Shaking herself off she takes a deep drink of her wine, slides off the counter and then hurries upstairs to change into a bathing suit. Deciding on something a little more modest then her sunbathing two pieces Rey skips down the stairs in a simple one-piece of deep mauve. It bands around her neck but is laced up between the breasts and leaves only her upper back exposed.

After grabbing her wine and her phone she pulls a freshly dried towel out of her dryer and pads her way out to the hot tub and her awaiting guest. He's gathered up the sheets off the table and loosely folded them for her she notices as she makes her way through the sunroom. Taking a quick moment to check on the fire before she bursts through the door and into the cold air. She makes short work of hanging her towel up on a hook Finn had built into the side of her house before holding her phone aloft. "You ok if I put on some music?" she asks. When Ben didn't respond Rey pulled up one of her many music playlists. Turning on her Bluetooth speakers set she'd forgotten to take in the night before she's pleasantly surprised to find they still work. As the mellow voice of Norah Jones flutters around them Rey ascends the steps and sinks into the bubbling water.

It feels glorious to simply sink in and exist. Setting her glass of wine and her phone down on a shelf behind her she finds herself parallel to Ben. His dark stare is deep and still as he watches the world around them. The sky is alight now in a brilliant wash of distant starlight. It isn't a sight one is used to if they live in the city. Ben watches with the appreciation of one who missed the view, savoring the way the sky lights up the world around them in a glow like fairy light.

After a few minutes of silence, Ben finally turns to her, concern etched on his stoic face, "Everything ok?" He asks calmly. His long limbs reaching out through the water resting against the seat next to Rey. His arms are emerged sinking back so that his shoulders and part of his neck are swallowed by the water and its heady warmth.

Offering him a kind sort of smile Rey says, "Oh yes, Finn was just checking in. I've lived up here going on two years now and they still feel the need to baby me." she adds a sigh of contentment as she relaxes her head back against the slope of the seat the whisps of her loose hairs getting damp in the process. She's always loved the way the warmth of the water seeps into her core while the chill of the night air licks at her flesh leaving it in goose pimples. There's something about the heat that comforts her, a reminder of a past life maybe, or something deeper.

"You are quite a way out," Ben seems to agree, "It's amazing though," he says almost wistfully as he raises a wet hand to drag it through his hair pulling it back in an arching wave of body. "It's so busy in the city, people forget the simple things. They consume themselves with a need to fill some vacancy that they have no idea what to do with."

Rey allows herself to be carried away by his words. He's a deep thinker, complex and mindful. She watches as his lips move, the way he smiles softly or how his eyes crinkle as he speaks of different topics. There's no rhyme or reason to the conversation, it's easy and flows smoothly. Their hallows filled with pointed silence where each seems to simply bask in the other's company. Ben is smart, he studied a lot in his free time but doesn't keep many books of his own. When he was deployed it was hard to keep possessions on hand. He had to be a minimalist and in some ways that washed over into his personal life as well. He loves the library he admits. He loves the search for something beyond his own understanding. He learned his way around engines at an early age, admitting to stealing his dad's bikes and then cars on more than one occasion. His true mechanical enlightenment didn't come for some years after though. It's deviant and yet Rey loves to hear the telling of it.

She too shares bits of her story, how her parents died when she was young and her uncle raised her in hopes of gaining access to a small trust that had been left in her name. She speaks of her love for her job, her friends and when there's nothing left to say, fills the time with stories of BB and his many misadventures. She talks about finding herself and doesn't mind so much, it doesn't feel like bragging not when Ben watches her like that. He asked questions and she answers, thinking on the responses carefully as he watches her as though he truly sees her. She skirts away from some things, avoiding any real talk of her uncle or her childhood. There's no need to go down that path with a complete stranger

As the evening draws on and their skin becomes pruney and wrinkled they moved the conversation indoors without a second thought. It's nice to find herself at ease with someone who doesn't seem to really want anything from her. He shuts the hot tub down for her while she dries her hair and brings in her speakers. They work together in simple harmony, moving around one another as though they have always known one another's quirks and idiosyncrasies.

After a quick rinse off in separate showers Rey finishes her wine and begins making them hot chocolate. Ben is toweling his hair dry when he enters the kitchen clad in his dark jeans and a black t-shirt. He's barefoot she notices, his feet leaving warm, damp footprints across her floor as he holds up the towel questioningly.

"Through the door at the bottom of the stairs," she tells him, nodding behind her as she pulls her blanket shawl tightly around her chest. She hasn't bothered to get properly dressed, instead, she has picked out a pair of blue, purple and white plaid sleep pants and a simple beige t-shirt that had the words 'namastay in bed' scrawled across the front.

When she turns with both mugs of hot cocoa in hand, a heaping number of marshmallows in her own Ben is standing behind her. "Thanks for everything," he says softly, his eyes kind and warm as they catch hers. They look grateful and curious like he wants to say more, or maybe move but thinks better of it. He wets his lips before saying, "I really should get going soon. It's later then I thought."

Somehow they managed to spend an entire evening together and have it feel like no time at all had passed. Rey exhales softly holding out the second cup of sweetly scented hot cocoa. "I made hot chocolate," she offers weakly. Her insides fluttering as Ben smiles at her, an easy laugh on his lips as he takes the cup and holds it to his nose.

"You're…" He starts to say but his words die away, settling instead on a sweet, "Thank you." Following her as she leads him into the sunporch, her favorite room in the house. BB is settled onto the couch snoozing happily as Rey opens the wood stove and pokes at the logs a few times with her iron poker. The fire crackles and snaps with a pleasant warmth, the embers glowing a deep dark red as its heat seeps out into the room. Ben sits on the couch leaving ample space she notices should she decide to join him.

Through her wine addled consciousness she desperately wants to. How easy it would be to sit down in the space allotted next to him, folding up against the warmth of his strong body. Hesitating a moment Rey takes the creaky old Papasan chair instead, folding herself into it with cautious ease as the old wicker creaks beneath her. BB, lifting his head to notice he's no longer along, rises to his feet and ungracefully adjusts his position so that his head now lies against Ben's lap. "You've made a friend," Rey offers lightly, sipping on the warm chocolaty liquid in slow tentative bursts.

Ben simply rubs the large beasts head, his long fingers dipping behind BB's ears to give him loving scritches which the canine soaks up eagerly. After a few minutes of silence, Ben's focus on his task at hand slips and he looks up to ask, "Why BB?"

Rey laughs softly, "Benjamin Button," she tells him with an embarrassed grin, "I went through a Brad Pitt stage, it's weird I know. BB is far less embarrassing."

Nodding sagely Ben allows his hand to run the length of the furry monstrosities back. He sips his cocoa and quietly watches out the window as he had before. His features are still and calm but there is a forlorn sort of pain etched against the set of his brow. Rey finds herself wanting to run her fingers along the length of his nose, over his cheeks, down his neck. She wants to lose herself in his whiskey-colored stare and know him. Truly know him.

"Doing ok over there?" she asks softly, Ben's hands stilling as he withdraws his gaze from the forest and brightly lit sky beyond to settle it back on Rey. She's sitting on her hip, her legs folded beneath her as her fingers idly play against her pinky toe. There's a nervousness that settles into her making her feel like she's a teenager again. That frightened sophomore who didn't know how to talk to boys let alone the captain of the lacrosse team.

Ben in this case is the captain of the lacrosse team, "Yeah, sorry," he muses, "It's just nice to feel this peaceful. I don't remember the last time being with someone was this easy." He stills suddenly as if he's said something he regrets, "Sorry that sounded…" He purses his lips together and exhales.

Rey however is quick to rescue him from his thoughts, "I get it," she says softly and she really does.


	5. Chapter 5

When Rey wakes up the next morning Ben is gone and her body aches desperately. She'd somehow managed to fall asleep folded in on herself in her old Papasan chair. The wicker creaks animatedly beneath her as she stretches and basks in the warm glow of the sun cresting the trees. Her mug is gone, and a blanket is neatly folded over her legs, placed with such care it hadn't caused her to stir. BB, asleep on the couch and none the wiser snoring away, stretched out like the lazy lump that he is.

They'd stayed up talking to all hours. However, she can't remember the last thing they talked about, just his laugh. That wonderful chuckling that sounds like he was trying to hide the fact that he's happy.

Shaking herself from her fond morning reverie Rey sets about her morning ritual. Feed BB, start a coffee, check her phone. Just two text messages this time, one from Hux, odd for this time of day and one from Finn conforming coffee post-yoga.

Right, she was going to try and make it to a class wasn't she? Luke is going to give her hell for missing so many sessions as of late, she knows it but he's always been a bit of an old curmudgeon. Casting her eyes on the clock she plays a game of what-ifs deciding she has more than enough time to hop in the shower quickly and make it into town before Luke's seven am Yin yoga class. She needs the release more then she needs the extra sleep no matter how sweetly those freshly laundered linens call to her.

Stripping out of her clothing as she marches through her house Rey notices their mugs washed and set in the drying rack next to a piece of paper lined with neatly scrawling script. Curiosity getting the better of her she finds her way back into the kitchen reading over the fine penmanship fondly.

Rey,

Can't thank you enough for last night, I haven't laughed like that in ages - really I'm looking forward to feeling sore tomorrow. (today?)  
Hux neglected to give me your number, just your address. To avoid seeming like a huge creep and just showing up on your doorstep.  
I'll leave you my number. I'd love to see you again soon.

-Ben

Rey grins broadly as she holds the note to her chest. She's torn between utter elation and a deepening fear that all this may be just too good to be true. Ben was been referred to her, he is a client, he came to her with the intention of being a client. She can't date him. Did he even want to date her? Seeing her soon could mean so many things.

Quickly she's spiraling down a hole of uncertainty and self-doubt. She needs to shake this gross feeling, likely the wine and concentrate on the positives. She has just had a marvelously lovely evening with a man whom a friend had recommended to her because she is awesome. There, that's all that matters. She can sweat the rest of it out on the mat.

Without further haste Rey hops in the shower, finds herself a clean pair of yoga pants and top, takes care of BB's needs and skips off for the long drive in town. Most people hate the trek but for Rey it's one of the best parts of her day. It's an opportunity to decompress and mull things over. She can listen to music as loud as she wants, sing at the top of her lungs, listen to an audiobook, compile her grocery list, plot world domination. Whatever her heart wishes. When the weather is nice it's amazing, tall trees opening into the valley below as her mountain, which is really more of a large hill, winds down into more populated areas.

There's something oddly surreal about driving into town like she's entering into another world. The countryside around the foothills are sparsely populated but have their own basic conveniences. It's a sort of modern rural suburbia where young families move to escape the doldrum city life. Poe and Finn have been looking at a home in the area. Things are getting serious now that they've been together for almost five years. They're even talking about getting a house plant!

Walking Sky Studio is on the outer edge of the city of Coruscant. It's a sort of stand-alone building made of old brick, one of the last of its kind in the area. All around it larger structures are popping up. Apartment buildings with hip new coffee bars and hair salons on the ground level. But, Luke owned the building and his sister is on the city council so he's been left alone for the most part. Left to bring peace and tranquility to all those who seek out his particular brand of yogi.

Parking is easier at this time of day, Rey finds a spot almost immediately. Come noon this area will be overrun with people who can't parallel park and have a hard time understanding the purpose of a parking meter. She likes morning classes best for the lack of fuss and crazy.

Grabbing her mat from the trunk and locking the doors to her old Honda SUV Rey makes her way inside. The room is dimly lit and smells of sandalwood and something faintly spicy. The aroma immediately makes her think of Ben. Luke is standing at the front of the open space speaking with a tall woman with wavy blondish hair. Rey can't help but notice how the woman stands in partial tree pose as she speaks, both her hands balanced on the same hip crossing her body.

When Luke's eyes fall on Rey he excuses himself from his conversation and makes his way over towards her. Trying to ignore the blatant favoritism shown by their yoga instructor Rey begins laying out her mat preparing herself for the tongue lashing that is sure to come.

"Where have you been lately," Comes Luke's half accusatory speech. He's smiling she notes, something he doesn't do often.

Rey chuckles, "Busy," She answers as Luke's hand finds the back of her arm. He rubs at it lightly in a gesture that to some might misconstrue an invasion of space, maybe even a tad inappropriate. Rey however takes it for what it was, a kindly old man who likes to keep an eye on her doing just that. "I've picked up a few extra clients at home," She isn't really lying, she has been doing more massage from her house as of late.

With a gentle squeeze Luke says, "You better not be working yourself too hard," It's nice to have someone care about her like that. Luke is like a kindly old uncle who likes to give advice, is always there when you need and has an affinity for throwing rocks at kids who walk through his lawn. He has a reputation for being no-nonsense and very straight-laced but Rey has seen him after a couple of glasses of red wine. She knows what he is all about at his core.

"I do have to ask though. Do you work a lot from home?" casting an eye on the clock Luke speaks quickly, "I only ask because I have a nephew who's in desperate need. He was in an accident several months ago and the pain still plagues him. He's trying to get back to work even though Han and Leia hate the idea of it. I know you're busy at work but I thought maybe I'd give him your number…?"

The last of the regulars have strolled in and are setting up their mats leaving Luke with little time for this conversation. He smiles and mouthes 'talk later' as he slips off to the front and settles himself down onto his yoga mat in a cross-legged position.

The class goes by with little incident. Rey focuses on her breathing, shifting into the long-held stretches in languid movements. She has become adept at holding the poses. In Luke's yoga teacher training classes, which Rey had taken before, he was been known for smacking you lightly with a bamboo reed if he felt you were doing something wrong which to him meant unsafe. To avoid getting swatted Rey always made sure she knew what she was doing. From time to time she'd slip out of place to annoy the old hermit but quickly found herself righted again.

She always found peace on the mat, like stretching and engaging her muscles released not only tension but the emotions she's holding onto too deeply. As her mind slips into a blissfully contented place she mulls Luke's words over, he has a nephew who'd suffered an injury. Could it have been a coincidence? Ben had talked about a lot of things, she's now realizing that family wasn't one of them. He avoided the topic in fact, falling quiet or losing himself whenever Rey steered the conversation in that direction.

When class is over, as she rolls up her mat exchanging pleasantries with those around her Luke approaches, "You're holding onto something in your chest," he observes casually, "your core is a mess, what's going on?"

"Nothing," Rey quips lightly, avoiding the pale blue and all-knowing stare that is Luke Skywalker, "I fell asleep in a chair last night that's probably all it is."

Luke eyes her warily, he has the worst habit of seeing what other people don't want him to see. It's hard to fool him when it comes to matters of the emotional and spiritual and that makes him all the more infuriating. Still he's kind and loving and despite his peculiarities, one of the closest things she's ever had to a father figure. "Right…" he seems to chew on the word as he turns with her, walking her to the doorway.

Adjusting her mat under her arm Rey stops mid-stride, "You were saying about a nephew?"

"Yes, Ben." That can't be a coincidence. "He was in a bad accident, he's been trying to get back to work much to Han and Leia's dismay…"

Rey can't help herself, she blurts out, "Ben is Han and Leia's kid?" Of course if Ben is Luke's nephew he would be Han and Leia's kid. Hadn't he already mentioned them when he brought up his nephew the first time? Her mind skips and skitters along half-formed thought patterns. Had Ben known the connection between her and his family from the start? If he did why hadn't he said anything about it? Hux surely would have known. Her list of things to rake him over the coals for is growing at an exponential rate.

Chuckling to himself Luke appears utterly unfazed by the interruption, "Of course Ben is Han and Leia's kid. I only have the one sister. I'm surprised Leia never brought him up before."

Leia is a client of Rey's. She was one of her first clients in fact. They had met when Rey was working for Han at Falcon. She'd liked Leia from the start, she was quick-witted and took no guff from anyone, least of all her brother or husband. She would stop by the office and chat with Rey taking her out for lunch every now and again. Rey had always suspected Finn had let her circumstances slip to Han who could keep nothing from his wife. She didn't mind though, she had become enveloped in their lives and it was comfortable. How then had she never met Ben?

Sure, Leia talked about having a son. He was older she recalled, a few years Poe's junior and Rey could recall Leia talking about how he had gotten himself into trouble. Something she now realized must have started at a young age. There were never any pictures of Ben in Han's office or even in their home.

"He's only been stateside since his accident, he's a Marine," Luke explains as Rey's mind reels, "Takes after Han with his affinity for flying. I've never seen a kid with a mind for machines the way Ben does. She really never mentioned him?"

"She mentioned a son but I never knew his name before now," Rey says distantly, well aware that her smile has faded to something more like a contemplative grimace. Quickly, but not without Luke noticing she grins, "Give him my number sure." she tells him pleasantly.

Nodding sagely Luke reaches out for Rey, taking her by the shoulder, "You sure you're ok?" his tone is soft and filled with paternal concern, "We could go grab a coffee?"

Rey laughs brightly, "I thought you swore off the stuff," she toys, looping her arm up so that her hand rests on Luke's shoulder in a position mirroring his own, "I'd love to but I'm meeting Finn and Poe at Ackbar's in a few minutes. Rein check though?"

Luke nods as Rey broke their contact. She's heading for the door to get her shoes when she stops and turns back. "Thanks… for being concerned." she tossed him a half firmed smirk as she cocks her head to the side. "I found some new trails up by the house," she continues as she tucks her feet into a pair of worn but incredibly comfy sneakers, "There's one that I've been chipping away at it goes straight down to the lake. If you ever want to go up. I don't need to be home." She offers, "Grab BB and take a stroll. You know where I keep the spare. He'd love it."

"Thanks youngling," Luke calls lightly and Rey was off.

She doesn't bother moving her car, the jaunt to Ackbar's isn't a far one. Tucking her mat into her trunk she sets off down the sidewalk. The air is chilly so she's glad she'd pulled on a sweater, her body warm beneath the fabric tingles against the cool air. It's invigorating and just the atmosphere she needs to clear her head of all it's bubbling thoughts.

Poe and Finn are already there and seated Rey is pleased to find as she wanders past one of Ackbar's large picture windows. Junior always opened early for the morning crowd. What was the point in having a coffee house if you weren't open when people most needed coffee? Poe and Finn Are settled into a table close to the back window at a table drawn for four she notices. They are talking happily when Finn's eyes find her and he rises to his feet.

"Peanut!" he chimes as Poe slides his chair back casually, swooping in for a hug after Finn has gotten his fill. "How was yoga?"

"Enlightening," Rey offers up as she slides into the seat adjacent to the window, "We waiting on someone else?"

It's Poe who responds, "Hux is joining us," he tells her with a knowing raise of his brow. Poe has an easy smile and a thick head of dark hair. He always looks like he needs to shave, a fact for which Finn teases him about mercilessly. He's older than them by more years then he'll ever admit but it makes him easy conversation and a fast ally when one is needed. At this moment, his hair is swept back off his face in a way that reminds Rey of a certain Marine she can't keep out of her head.

Rey chuckles as she waves to Junior, "Oh good, I need to have a word with him." she says with casual ease, crossing her legs as she settles herself in for what promised to be an interesting breakfast.

Finn is nursing his coffee the way some might a lover, holding it in front of his face so that the coiling tendrils of sweet aromatic java waft over him. Rey is sure this isn't his first cup, maybe not even his second. Not with the tender care he takes sipping at the dark liquid, black and sharp the way Finn likes it. "So…" he edges eagerly, "How was last night?"

She's sure Poe has kicked Finn under the table, as Finn jolts back in his seat slightly. Finn is undeterred, however, his dark eyes alight with mischievous curiosity. "Great," comes her easy answer, careful not to give too much away until Hux arrives, "We talked, had coco, I don't know what time he left but he's lovely."

"How is it Hux has this mystery friend none of us have met let alone heard about before?" Poe asks, crossing his arms loosely against his chest.

"Oh, you may have," Rey replies cryptically, grin broadening as Junior approaches with a steaming pot of coffee held out in offering. "Hey, Junior!"

Junior is a tall man with a broad face and big eyes. He inherited the restaurant from his father when his father decided to go into politics at random. The Admiral they all use to call him fondly had long since passed but Junior keeps the place just as it always had been. A staple in a time when things were quick to change. "Coffee Rey?" he asks with a smile his voice lilting with the faintest of accents that Rey has always found hard to place.

"No thanks, I'd love a water and maybe a tea?"

"I have some night oolong in from the coast?" Junior offers. Rey loves that he is always trying to keep things fresh without changing the basics.

"Perfect" she chimes as Junior ducks away swerving around a tall, lanky redhead who is making a quick approach.

Hux, as always is dressed in his typical black ensemble of black trousers, a black v-neck sweater, and a black blazer worn over top. It always sort of struck Rey as a little odd that he was so averse to color. The constant lack of which makes him look washed out, like some pasty high-school kid. "Hello," he calls, his voice light but thickly accented as he takes the seat opposite Rey with a smug smirk, "Good night last night?" He quips lightly, and Rey kicks at him, hard. The soft toe of her worn sneakers providing little protection from the impact of the assault but it feels good when she hits him square in the shin. "Jesus, what was that for?!" He cries, rubbing at the offended limb.

"You. Are. A. Prat!" She bites through clenched teeth and a hidden smile of her own.

Hux has the audacity to look affronted and confused while Poe and Finn just looked curiously amused. "What, Ben said it was a lovely evening!" he cries defensively.

"Oooooh, Ben…" Poe mocks childishly. Despite being the oldest he can also be the most infuriating. It may also be that he feels bad for introducing or more or less pushing Rey in Snap's direction leading her down the path of endless ghosting.

Rey takes a backhanded but playful swing in Poe's direction as he laughs, raising his hands in his defense. She stares him down a moment before she says with deliberate slowness, "Yes, Ben…" quite pointedly adding with a certain degree of pleasure at that, "Ben Solo." Her eyes fall to Hux appraising his reaction. Unsurprisingly it's one to utter smugness, Finn and Poe on the other hand share matching looks of shock and awe. They look to one another, then to Hux before their attention falls to Rey, "Yeah… I didn't find that part out until this morning," she mutters, keeping her eyes trained on Hux.

It isn't Hux who responds first however, it's Poe, uttering a mindful, "Shit…" softly as he worries at his stubbled covered jaw with his hand.

Still Hux looks utterly nonplussed, as though he has no idea the significance the name Solo might bring to the table, "What?" he answers with a hapless shrug, "He's a friend."

"I know you're not stupid Hux," Poe bites out rather seriously, "You know exactly what you did. How is it you're friends with him and none of us knew anyway?"

With a casual shrug of his shoulders, Hux crosses his legs, resting folded palms easily against his bent knee, "No one asked I suppose,"

Poe looks like he might snap, instead, Finn asks, "You never through the fact that you were mates with our bosses son was worth mentioning?" He slumps back against his chair crossing his arms to his chest. Finn isn't one to look intimidating, no matter how hard he tries. He does however do a damn good job looking annoyed.

Rey feels oddly vilified in her annoyance as she watches her best friend's reaction. Poe seems a little more irritated then she may have anticipated though, he's practically radiating a need to wrap his hands around Hux's throat.

Thankfully Junior takes that moment to return with her water, a cup of oolong and a pot of coffee ready to pour for Hux. The redhead accepts the warm liquid happily when Poe raises his hand, "I'm sorry, How?" he bursts out.

There's a pregnant pause at the table, even Junior seems to still. Poe isn't just annoyed she realizes, he's properly pissed off. Rey thanks Junior, stirring him from his mindful attentiveness. Their server gives her an apologetic smile and indicates he'd be back in a little bit to take their orders, clearly very happy to escape their table and the mounting dark cloud that's surrounding them.

When Hux doesn't answer the question, Poe simply stares him down, his dark eyes growing larger as he mentally urges Hux on. Whether he's being coy or truly doesn't understand the question Rey knows they aren't going to get the answer they want from Armitage. He's smart enough to know when not to bait Poe despite his obvious love of stirring the pot. "Oh Jesus, Armitage it's not a big deal." Rey pipes in after a moment, "They did community service together ages ago."

Hux has the decency this time to look mildly ashamed or perhaps he's annoyed. She knows he hates when people called him by his first name and to her knowledge she's the only one who does so now. "Ah, Yes he told you that did he?" Hux asks as Finn takes a swat at his shoulder.

"Noooo," He all but giggles, "Noooo…." Rey isn't sure she could have given Finn a better gift at that moment. The fact that she has also taken some of the wind out of Hux's sails is a mere bonus. Finn is laughing now, both his large hands covering his mouth as he chortles into them, eyes alight as he tries to hide his growing mirth.

It's only funny because Hux is so straight-laced and proper ninety-eight percent of the time. Poe however does not look amused or even surprised in the least. He rolls his eyes as he rubs a hand down the back of his neck. "Figured," he mutters to himself as he makes to adjust himself in his chair.

You don't need to be Luke Skywalker to pick up on Poe's agitation. He's never exactly been known for being calm, cool, and collected but Poe is looking absolutely murderous. He's never been overly close with their ginger friend and truth be told Rey isn't convinced they would even be friends if it weren't for her or Finn. They're too different and not in a way that opposites attract. It's more in a way that oil and water simply won't mix. She chances Poe's ire with a soft questioning, "Do you know Ben?" her tone easy, "I mean you've been with Han the longest. You're kind of like a son to he and Leia."

The mention of his relationship with the Solo family brings a sad sort of smile to Poe's lips. Finn has reached out across the table and taken his partner's hand which Poe accepts with a fondness often only awarded to Finn. "Yeah…" he says slowly, leveling his stare on Rey, his smile is half worn but quickly turns to a grimace as he takes to glaring at Hux, "I mean not well, obviously." He gives Finn's hand a light squeeze before he starts to itch at the back of his neck, adding hastily, "Look, he's probably changed a lot since I knew him. I'm sure he's a nice guy."

"He's a Marine now," Hux tells them softly, evidently picking up on the need to share something that wasn't useless information or baiting irritation. His smug grin is gone as he leans forward to add a creamer and some sugar to his coffee before giving it a sharp stir.

Poe doesn't look impressed with this new-found knowledge or maybe he's known all along. He'd known Ben at some point so it's not outside of the realm of possibility for him to have known that Ben had gone off and joined the Marines. "Yeah, good, I mean." he's trying to calm himself, looking at no one in particular as he busies himself with his coffee, toying with the edge of his napkin, adjusting the angle of his fork, anything at all. "It's not my story to tell," he finally says, speaking to the whole group but Rey knew his words are directed at her.

"Then don't," is Hux's reply, muttering irritably as he levels Poe with a poignant glare. He's a great many things, their Armitage but at the core of all his idiosyncrasies Hux is loyal to a fault. Ben must have done something pretty grand in order to have earned such a strong degree of friendly devotion. Even when it's present, Hux doesn't like to make his affection for others' common knowledge. He often hides behind manipulative games, never outright stating his intent but allowing it to be known in other ways.

"You can't honestly think it's a good idea for her to go into this blind either," Poe pushes.

Hux however pushes back, "Let him tell her on his own."

With an exasperated sigh Rey lets out a groan of irritation, "You're acting like I'm going to date the guy. You," she points at Hux who is taking a slow drink of his coffee, "referred him to me. I treated him. He's a client."

Unbothered by Rey's words Hux responds with a pointed finger in her direction, "You, Then invited him for supper, a soak in your hot tub and made him coco." he quirks a challenging brow, "Ben didn't get in until closer to three am." His knowledge of their evening is more in-depth then Rey would have expected. Hux is obviously a lot closer to Ben then she had originally thought.

Wait, "How do you know when he got in?" she asks curiously, gesturing towards Hux with a playful bite which makes him quickly drop his finger.

He's obviously given away far more information then he intended to as he settles back against his chair calmly. "Oh…" He's avoiding Poe now, focusing intently on Rey who's oolong she realizes is growing cold. "I've been staying in Ben's apartment for years now." He answers as if it were nothing, "I'd say we're roommates but he'd rarely ever stateside. He was training in Bespin when the accident happened. He was too injured for them to move him so they kept him there for months worried about what the travel would do for his recovery." There's a sigh and Hux takes a long drink from his mug. He almost seems defeated when he turns his look to Poe. "We all have a past." he levels seriously, "Some darker than others but that doesn't mean we can't rise above it."

Poe looks like he's going to respond but it's Finn, unable to hold in his questions any longer who speaks, "What did you Do?" His dark eyes are broad, like a child about to be told a tale of adventure and danger.

"Finn…" Rey admonishes softly.

Hux however seems resigned to follow along his newfound track of honesty. "I'll tell you once and then it never comes up again," He runs a hand through his hair sweeping it off his forehead in a way that reminds Rey of Ben. "I stole my father's car…"

They all wait for the rest of the story, surely it couldn't just have been that. Hux the golden child, the man who strives to be the best at everything he does and doesn't stop until he's accomplished it. Upon realizing the others aren't content with just that Armitage lets out a sigh, shaking his head with a roll of his eyes, "Look, I have a complicated relationship with my father." his voice drops along with a level of his arrogance, "I may have tried to use said car to run him over."

Finn grows bug-eyed crying, "No!"

The dark-haired Poe however mutters something that sounds like, "No wonder you two are friends."

It's Hux's turn to look agitated, turning his cool stare upon Poe challengingly. "Don't," He bites out.

Things spiral quickly and Rey is becoming very unsettled with the direction this is taking. Poe can't seem to settle or maybe he isn't even trying. It's hard to tell with him sometimes. Hux has just admitted something that clearly makes him very uncomfortable and Poe can't give him the credit he's due.

She's about to call him out on it when Poe explodes, "You know what, No!" he cries, ignoring the way Finn says his name desperate for him to stop, "I get the whole redemption thing, I do and maybe he deserves forgiveness but what I don't get Hux is how you can let your friend, enter into any kind of relationship with a man who has a history like Ben Solo."

Hux has never one for confrontation, he likes things easy and has a mind for getting himself out of situations that make him uncomfortable. He's a thinker, a fixer, a problem solver and makes his job being indispensable to those who employe him. At this moment however, Hux looks like he might match Poe's need for a physical altercation. He pulls at his lapels trying to settle himself as he places a hand against the table, pale knuckles bent, "We aren't doing this," he seethes.

Poe simply pushes forward, "Oh no, I think we are," he bites out, "If you're not going to think of Rey, I am."

"Were you thinking of Rey when you pushed that arrogate fool of a pilot Snap Wexley in her direction?" Hux raises a brow challengingly, "Tell me how that went."

Finn shakes his head uttering softly, "Don't do this, guys."

"Snap may be arrogant but at least he hasn't tried to kill anyone. He's not a drug addict." Poe would have continued but Rey slapped him and hard across the face.

She's sure where it came from but the need to defend Ben who wasn't here to do so himself radiates through her. Her body thrums with hostile agitation, the morning's yoga class and all its blessed serenity a moot point now. Everyone is silent, Hux looking furious while Poe blinks wide-eyed.

"The two of you stop it now," Rey seethes, "I get you're concerned," she begins, stalling as Poe makes to say something, "No, my turn." her voice is deathly still and quiet. She's desperate to get the eyes of the other patrons off them and settle into a quiet happy breakfast with her friends. "What is this? You don't get to be someone's judge, jury and executioner. No. I appreciate the concern but I'm not a child." Hux looks smug before Rey turns her ire on him, "And you, I don't even know where to start. I can't help but feel this was some misguided attempt at pushing two people together without either of them knowing." Smugness gone, Rey has hit the mark, "I'm so sick of all of this bullshit, you guys act like I can't do anything on my own or like I need a man."

She slides her chair back harshly, "What I need is for you all to fuck off and give me a chance to live my own life. I also need to Pee." she told them harshly, "Order me an eggs Benny with asparagus when Junior comes back and this ends now!"

There's too much to process, Rey's body hums as she walked away. She just needs a reprieve from the drama. This is why she chose to live on the side of a mountain in the middle of the woods, far away from anyone.


	6. Chapter 6

After the events of breakfast, Rey's next two days off are spent enjoying quality me time. She reads a book, she cleans the guest room, she clears some of the trails that she and BB have been chipping away at. She even contemplates pulling out her holiday decorations but the thought is fleeting. Wine and a movie is a much better alternative. Most importantly she's left her cellphone turned off for the entire forty-eight hours. Tired of the nagging, the unwarranted guidance, and the drama she's determined to enjoy her time off the grid. She still has a home phone if anyone really needed her but as no one has called her, it's safe to say her message has been received loud and clear.

At the end of the two days, she's only thought about Ben maybe seventeen times. The majority of those times she feels she can blame on the wine. No, she'll definitely be blaming it on the wine. When the end of her social hiatus hits she feels almost normal again. Ready to take on the world. Well, maybe not the world exactly, but she's ready to get back to work

Deciding to go to bed early Rey turns her phone on and watches as the small icon illuminates the otherwise dark screen. Apparently cranky at being left off for a whole two days the small electronic device lags taking its time encouraging Rey to set to her nightly routine. Throwing her phone onto her bed she finds herself before the large brightly let mirror in her ensuite. Large luminous brown eyes stare back at her reminding her what a few good nights sleep can do for one's complexion and sanity.

She pulls her hair back, washes her face with deliberate slowness then brushes her teeth before padding back to climb into her bed happily. Her soul sings with self-gratification and tranquility as BB climbs into bed next to her doing his trademark half turn with a flop accented by the slight beating to his tail. It always made her laugh like he's trying to expel the last vestiges of energy from his body in order the achieve optimum relaxation.

Rey's about to pull out her book when she remembers her phone. She doesn't really want to check her messages but she does need to check her schedule for the next day. That need outweighs her temporary self imposed social exile.

Of course, there are close to twenty-two messages and a hand full of voice mails. She tells herself none of them could be that important, no one bothered to reach out to her at home. The reality of it makes her feel better as she begins idly leafing through the texts.

Poe, Finn, Finn, Finn, Hux, Snap, Snap, Poe… She rolls her eyes before noticing one from a number that isn't saved to her contacts. It's familiar but only in that, she's pretty sure she's seen it somewhere before. Pulling her heavy duvet up and over her legs Rey settles into her bed, resting back against her pillows like a princess propped up on her grand mattress. She picks up her book, ready to sink into its pages when it hits her.

Ben.

Groping for her phone with renewed intent she picks over the text messages to find the one left by the random number.

So Hux had pushed Ben to reach out to her. There's no mention of their conversation or the allegations laid against Ben by her friends. There's no hint of shame or any indication at all really that Ben is aware of just how much Rey has been told about his life by someone who wasn't him.

Immediately she feels guilty. It wasn't fair to judge him based on here-say. He deserved a chance to tell his story on his own didn't he? Or maybe she was just making excuses so that she might feel better about wanting to see him again.

Without realizing what she's doing Rey hits call and Ben's number comes up on her screen as dialing. Her heartbeat flutters against her chest as she brings the pice to her ear and places a delicate hand against her throat. Worrying her fingertips against the notch of her sternum, her jugular notch she notes happily as she waits.

One ring, two rings. Her heartbeat echos in her ears loud and brilliant. She's ready to hang up on the third ring out of sheer panic when a voice breaks through on the other end, "Hello?"

Rey stills, her fingers against her lips as she sits in stunned silence. "Hello?" the deep voice comes again, a little stronger this time, not annoyed but definitely no-nonsense.

"H-Hey, Ben?" There's a blush creeping into her cheeks heating up her face as it travels. She sounds like a little kid talking to her crush and she hates that.

There's a sound on the other end of something shifting, maybe footsteps falling short. She's not sure but it sounds like he was moving around and stopped when she finally decides to speak, "Rey?" he asks softly. She can hear Hux's voice not exact words but a mumbling of his voice as he talks to Ben and the two sit in silence a moment before Rey realizes it's now her turn to speak. That's how conversations work

"Yeah, sorry, Yes. It's me. Sorry, I didn't get back to you I had my phone off the last few days."

Ben's words fall slow and even, "Everything ok?"

Realizing how that likely came across, Rey quickly says, "Oh yeah, just needed a break from the world. You know. Quiet me time."

A door shuts in the background and she can hear music playing. Something with a steady, strong, and easy bass and guitar beat. "Are you listening to Tom Petty?" she asks with a grin.

"Shit sorry, can you hear that?" Ben seems to turn down his music and Rey giggles.

"Are you a Heart Breakers fan?" she teases and on the other end she can hear Ben laugh softly, a slight rapid exhalation of air that makes Rey's grin broaden.

"Yeah, I blame my mum."

Again that awkward silence overtakes them. Why had she called him if she was just going to sit there and not say anything?

Speak Ray!

"You doing ok there kid?" he asks with a soft lilt, she can picture him worrying his hand through his hair as he pushes it back off his forehead. Maybe he's doing that sort of half-laugh half-smile that makes his lips look so utterly kissable.

Hux is there again in the background and there's a muffling, like a hand over the phone as she can hear is Ben's low baritone rumbling, pulling her from her daydream. She definitely doesn't need to be thinking about his lips, "Yeah, no yeah I'm good, really. I just turned my phone on and noticed you'd texted me."

Ben chuckles, "Two days ago, no big deal. I was starting to think maybe I was too forward."

Rey exhales through her teeth, the air sounding a little like the soft hissing of a kettle, "No, no," she runs her hand through BB's fur as her large furry companion edges a little closer. "I was just feeling a little overwhelmed with the world really…"

"Ahhh," he sounds as though he might understand, "Hux said you might need a bit of a break from people."

Hux said that, had he? Clever Hux. Still pulling the strings from the background despite her warning to leave well enough alone.

Was it a bad thing though? He gave Ben her number which she's not exactly upset about. She likes that she doesn't have to think about whether or not she should send him a message. There's none of that feeling like a hapless teenage girl with a crush. At least, it's dulled to a soft roar now that they're actually speaking. "It happens sometimes, back to work tomorrow though," she tells him wistfully. That part she doesn't mind, she enjoys her job, her employer, her place of employment. Work, like her home, is a safe place. Things make sense there, there is a goal to achieve and a time frame to do it in. People are happy to see her and felt better when they leave. What could be better than that?

"Working tomorrow huh?"

Listening to Ben's voice, Rey snuggles into bed curling up on her side so that she's curled around BB. She shifts her hips until they're comfortable and she and Ben fall into an easy conversation. Ben is quiet but talks quite a bit once he really gets going. He tells her about how Tom Petty was his first concern and how his father had forced him to a Clapton concert when he was sick with the flu. He told her about the first bike he ever rebuilt, and the first time he knew he loved to fly. They talk and talk the way old friends do, sharing pieces of their lives in snippets and flashes. They laugh, then they yawn and by the time the conversation is over Rey is agreeing to meet him the next day after work for coffee or possible dinner. He even promises to pick her up on his motorcycle after she expresses an interest in his sleek two-wheeled ride.

They stay on the phone until Rey has a hard time keeping her eyes open and even then a little after that. When sleep finally overtakes her Rey's heart sings with brilliant, affectionate warmth and she can't wait until work is over tomorrow.

Her work is further into the city then Walking Sky Studio. The drive is obnoxious but only because of the plethora of one-way streets and odd turns that seem to plague the up and coming tree-lined boulevards. It's filled with unique older homes, artisan boutiques and cozy little eateries boasting a mix of handmade delicacies. Parking is an absolute nightmare, the streets are littered with parking meters and two-hour spots leaving those who work in the area to fend for themselves on parameter streets. Rey's boss Amilyn Holdo lives close by and it's always a safe bet Rey can find parking near her older townhouse just a few blocks away.

Holdo is a brilliant woman with an eye for business that keeps her spa up and coming. She's always making changes, bringing in new services or products and is incredibly open to suggestions made by her staff. Rey was hired straight out of school and can't imagine working anywhere else. As an added bonus Amilyn has a love for BB that enables Rey to take him into work with her. He can usually be found sleeping in the office or curled up on a bed in Rey's treatment space, clients comfort provided of course.

BB has a bow tie he wears when 'on duty' with a vest that says 'Pet me, I'm a therapy dog'. It's one of the ways they're able to swing having him in the building. There were some health and safety regulations but Holdo was quick to find a way around it for the sake of puppy snuggles.

The first thing Rey does when she gets through the door is greet Jannah, their receptionist with a broad grin. The girl's brilliant hair is a dark cloud that falls around her in springy halo of frizzy locks. She has a beautiful full mouth and strong cheekbones with the most wondrous round dark eyes. Jannah has always been quick to smile and has the be one of the most helpful people Rey has ever worked with. "Pulled your files for you Rey," she calls with a bright smile showing off her slightly gaped, too-white teeth.

Rey approaches the tall reception desk, BB in tow walking on his leash which he has to wear for show. The incredible mutt wags his tail as he approaches with a grin setting his head in Jannah's lap. "You're a godsend, you know that?" Rey says as she moves around the desk and kisses their computer wiz extraordinaire on the forehead. They have been trying to go paperless, uploading all their notes and client files onto their own private server. It's convenient but Rey was a creature of habit and likes having her files on hand. It means doing twice the work but the only person she's really bothering is herself. The files need to be kept for several years anyway.

As Rey swings around she takes a peek at her schedule. The day is broken into individuals ordered by way of occupation. The first few are aesthetics, then the next few the massage therapists, finally in a row that amounts the same as both aesthetics and Massage combined is the hairstylists. Services are color-coordinated to keep things neat and concise. Amilyn loves order and Rey finds it unbelievably helpful to always know where people are going to be. Not that it matters much to her, she has a room that she works out of and very rarely ever deviates.

Amilyn's office and the lunchroom are located parallel to one another. Her office door is almost always open particularly when she's around. She likes her staff to feel like they can approach her at any given time. On her way to drop off her lunch and her purse, Rey pops her head in to give a quick hello.

Amilyn Holdo is a tall, thin, powerhouse of a woman. She has incredible blue eyes that offset the marvelous richly colored hair that is often changing. The last two weeks it has been a magnificent shade of mauve. She has a strong pointed nose, well-defined cheekbones and always wears a wild assortment of jewelry. No one can really guess how old their employer is so the answer they often go with is, ageless.

"Rey," Holdo calls with a soft sweet smile, "Enjoy your time off?" she asks kindly as BB makes his approach, resting his head now on Amilyn's well-tailored pants suit lap. Holdo's smile grows as she bathes BB in attention. The dogs large head lolling from side to side as she scratches at his jowls.

"Yeah it was nice, good to get some quiet in but I'm happy to be back to work." she tells her boss cheerily, "I wanted to ask a favor if I could, would you be able to take BB for a bit after I'm off? Or, can he hang out in the office? I have somethings to do after work and I don't think they're dog friendly."

Amilyn raises a well-manicured brow casting a 'do tell' look in Rey's direction. "Snap?" she questions in a mildly gossipy way. She's often teasing Rey for her odd ability to draw in the most interesting and attractive sort. She has always had a particular fancy for Poe. Often teasing him in a strangely flirtatious and sometimes inappropriate manner.

"No," it's hard to hide her agitation but with a soft smile she says, "A friend is taking me out for a bit."

Amilyn Holdo has far too much class to lower herself to Poe and Finn's level of teasing. Instead she gives a look that says more, 'be careful, be smart' then 'what's his shoe size' as she nods in acquiescence. "Sure leave him here, I have some work to do so I'll be here late but if you're not back when I'm done I'll just take him home with me."

"Perfect I'm parked two doors down from you so that will work well. Thank you so much."

Holdo waves off the gesture easily as she rocks back in her chair, folding her hands against her stomach casually, "Did Jannah tell you she was able to fit Leia in?"

Rey is moving towards the lunchroom when she realizes her boss isn't finished with her. But it only takes a second to register the name, Leia before she puts two and two together and realizes what Amilyn is talking about. "From when she had to reschedule a few weeks ago you mean?"

Nodding, Holdo stand, her pantsuit bottoms are black, wide-legged, flowing and now covered in BB hair. They rise up high against her middle where a bright white silk blouse sits tucked in. The neck rises high into an attached scarf which Amilyn has knotted in a loose, floppy bow. She's barefoot Rey quickly realizes, her toes neatly done in a fresh pedicure. "She'd been trying to get in with you for a while now, We had some clients shift around a bit and were able to get Leia in at the end of your day for ninety minutes. Just a heads up because your day is going to look quite different. I had to move your break up a bit to make it work.'

Rey gives a friendly shrug, Amilyn knows Rey has always been flexible with her schedule and in turn Holdo never asks for too much. Quickly Rey deposits her things in her locker and pulls out BB's work bowtie and vest. Trying not to dwell too hard on the fact that her last client is in fact the mother of the man who is coming to pick her up from work.

The main level of the spa is where clients enter and mill about. There is product to look and a lovely seating area behind a door just across from reception. To the back is the hair studio lit by bright open windows overlooking the more rural looking streets. It's bright and open with a sort of modern industrial feeling to it. The colors are done in white and dark chromes with accents of purple and blue. The second floor opens onto a small balcony overlooking the entryway There's a large water cooler, an assortment of glasses, with a dark velvety couch and several armchairs. Beyond the balcony is a wall of frosted glass that looks like ice etched into marble and a door that reads 'treatments in session'

That realm is Rey's home away from home. A hallway with a series of doors lining its corridor. It's brightly lit by several windows at the end that gave a spectacular view of one of the prettiest boulevards in the area. The townhouses are well taken care of and lined with beautiful tall trees. Their leafy greenery affords the wall of privacy while painting a lovely picture of the world beyond. Rey's room is the one to the far end. Its high ceilings are lined with spectacular windows framed in thick black curtains with silver swirls and pearl work embroidered into the bottom. It's large for its purpose, boasting a rustic french settee for client comfort. The worn stylized wood is white with silver embellishments instead of woodgrain. It's plush and cream-colored done in plain cotton with pillows of deep blue to match the navy of her walls. The counters are a white marbled surface decorated with random knickknacks. Gifts from her clients over the years. There's crystallized kyber from Jedha, a statue of the Bendu from Atollon, as well as a wooden carving of a loth-wolf from Lothal to name a few. Of course BB's bed is in the corner near the heater and under a window where he can snooze out of the way.

After depositing her belongings and gathering her files Rey wanders back to the front desk. Jannah, who has just finished dealing with a rather irate client whose appointment was mixed up looks up with a wary smile. "I think I need a drink after work, you fancy a go?" she asks ruefully.

It's hard to hide the grin that spreads like wildfire across her lips but Rey can already feel the blush setting in. "I uh… Can't," she tells her friend as she worries at the side of her bottom lip with her teeth.

Jannah is friends with Finn and while she understands the need for privacy in most matters she doesn't always favor it. She isn't a gossip per say, just overzealous with her knowledge in the kind of friendly way that leads her to speak before she really thinks things through. She has a big heart though and Rey is sure she is positively glowing at this point so there's no real hiding it from her coworker and friend.

"Oh?" Jannah's dark eyes positively glitter with unbridled enthusiasm. She leans forward, elbow resting against the desk as she props her jaw up encouraging Rey to continue.

"I have plans," Rey replies with a confident grin while BB whines, begging to be included in the interaction.

Jannah's eyes quickly divert from Rey's giddy grin to BB's floppy-eared smile as she bolts forward. Her rolling chair clatters against the hardwood floor as her hands ruffle BB's ears and itched down his neck, shoulders and torso in an eager scratching motion. BB, always the attention-whore laps it all up happily as both women laugh "Actually, he's picking me up from work, you here late today?"

"Yeah," Jannah says through vigorous puppy scratches, "Kaydel called in sick again so I'm manning the front until close." When Rey furrows a brow curiously Jannah adds, "Astrid is out of town visiting her family, her mum's sick, like real sick so she can't come in. I think Rose's sister Paige is getting hired though so that'll take some pressure off."

"I hope Kaydel's ok…" Rey muses as Jannah rolled her eyes.

"Look, I love that you give everyone the benefit of the doubt, it's sweet but how many times has she dicked up your day or left me in the lurch?" Ever the pragmatist, Jannah raises her hands in mock defense, "I love the girl I do but she's got to get her life together."

Rey can't argue there, they are too busy and the front desk is their first line of defense. They keep the whole place running. Serving clients and maintaining order through scheduling and a keen eye for detail. Rey helps out where she can but at the end of the day she's pretty content to hide away in her sacred space and do what she knows best.

With a soft squeeze to Jannah's shoulder Rey ascends the stairs and disappears beyond the frosted glass threshold, her files held against her chest. The hallway ahead was blessedly quiet. When she enters her room she does a quick surveying of its contents. Someone has been kind enough to stock her up for the day, her sheets and face covers full and ready. Wondrous Jannah, Rey thinks as BB takes up his mantle on his plush dog bed settling in a huff before he quickly starts to snooze. Rey raises her table and throws her client files down. She organizes, makes notes where its due and gets paperwork ready for that day, dating and signing each treatment form carefully.

When her eyes fell on Leia's file Rey's heartbeat gives a slight jump. With a quick glance to the clock Rey makes note of the time before delving into Leia's file. She pours over notes made on treatments done years in the past. Small things left in margins about life events and other small tidbits of information that may at some point have been pertinent in some way shape or form. She likes to be able to remember things clients have told her so she can inquire about it in the future. With Leia there was an excessive amount of professional information but very little personal. She knows the Senator so well outside of work it's not as hard to remember the extras. Still, there are no notes on a son, nothing mentioned about her worry for his safety or that he was a Marine.

With a deep body stretch, arms reaching wide over her head Rey sets to the task of organizing her day, her thoughts and her paperwork before skipping down the stairs to grab her first client. BB stays with her most to the time, all of her clients are regulars and huge BB fans so he's a welcome addition to the treatment space. He ducks away for a quick bite and some love from Amilyn about midday but is quickly back on his bed in Rey's room snoozing away when it comes time to go and get Leia.

She greets Rey with a warm smile and a hug, the way she often does. She's a woman of small size and mighty stature and her hugs like her handshakes are a damn good reminder of just that. BB rubs up against her legs as she returns the affection with a gentle pat on the head and a sweetly admonishing, "Hello BB," before she turns a kind broad smile on Rey, "I don't know what you did to make this happen but thank you," she says as they make their way back to Rey's treatment space.

Rey has always had a deep fondness for Leia Organa. She's a kind woman with a mischievous smile and a head for politics, unlike anything Rey has seen before. Leia always thinks three steps ahead of everyone else with contingencies in place that make you wonder if she might not be sort of psychic. She welcomes everyone with open arms, always has time for a chat, preferably over a glass of merlot and always, always rises to any challenge placed before her. She is also one giant ball of tension and one of Rey's absolute favorite people.

With Leia on the table they chat amiably about a variety of differing topics. Leia asks after Luke, saying she really has to get a hold of him soon. It's always the same thing with them, they never saw each other, both far too busy in their own lives. It always happens, without fail though, whenever something is a miss and one needs the other, they're there without needing a call. As twins they have this bizarre otherworldly connection that is both amazing and incredibly scary. Rey often wonders if that's what it was like to have a sibling After getting to know Luke and Leia though it became evident that what they shared was something beyond familial bonds.

The conversation drifts to Han and how he misses Rey. There's an invitation to dinner as there always is with Rey promising to stop in soon. Leia asks about 'the boys' meaning Poe and Finn, and then about her love life. She isn't shocked to hear that Snap has ghosted her yet again though she seems quite proud that Rey didn't allow herself to get baited by his foolishness when he sought her forgiveness. Then, Leia says something that almost makes Rey's hands still.

She's pushing her hands down along Leia's spine when the smaller woman says, "I've told you about my son right?"

Rey swoops her palms up against Leia's pelvis rocking it back and forth slightly before pivoting onto her knuckles. She drags the half-formed first along the pelvic crest, flushing away with her other hand as her chest gives a slight flutter. "A few times, nothing major though," Rey says by way of reply, trying to keep her hands steady as she sweeps flushing strokes along and away from the column of spine before her.

Leia exhales harshly, whether from the pressure of Rey's hands or frustration over her son Rey can't be sure. She lightens up as she rounds the scapula anyway, using her fingers to pry in against the bone and the soft muscle that is held it there. She works her fingers back and forth in a steady rhythm as Leia continues, "He's a Marine." she tells Rey as she toys with one of the rings on her left hand. "He was injured, badly too, though I don't think he wants to admit it."

This story is starting to become a radio classic. She isn't sure now how many times she's been told it, maybe four, possibly five. What it really indicates however is the deep web of interconnected drama Rey has firmly settled herself into.

"He's home now, he hasn't been home in… well I can't really remember to be honest," Rey allows Leia to continue, she's curious but doesn't want to ask too many questions. It doesn't seem fair since Leia doesn't know about Rey's connection to Ben and Rey isn't sure whether or not she should say something.

She should right? She owes the woman honesty beyond all else.

Before Leia can continue Rey makes the snap decision. Yes, she has to say something, "Uh, Leia, I'm going to stop you there," Rey says as her rhythm slows and she works against the woman traps with her fingertips in persistent vicious little circles. "I've met Ben."

Lifting her head up quickly, Leia turns it to the side, resting her cheek against the plush headrest. Her face is puffy and lined with creases from the head linens, eyes clouded with the flush of massage but intent all the same, "You've met Ben?" Her voice is clear, unmuffled by the pillow.

"Yeah, my friend Hux. Do you know Armitage Hux?" Rey asks.

Leia makes a noise that tells Rey Leia is more than familiar with her redheaded friend before saying, "Ohhhh yes, Brendol's boy. He's been staying in Ben's place for the past few years."

Rey nods though Leia can't really see, "Hux thought I could help with his headaches."

"They're more than just headaches!" Leia bites out quickly, startling Rey as she shifts to flush down Leia's back with a few more strokes before grabbing for a hot towel. "I'm sorry dear," Leia finally says with a sigh. Rey has the sheets aloft encouraging Leia to roll over onto her back, slide down the table as Rey settles in. She cups the Senator's head in her palm as she rocks it to the side and starts to lightly strip and flush along the cord of muscles exposed at her neck. "Ben was told he has severe neurological damage which they haven't been able to determine the extent of."

"Leia…" Rey begins softly, "I don't know that…"

Quickly Leia stops her, "No, he won't tell you these things. I'm telling you this as my friend and if nothing else as my therapist."

"Massage therapist," Rey corrects.

Leia smiles, "My dear one, I don't want him making you think you can fix him. Lord knows I know you'll try."

And she would. It's easy to forget when the roles are reversed how well Leia knows the truths of Rey's soul. She's known Rey longer than most people have and has loved her like a daughter from the very beginning. "He's a kind man…" Rey says finally, hoping to ease Leia's mounting anxiety.

"Well for that I'm glad, he hasn't always been that way." Allowing her head to be moved from side to side, Leia falls into a stunted sort of silence. Her eyes are open though, Rey notices and hold the look of a woman deep in thought. When Rey returns her head to midline, digging her fingertips into the suboccipital region of Leia's head, she looks up, brown eyes lined with concern and something else. Something slightly unreadable. Whether from the angle or the intent, Rey can't tell, "Be careful with him." She speaks quickly yet earnestly, "I want to believe he's changed, I do. I want to believe he is the good man I know he can be but there's a lot of water under that bridge. He was in the dark for a long time. I won't say more than that."

Can Leia see the budding affection Rey harbors for her son or is this a casual warning?

So far Poe has alluded to some rather nefarious life choices littering Ben's past and now Leia is warning her too. For a mother to say such things about her own son… Rey stills, her chest growing heavy and the joy melting from her face for only a millisecond before she schools herself into cheerful neutrality.

The shift in the energy of the room however is palpable, "You've more then met Ben then…?" she asks softly, no accusation but a hedge of concern lining her words.

Rey stretches out Leia's neck focusing on the pull of the muscles more than the words being spoken. She looks off to the floor as she feels along the lines of tension angling the head in just a way to get an optimal stretch. After she repeats the same on the other side she rolls her work chair back and shifts so that her foot catches the tables peddle. As the table jitters and lowers itself Leia sits up quickly. One hand clutched at the sheets while the other reaches out to grab Rey's, "Rey…" she urges, "Are you seeing my son?"

The words sound funny. There's wistful hope, blossoming into intense fear and curious unknown fluctuating beneath her skin. What she wants becomes swallowed by a fear of what could truthfully be and what is expected of her. She can't tell if Leia would be upset if the answer she gives is yes even though she knows the truth of it to be no, or maybe more accurately she doesn't know him well enough.

Instead she gives Leia's hand a soft squeeze, fixing the older woman's stare with a kind smile and soft eyes, "I've only met him the once," she says truthfully. Sure she's thought about him more then it was maybe right for one sane person to think about someone they barely know. That had to be hormones and a chemical response she tells herself, like the feeling eating chocolate gives you. Ben is like a big delicious bar of chocolate. Nothing more. "He came to my house, I treated him the same as I would any of my friends. He did catch me in a bad moment, Snap had just stood me up so I offered him supper. Honestly, that's all. The super was already made so really there was nothing to that."

She quickly finds herself being pulled against the massage table, her hip colliding with the surface as Leia encourages her to sit. The smaller woman, incredibly comfortable with herself and her relationship with Rey tucks the sheets under her arms and moves to hold Rey'shand within her own. "I love my son," she says with a certainty that brokers no argument but Rey can feel the 'but' coming like a busted freight train running into the station, "But," and there it is, "I love you too and I need you to be safe."

Rey starts to argue when Leia releases her hands and moves to tuck a strand of hair back and off Rey's face, "Rey," she urges, "Ben has made choices in his life that he will be haunted by for the rest of his life. He escaped into the Marines and if I'm being totally honest I don't know the man he is today." There is a sigh, a soft puff of air as Leia blows a strand of hair off her cheek. Rey smiles, " I want him to be a good man but don't let his baggage become yours."

On a split second impulse Rey throws her arms around her friend, crushing herself against Leia's chest, tucking her chin against her shoulder. "We all struggle with darkness," she says softly, knowingly. "I'll be careful but I want to know him…" she isn't sure whether she's admitting it to Leia or herself, but when the words meet the air, a fear clutches at Rey's throat stilling her words. "We'll do dinner soon, talk properly?"

As she pulls back Leia takes Rey's face in her hands, pressing her forehead against the youths. They hold the position for some time before Leia rocks back and places a kiss to Rey's brow in a soft, intimate, and incredibly motherly sort of way. "You have so much good in you," Leia says softly as she lets Rey back away.

With a hasty glance at the clock Rey realizes how late she's now running. She beckons BB to her side as she turns towards the door readying her exit before she stills and turns back slowly on her heel. "He's downstairs now," she says almost shyly. Her hand on the doorknob giving a quick turn and she's gone, leaving Leia to sit in stunned silence.

After getting herself washed off, arms clear of lotion and skin cells Rey moves towards the door at the end of the hallway. Her feet carry her a little quicker then those of someone who was simply going out with a friend, her cheeks flushed with anticipation. BB canters at her side rushing over to Jannah who is giving Rey a look of distinct approval.

"Ok, Where, how, when?" she asks all with a broadening grin.

"He in the tranquility space?" Rey questions hopefully, flushing her hands down against her shirt subconsciously. She worries at the hem a little before looking down along her own body, then to Jannah.

"You tart! You look marvelous." Jannah cries, petting BB's head softly, her fingers trailing along the bridge of his nose, between his eyes and back. His big brown eyes shut against her ministrations relaxing into her touch happily.

Rey shoots a quick look up the stairs making sure that Leia wasn't within earshot of her teenage preening, "I brought an extra shirt, should I change?" Rey had put on a nicer pair of yoga pants today, stitched together in random panels of black stretchy fabric and stretchy patterned lace. She wore all black, easier to hide offending oil stains that way should she get any on her clothing. Her shirt is long and black with short capped sleeves and a boatneck neckline.

"You're fine," Jannah assures her before Rey turns quickly.

"I'm going to change, BB, stay." she nearly panics and spirits away towards their lunchroom. Amilyn, who is in her office calls to her as she jogs passed but Rey is a woman on a mission. "One minute!" she calls out slipping into their staff chambers. She quickly strips her shirt off leaving a plain thin-strapped tank underneath. She throws the apparel into her locker and starts to dig through her bag for the piece she'd selected specifically for this outing. It isn't fancy, but it's not, not fancy either. More importantly it isn't black. The sweater was a marbled knit of forest green and creams. It's cropped short so that it falls just to her hips but opened across the neckline in a sweeping off the shoulder v-lined boatneck. It's long-sleeved too which she couldn't have worn to work if she'd wanted to. It's also decidedly very comfortable and not too over the top. She checks herself once in the mirror hanging on the inside of Jannah's locker spritzing herself with a soft fragrant lilac and vanilla body spray. As she adjusts her hair, eyeing a few strands warningly she feels a faint tug around her middle.

Not like a pull on a limb, more of a knowing and she soon realizes what her subconscious was reminding her of. Quickly, shutting the lockers with a little more force than intended Rey bolts out the door, trying to school her features as best she can. She was worried she'd find herself face to face with something possibly a little confrontational. Instead Amilyn and Leia are talking animatedly at the front desk while Jannah continues to pet BB's head, scratching behind the dog's ears as he rests his cheek against her pant leg.

All three women turn to look at her as she stills and then walks slowly towards them. Leia, much shorter then Holdo smiles at Rey fondly, Holdo, however, looks rather curious. Jannah, she just looks smug, like the cat that got the cream.

"You look nice," Amilyn tells Rey with a cock of her head.

"She has a date," Jannah chimes childishly. Leia has her back to the receptionist so Jannah can't see the slight widening of those knowing dark brown eyes but Rey catches it. Oh boy does Rey catch it. Along with the way Leia's smile is guarded just slightly.

Holdo crosses her arms against her chest as the pair of old friends level Rey with matching looks of inquisitive curiosity. It's BB who stirs, moving towards the door of the tranquility lounge and pulling Rey's attention away from the mental interrogation. Before the gentle giant can reach his oddly chosen destination however, the door draws open slowly and the tall form of Ben Solo steps out.

Rey's world turns on its axis as her employer and friend looks from Ben to Leia, then settled on Rey with a wide-eyed questioning stare. "Well…" she says with a tone of professionalism one usually fakes, "Good to see you Leia, uh Rey. Just text me? BB will be fine is his leash?" she's nodding towards the staffroom but her eyes betray her curiosity as she looks over the tall dark-haired figure that she obviously knows to be her dearest and oldest friend's son.

"Yeah, his bowls, food, leash and all that are in the black Corellian sports bag," Rey says softly, giving Amilyn a soft smile as the taller woman excuses herself politely.

Jannah, oblivious to the magnitude of the situation, watches with rapt fascination. BB wagging his tail madly upon approach runs his head into Ben's knees in an attempt to earn affection. Rey watches as Leia and Ben stare at each other a moment, the air thick and crackling with unease and tension.

Without though Ben bends and scratched at BB's head, large hands combing fingers down and through the pooches thick neck fur. "Hey buddy," he says happily affording the canine with a small but genuine smile. When he looks up again, Leia and Jannah are both watching him intently while Rey wants to slowly disappear.

"Mom…" Ben finally says slowly, leaving Jannah in a state of shocked silence. Leia looks like she might cry while Rey isn't entirely sure it was in fact outside the realm of possibility at this point but still she keeps quiet. Silence falls, as the voice of Halsey's 'Beautiful Stranger', drifts amongst them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been rewriting this from Fanfiction, changing the tense around and trying to make corrections as I go so hopefully this isn't too choppy or hard to follow. xox

When Rey was sixteen she worked her first real shift at Falcon Industries. She'd fallen in love with the place at once. It was busy and loud and the people were always on the move. The owner, one Mr. Han Solo who hated when people called him Mr. Solo was a gruff man with a hard exterior and a mischievous glint in his eye. She wasn't sure how she felt about him at first, he was explosive and sarcastic and soon she came to find out, one of the kindest people she would ever meet. Aside from his wife, but that was a lesson learned later.

After a few months as the weekend and afternoon receptionist Rey had gotten a feel for the regulars, the delivery guys, and the general flow of the workplace environment. Then one day, there was nothing. Han had told her that it happened from time to time when there were labor disputes in Corellia. Poe and his team had been working on a particularly large project, a YT class 1300f light freighter. Han had acquired it through means he avoided discussing and they were waiting on parts to kick start the engine. With a large plane like that in the hanger, it as hard to fit much else and the rest of the boys had finished up the bevy of oil changes and engine block repairs that had been on the docket for the day. It was at the point there wasn't enough time left to start anything new so Han decided a good ole fashion game of cards was in order. His office was near the front, he liked to know what was going on so he piled the few remaining workers in and set to a friendly game of Sabaac. Rey just watched at first, picking up the subtleties of the game as cards were drawn and bets were made. Rey was behind Han, sitting on his desk watching him as he schooled his employees.

It was in that moment that she learned the art of a good bluff. Han had a poker face like Rey had never seen before, he was cool, collected, and incredibly good at hiding his hand. She was utterly fascinated by the tactics of the game but even more so by the ruthless and genuine way in which Han drew and dealt. He was confident in a way that had people backing down even when his hand was filled with piss poor cards. Years of experience she supposed but still, he was masterful at it.

Today Rey is learning that Han Solo has nothing on his wife. Leia is the picture of calm and effortless cool. Her eyes are soft and still as they take Ben in. Rey can't help but wonder if Ben is any different now from when his mother saw him last. If his looks have changed at all, maybe he holds himself a little differently. It's impossible to wrap her head around the enormity of the situation.

All she does is smile like one does when someone tells you that your hair looks nice or that they like your pants. It isn't stiff or unfriendly but there's something about it that doesn't quite meet her eyes. Leia is still, her posture easy as Ben stands stiff as a broad pinned beneath his mothers stare looking panic-stricken and confused. He clearly hasn't mastered the art of the Solo bluff.

"Hello, Ben," Leia's voice is filled with even sweetness. Her words followed an awkward moment where she extends her hand but Ben moves forwards as if to embrace her. There's some adjusting and a few more awkward gestures before Leia seems to settle on a hug being the better of all the options. Rey watches as Leia's arms wind around her son, the motion stiff but warm as an invisible line of tension seems to dissipate. Her arms sag as though relieved from a great burden. While Ben simply looks lost. His arms around her in a half-formed hug as he towers over her. It's like watching extended family meet over the holidays. The ones you really should call more or make more of an effort with beyond maybe sending a card. It is nothing like what Rey imaged a mother-son reunion should look like at all. Still, Leia holds on a little longer and just Ben allows it to happen.

"You look good," she says as she shifts back a breath allowing a comfortable amount of space to lapse between them, "Have you been well?"

Ben nods as if he's not sure what else he's meant to do, too busy looking back and forth between Rey and Leia, "Yeah, well enough," there's a casual but hesitant tone in his voice clearly denoting his desire not to delve into anything too personal here in this very public setting, "And you?"

Laughing, Leia tosses her shoulders, "You know me, always busy."

There's a soft scoffing noise that does not go unnoticed by anyone but Leia chooses not to respond. Rey however is entirely too curious. He's watching her carefully, his eyes dark and curious but there's something else there too, a wonder and a betrayal that doesn't seem to make sense to her.

Does Ben think she betrayed him somehow?

"You know Rey…" He says finally, not a question so much as a loaded statement and a demand for answers.

"For quite some time, yes," Good ole Leia, never one to beat around the bush. Right to the point leaving Rey struggling to find something to say. Some way of explaining that she didn't trick him into this, that she had no idea the relation between him and Leia and how could she? Their family was so filled with these strange family connections it would take Christopher Columbus to navigate these waters. Thankfully Leia barrels forward, "She worked for your father for some time years ago, when she decided to go into massage we became clients. Me more frequently than your father. I honestly only just now discovered you two know each other."

"You never told me your last name," Rey offers weakly and suddenly Ben is looking very Sheepish. He seems to lower his heckles some enough to smile a little at her in a way that has Rey mentally tracing the lines of his mouth carefully, trying obsessively to memorize his grin.

The awkward silence that follows it poignant, followed by the sound of Jannah checking a spa guest out, "So, what are you kids up to tonight?" Rey can't really blame Leia for wanting to keep the conversation going, no matter how awkward it might be. No matter what may have happened in their family Ben is still her son and Leia's capacity for love is nothing but awe-inspiring. She and Han had taken Rey into their home the minute they had the faintest inkling about Rey's home life. They were as good as family to her but Ben was flesh and blood and those bonds were always something Rey imagined to be unquantifiable.

The attention has Ben shifting uncomfortably so Rey decides to take the reins, "Ben's taking me out on his bike."

While Rey was excited about the prospect, Leia seems anything but. Her eyes wide beneath her tinted glasses as she looks from Ben to Rey and then back to Ben again, "Not the Ducati," Ben offers with a sternness that makes Rey jump.

A soft smile lingers but there's still something that feels a little like apprehension stuck in the air like a bad smell. "You still have that bike?"

It's quickly evident that Ben would rather be anywhere else but having this conversation. He'd been so excited to tell Rey about his motorcycle the night before. It was endearing to hear him brag about how much work he'd put into it or how often he got out on. Now, with his mother asking the questions it seems more like something Ben wants to avoid. He almost looks sick, "Yeah, I've done a lot of work to it. She was my first." Like he's talking about an old girlfriend he misses, Ben allows a fond smile to slip.

"What are you taking her out on?"

As though unsure whether he should answer or not, like he might be walking into a tramp Ben peers at his mother apprehensively, "I picked up and older BMW a while back, rebuilt her engine. She's an easy ride with some kick but it's a better touring bike then the Ducati."

Whether the look of relief ghosting Leia's features is for Ben's benefit or her own Rey isn't sure but Leia seems more at ease now "Do you have dinner plans?" Oh… that's why.

Almost as though he knew it was coming, Ben's lips form a sharp line, "That was our plan, yes." His words slow and apprehensive. Leia however is always two steps ahead, even it seems when dealing with her son. She's the type of woman you have to be careful with because without realizing it Leia can have you committing your entire weekend to helping a fundraiser you didn't even know existed. Ben thankfully seems very aware of this.

Right he grew up with her after all.

"Where were you planning on going?"

It hadn't really been discussed Rey realizes, "We… hadn't gotten that far."

Apparently, Ben has already thought it through, "I was thinking maybe the Moons of Endor," he says almost shyly as Leia's look of calm appraisal turns to one of impressed shock. It seems she's as surprised to hear of these plans as Rey is. The Moons of Endor is less of a 'let's grab a bite to eat place' and more of a 'I'm trying to impress' you sort of place. It's new and fancy and a definite date destination.

"Do you have a reservation?"

Ben obviously hadn't thought of that part though, "No…" he almost sounds like he's afraid of what's about to come out of his mother's mouth next.

Now, Leia is a great many things, she's a manipulator for sure, maybe even a little bossy if the mood strikes her. She's kind and loving and sweet and amazing too but Leia is also an opportunist. So it should come to no surprise that her sad smile doesn't quite look that sad as she says, "You'll never get in without a reservation. It's their anniversary, Vesper is going all out on the menu," of course, Leia would be on a first-name basis with the chef, "Why not come home and have dinner with us tonight, Mairem is cooking."

This seems to be exactly what Ben was hoping to avoid. He looks tired as he turns his attention on Rey offering her a small smile, "Whatever you want to do, I'm ok with," Rey finds herself offering. This isn't a decision she wants to make.

It isn't a decision Ben seems to want to make either as he passes a few moments idly scratching the back of BB's head. "Yeah… Yeah if Rey's ok with it."

Leia's grin is bright, as it should be after things clearly played out in her favor, "Marvellous!" Her approach to Ben is quick as she places a hand on his arm allowing it a gentle squeeze, "You two have fun and we'll see you later. I'll tell Mairem to plan for a later supper." And with that Leia is off towards the closet to grab her coat batting Jannah away as she raises to her feet to help, "Sit down, I can get my own damn jacket," she quips with a smile, "You've been run off your feet, just relax,"

At this point Rey isn't sure what exactly it is she's supposed to say or do so she just stands watching. Leia and Ben are standing close now, almost side by side as Leia fiddles with the collar of her coat. Side by side like this it's a little easier to pick out the things the two have in common. Their eyes are the same color, the sweet sparkle of warm whiskey. Ben has Leia's mouth too, broad and full and Rey is willing to bet just as saucy. His nose is definitely from Han, that much is clear as well as the shape of his eyes and the obvious height. His coloring he gets from his mother through, he's as dark and beautiful as she is. Seeing all this now, Rey mentally admonishes herself for not picking up on it before. She's so lost in her observation she doesn't even realize that Leia is speaking to her.

How about I take BB home with me so he can Chewie can play a bit and you guys can just come out whenever you want?" True to form Leia doesn't even give Rey an opportunity to respond before she's disappearing off down the hallway towards Amilyn's office. With a soft click she's is gone leaving Rey both very confused and incredibly frazzled. It's hard to tell how Ben is feeling about the whole thing, as he brushes his hair back and off his face. It seems thicker then it did the other night, maybe a little more wavy and full of body. The kind of hair Rey wouldn't mind running her fingers through…

No.. no. Bad Rey

There's a soft steady sigh as Ben casts her a sad smile, "I'm so sorry," it's more of a matter of fact admission, "This was not how I wanted our evening to go."

Someone calls BB's name from down the hallway and the large oaf shifts off Ben's feet and trudges away, his thick tail swinging lazily behind him. "It's ok, really." She says as she watches BB disappear into Amilyn's office. She's trying to comfort him but it's coming across as more of a defeated acceptance, "Your parents are fine, I've eaten there plenty of times. I just feel bad that you were put on the spot like that."

Ben's shrug is casual and his laugh light, "It's fine, I would have ended up over there eventually. This way at least I won't be thrown to the wolves alone. You'll save me right?" For a moment it almost seems like he might be flirting with her, his mouth pulled into a smirk that seemed to promise trouble of the best kind, "Not exactly the best way to get to know someone though…"

There's a twinge of something that tightens in Rey's chest under Ben's admission. A flurry of excitement and joy and something a little deeper. He wants to get to know her. It's both exhilarating and terrifying all at once. There's no more talk of her treating him for which she is incredibly grateful. Now however it appears there are more complicated reasons as to why getting to know him more intimately might ultimately be a bad idea. Even though he has no interest in being a client, she can't date Han and Leia's son. The way he's looking at her right now however is making her think otherwise. He has her pinned beneath those marbled orbs of startling hazel. Flustering her to the point that she's completely lost on what it is she's supposed to say or do. Again.

"Well I'm ready if you are," trying to push the conversation forward she points a thumb back towards the staffroom, "I just need to get my purse and I'm good.

"Do you have a jacket?" he asks while raking his eyes over her body with deliberate and toe-curling slowness.

"I do not."

After thinking a moment Ben disappears into the tranquility lounge only to emerge with a pair of bike helmets in hand. "Let's do this."

Grabbing her purse and waving to Jannah who mouths 'good luck' to her she follows Ben out and onto the street. The evening sky is still bright and beautiful, a pleasant assortment of blues and mottled oranges. The autumn air picks up around her causing her to shiver beneath its brisk touch.

They find themselves next to a black sports bike decorated in deep red paneling and clean chrome exhaust. "You park close to here?" he asks absently eyeing her purse as he hands her a helmet. It's white unlike his black one and a little smaller to boot. Rey finds herself wondering if Ben is in the habit of taking girls out on his bike a lot.

"Few blocks, why?"

Grinning Ben sets his helmet on the tail end of his seat letting it rock there awkwardly. Ever the gentleman it seems he's soon out of his leather jacket, wrapping it around Rey's shoulders snuggly, "You should leave your purse in your car, there's not much storage on this thing. Maybe enough space for keys, a phone if you're lucky." His jacket is thick and heavy and warm, so very very warm. Handing him the spare helmet back Rey slides her arms into the smooth leather and snuggles it close. It smells like spiced sandalwood and bergamot and something that's just a little on the sweet side. It's like being wrapped in a hug, comforting and oh so large on her small body.

"What about you?" She asks as she zips the coat up until it stops beneath her chin. It has a high neck which swallows the bottom half of her face ridiculously. She can't help but rub her nose against it softly. Taking the helmet back she eyes Ben wearily. His grey thick knit henley and black undershirt surely won't be enough for the open road. Maybe warmer than her off the shoulder sweater but not by much, "Won't you be cold?

Ben chuckles as he offers her a casual shrug, "I run warm anyway," he tells her with a coy grin before he sets to the task of helping her with her helmet. His large hands cover hers as he helps her ease it over her head. It's snug and smells new like she's the first person to ever wear it. That answers that question. Ben flicks up the visor, his dark eyes like molten earth beneath the glare of the sun. "You ok in there?" he asks with a smile as he stoops some to catch her gaze. Her cheeks feel squished and it's kind of what she imagines a human bobblehead might feel like but she gives him a thumbs up all the same.

From that point on his movements are quick and sure. Pulling on his own helmet he straddles the metal beast to hold it steady. Once he has himself situated he holds out a hand for her so she can slide on the back with little issue. Perched on the small back seat Rey now realizes that there is very little space to be had on a machine like this. Her hips are rolled forward so that her front lies flush against his back with only her purse separating them. He wasn't kidding about the issue of space, her purse definitely needs to go.

As the engine roars to life he asks over the low hum what street she's parked on, his voice barely a rumble over the motorcycles growling heartbeat. After getting a loose idea Ben kicks off with a request that she 'hold on tight'. He takes it slow at first, winding his way through the streets and the pre supper traffic with care. The motorists of Coruscant loathe bikes of every kind so it's not entirely surprising that their presence is met with some hostility. Cars keep pressed together as though worried these motorcycle hooligans might weave their way through.

After depositing her purse, locking her doors and zipping her phone away in the pocket of Ben's coat Rey resumes her position at his back. His body is warm even through the leather as she presses her chest tight against him, winding her arms around his torso like a koala. He mumbles something that sounds like 'ready?' before he kicks off and they head towards more open roads.

The feel of being so exposed and free against the air is terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time. It sweeps passed them as they pull out of the city making Rey cling just a little tighter both for security and warmth. Ben's body is all hard muscle lined with a little bit of squish beneath her hands. Solid and comforting as his muscles contract and move leading the bite into its turns. He keeps it even and steady as they make their way into the Middle Rim away from the towering buildings of the city behind. The structures become smaller here and more evenly spread out, less business-like and homier until all that lies before them is a rural utopia of homes with large front yards and space to roam.

She knows Han and Leia live at the bottom of the mountain near Norton Lake. The lake itself is a large body of water which is fed from the rivers and streams that trail off Kyber mountain, where Rey lives and the larger mountains behind. The area marks Coruscant's outer boundaries and separates Coruscant from Naboo which lies just along the other side of the twin peeks behind Kyber. Kyber is less of a mountain and more of a steep hill really. It's a rise that sits in front of the larger of the two mountains the locals fondly refer to as the Lovers. The lovers, technically known as Anakin and Amidala were named after a local legend and stand as silent sentinels guarding over their valley below.

Naboo was one of those places that Rey always dreamed of going. She had always been told it was beautiful and full of more greenery then there was in all of Coruscant. It's hard to imagine really, having grown up in Jakku filled with junkyards and barren land good for nothing but growing wheat. Coruscant was a paradise compared to the drudgery she left behind. When she thinks about Naboo, which she does sometimes, she sees it as a glowing emerald of green with no towers and skyscrapers just farmland and peace. She'll get there someday Rey's always promised herself it's just a matter of time.

The thought is fleeting, swallowed up by the vibration of the bike beneath her. It's a slow rumbling hum and the steady beating of Ben's heart beneath her touch are nearly dizzying. The bike slows as they come to a stop sign near the edge of CoCo Valley nestled just along the edge of the Middle Rim. It's a small town that lines Coruscant's hillside and a quick stop for anyone not wanting to go into the city proper for supplies. Ben lets his feet hit the ground as he turns his head over his shoulder flipping up his visor. She can see his dark eyes as they peer back at her and see his cheeks moving, "Ready to pick up some speed?" he seems to be asking.

With a quick nod she tightens her grasp.

When he kicks his feet up and pulls away the bike moves smoothly, adjusting to his demands. Rey's grateful he doesn't just carelessly open up the engine and let it go. He's careful and easy allowing the bike to pick up speed gradually as he moves them away from the city and into a more secluded area. The bike is a marvel, she can see why he's so fond of it. As they hit the open road with great enthusiasm Rey closes her eyes and allows herself to feel the bike through Ben. She can feel his muscles contract beneath her hands and the bike responding in kind. When Ben leans just a little the bike sweeps smoothly to the side as he uses both the steering and his body to give it direction.

Taking a wide turn carefully he accelerates at the end of the arc, hitting the open road with a burst of speed. She can feel the wild hum of the engine as it greedily feeds off the gas, opening itself up in a wild panic. Like a horse set free from its paddock the bike seems to revel in the feeling of freedom. The bike... or its rider. Ben's wrists torque as he shifts gears and the engine kicks up a notch. The wind whipping passed them, groping at the leather of Ben's jacket as the bike carries them on.

It's surreal to watch the countryside unfold with no barrier but that of her visor, He takes them down through the Lake Country to where his parents live but then continues passed their turn. The grassy knolls open into orchards heavy with hanging fruit along the base of the mountain. The air is cool and sweet, a lovely contrast to the body beneath her fingers. He wasn't kidding when he told her he ran warm. His stomach and chest are like a small furnace beneath her hands. She loves the way he feels, calm and steady as the bike eats up the road beneath it.

As the metal beast begins to slow Ben shifts gears again turning them onto a forested road. The trees are tall and old, their trunks several feet thick in some areas reaching high up into the sky. She's never seen anything like them before, she's never been this way before, so close to home and yet hidden away. Hidden by Anakin she realizes as she peers out beyond. The large cliffside at their right rises high in the distance as Ben takes one turn and then another zigging and zagging his way through paved roads winding through the trees. Rey almost wants him to slow down so she can take it all in but his chest rumbles and she realizes he's talking to her. "Not much further," it sounds like he says, his voice eaten up by the buzz of the world around them.

It's all she can do to nod and watch as the landscape shifts from brilliant greens to deep reds and browns. The bark of the trees is old and marred. Flaking off in giant pieces in some places littering the floor with their skin. The ground below littered with scraps of red and brown but lush and green with vegetation beneath. Mossy grass and small purple and blue flowers littler the ground between the giant redwoods. While smaller fur trees and thin birch glittering and gold in the light of the falling sun try to survive between the mighty sequoias. As their path continues the road opens again into more large trees spread further apart and a cliffside that juts out towards them. Over the roar of the engine Rey can just barely make out a loud rumbling that she has to strain her ears carefully to pick up. It's deep and fast as the river comes into view at the edge of the mountain. The road follows the water along to where the Norton comes into view on the other side. There's little space between Anakin and the Lake, the road and accompanying flat no wider than a boulevard lined with houses. There are tall trees growing out of the mountainside, arching towards the sky at odd angles as their leafy tops now beautiful shades of orange and yellow fight for sunlight.

The bike is slowing again, the engine a low purr now. Everything is hushed and still and yet all Rey can hear filling her head is that same wild roaring. Ben brings them to a stop after a few minutes, dropping his feet to the ground in one smooth motion. He's pulling his helmet off, his hair falling heavy around his face. As he slips from the bike he holds his hand out for Rey to follow. It's harder on shorter legs but she uses him for balance and they find themselves standing in a small paved clearing. The trees around them are larger then she realized causing her to crane her neck in order to stare up into the sky where their tops blot out the blue.

"They're incredible," Rey mutters to herself as she pulls her helmet off, holding it to her chest as she closes her eyes and takes in the soft hum of the world around her.

"That's nothing, just wait," Ben's voice is filled with childlike wonder as he grabs her hand, tossing her helmet carelessly onto the bike with his own before he tugs her after him. The world is a mass of motion and rumbling glory as Ben's feet carry them down a dirt path leading not into the trees but through a tree. It's the largest living thing Rey has ever seen before. The tunnel carved from its center is wide enough for a camper van to drive through with several feet of trunk left on either side.

Ben only gives her a minute to appreciate it's glory before he pulls her inside and the rumbling sound grows hallow, almost far away. It's dark inside, shadows slipping across the ground as the tree's core swallows up the light. It's like being in a cave, or what she imagines being in a cave might feel like. Cool and quiet, a part of the world and yet separate. Ben seems eager to continue but she pulls her hand from his for a moment to approach the walls of the tunnel. Her palms press against the wooden surface surprising her when she finds it smooth, not splintery like she expected. The tree sings with life vibrating beneath her hands as she turns her face and presses her cheek against its inner body. All around her, the vibrations, the rumbling, the soft sound of Ben's breath as he stands unbearably close, it radiates into the world around her like a song. A song she can feel sung through the very core of her being. Closing her eyes she inhales softly, the scent of the sequoia and its ageless beauty imprinted in her memory. The tree creaks and groans beneath her hands adding a new voice to the melody as the hushed rumbling calls to her loudly.

It's all he can do to watch her a moment, the sunlight from the outside creeping in around his feet. When he reaches for her, she can almost feel his hand shaking as his fingers wind into hers, "Come on," his voice falls almost in a whisper, "You don't want to miss this," and with gentle encouragement, he pulls her away from the tree.

She follows along in a state of perpetual awe. It's like venturing through a portal only to come out in a world that looks similar to your own but subtly more beautiful. The world around them is tall outcroppings of craggy rocks and enormous wooden giants. The trees on this side of the world are sparse to make room for the body of water and the source of the deep rushing roar. The ground beneath her feet is well worn, traveled and used with pathways that spread out like a spiderweb around them, some disappearing into the woods while others lead down towards the water's edge. The body of water before them isn't large necessarily, just a small lake fed by several thin waterfalls. The water above them spilling out like angel hair down and over the cliffside lining a larger flow of liquid at its center. This is the source of the rumble, this large outpouring of water that tumbles to the earth in thick gushing streams of dark liquid that hammers into the pool below. The water ripples heavily beneath the impact leaving the surface oddly placid closer to the lakeside. As she arches her neck to take in the full extent of the beauty before her she notices trees that line the mouth of the falls. Not tall redwoods but small trees that peek out from the cracks in the rock as though the land above is flat and full of life.

Still, Ben pulls at her hand, "Not yet," he's almost giddy now as she tumbles after him. Leaving the waterfall he draws her forward until they come to the open expanse of the Norton spread wide in her vast and every changing glory. Trees line the banks to the far east as the mountain before them climbs higher and higher. There's a sheer drop down into the hard and jagged mountainside, the heavy rumble dissipating at their backs as their feet carry them slowly away from the falls. Ben's palm feels warm against hers, his fingers holding tight as he keeps looking over his shoulder. Still they walk, following a path that leads them along the water's edge. When he finally stops, Rey takes a moment to peek around them. They're standing on the edge of an embankment, the cliffside across from their rising high above as far as the eye can see. The light from the setting sun has washed the lake in a warm ember flow but the cliffside is darkening beneath the sun's sleepy rays.

The whole world is alight with glowing pinks and oranges but then Rey sees it. She has to turn some but it's there, behind a wall of rock that juts out from the rocky mountain. It's cocooned in a small hallow, glittering like molten gold as it pours from the cliff high above. It takes a moment to fully realize what it is she's looking at. At first it's almost volcanic, then biblical. A waterfall of light spilling from the unknown down into the Norton at its feet. It pours off the rock trailing down in a river or iridescent orange that is almost too beautiful to be real.

"That." Ben's breath is at her ear as he bends forward to make sure her eyes catch the full glory of what's sitting in front of them. His body is so close she can feel the heat of him radiating like the sun as his hip bumps into her backside. Tentative, almost shy Ben's hand finds her shoulder, his palm warm as he closes the space between them

"What is it?" it can't possibly be real, water cannot look like that.

Ben's voice is soft and so very close as though he's speaking into her ear as he explains, "When ice melts at the top of the Lovers, it comes down and feeds into the Norton. For whatever reason at certain points in the year the sun seems to catch this area just right and this happens.

Taking a step forward, Rey leaves the warmth of his embrace, her head cocked to the side as she tries desperately to take it all in, "It looks like angels tears," she says distantly. Though without realizing it her steps have taken her to the edge of the river bank. The ground gives way a little, her feet slipping as the world around her tumbles backward. Her backside hits the muddy earth and she slides down unceremoniously just barely missing the water's edge. Ben is at her side in an instant helping her to stand, a hand at her elbow to hold her steady.

She can tell he's trying not to laugh when he asks, "You ok?" as he lightly dusts the muck of her bottom. The ground beneath her feet is slippery making her cling to Ben all the tighter before she loses balance again.

"Well I feel stupid," she mutters softly but Ben is helping her back up the embankment and his arms are around her as though he's afraid she might fall again. Instead they sit in the grass and allow their feet to hang over the muddy ledge. Her black converse are now caked in mud which streaks up and along her dark leggings. "I've never seen anything like that before."

Sitting down as with standing, Ben towers over her. He's broad and dark against the setting sun and when she looks up at him he's looking back at her, not at the falls. As though he's seen it a million times before. Maybe he has but it's not a sight Rey thinks she could ever tire of.

His eyes are intense but soft making her blush. She isn't sure what to say or do but his wide-eyed grin makes her feel incredibly comfortable all the same. He's smiling at her in a way she's unaccustomed to, looking at her and only her with a level of intense scrutiny that might be uncomfortable if it wasn't incredibly warm and sweet. "I'm glad you like it," he says softly, his smile showing off pointed canines and teeth that are just slightly imperfect.

"This place is incredible," she breathes out softly, looking from the distant falls and then back to Ben. At that moment she's not entirely sure which sight is more perfect. She's desperate to take it all in, the smell, the sound, the feel of his body pressed hard along her side. The world around them erupting with life and glorious, rapturous song. "Are we at the base of the mountains?"

Ben nods, his attention drawn back to the rocks and the way the wall carries itself along before disappearing and reappearing in the distance. It's faint but she can see it when he points it out to her, the world between two worlds, "Down there, that's the gap, in the spring you can canoe between them."

She's never heard anything so amazing before, "Have you done it?" she asks wide-eyed. Her mind filled with massing questions. How wide is it? How far can you get? Is it dangerous?

"Couple of times now," Ben confirms, "It's amazing, if I'm around in the spring I'll show you if you'd like."

She was about to ask why he wouldn't be around but quickly remembers his one life goal. The whole reason they had been introduced in the first place. The idea that Ben intends to go back to a job where the potential for danger is so high makes her heart sink a little. Her chest feels heavy and sad at the prospect of losing this opportunity, this closeness that he seems all too willing to provide. It makes her feel a little hollow to think she's been given this gift and she might lose it so quickly.

Lose the opportunity for his friendship… his friendship because that's what they are, that's what they'll be is friends. But, when he smiles at her like that, like he is right now, it's hard not to hope that they might someday be a little more than that. "I'd love that," she tells him in earnest before looking back to the shimmering falls before them.

They sit there for ages, watching the water in all its lustrous glory. When the world around them darkens, lit only by the rising moon and the slow setting sun. Dusk it turns out is the best time to view the falls. Their surroundings glow in an ethereal blue, the rocks disappearing, swallowed up by the darkness and still the falls paint the cliffside in an opulent shade of oranges and yellows. It shimmers as the world grows dark around them. In the end Rey doesn't know how long they sit there, swallowed by the silence like a friendly hug. His breathing is even as he sits with one leg bent so the heel of his boot rests against the round while the other hands over the embankment. He's leaning back against his palms, relaxed and comfortable so that her body can fit snuggly into his.

As the air grows colder, nipping at her legs beneath her dirty leggings Rey comes to realize just how thin the material of her pants is. Drawing her hands to her mouth she blows hot breath against her knuckles before pulling her fingers deep into the sleeves of Ben's jacket.

"Shit what time is it?" Ben suddenly blurts.

Right, they were supposed to be meeting his parents for supper and they still had a bit of a lengthy drive ahead of them. Ben is too his feet quickly muttering something to himself about never living this down as he reaches out to help Rey to her feet. The ground around them is dark and dappled in moonlight but her eyes adjusted as the sun's rays fall to sleep. She can see the worry etched on Ben's face as he rubs the dirt off his pants and then sets to brushing hers off too without a thought. His large hands caress her bottom in slow, easy pats as he rids her pants of grass and dried mud.

"Sorry," he says suddenly as though he's only just realized what he's done.

"You're so sweet, don't worry."

As he leads her back towards the pathway and the first set of falls, Rey allows the sounds of the world around them to wash over her. There are peepers in the distance singing their mating call. An owl hoots in the trees and just for a moment she closes her eyes and inhales deeply. The world smells clean and fresh and deeply of Ben. Though that may in fact be the jacket. When she finally opens her eyes she realizes he's just standing in front of her, his eyes watching her carefully. His features are illuminated but the moon, strong and sharp and beautiful and he's looking at her like that again. Like he's afraid if he blinks she'll just disappear. There's a softness there, a sweetness that Ray can't quite explain as she approaches ready to say something sarcastic or funny. Ben takes a step, quick and sure but his hands are shaking slightly as they reach out and cup her cheek.

She's never really been looked at like this before, there's no president to follow, no rule of thumb to lead her through it. All she knows is her heart is hammering in her chest as she feels his fingers trace a soft line against her cheek. He says something, but the rumble of the falls swallows the sound and he's smiling, just… smiling.

Unsure what how to reach she treats him to a soft smile and leans into his touch just a little. His fingers are broad and gentle, not what she was expecting from someone who works with his hands so much. His palm is warm as it slides against her cheek, fingers feathering through her hair and along her neck. His touch is warm and sweet and as he closes the space between them Rey can feel her heart as it leaps into her throat.


	8. Chapter 8

So... I changed the tense for this chapter, trying something a little different. I would really like to know what you guys think. Is it better in past or present? I plan on changing the whole thing if this tense works better. This chapter was a hard start because I knew where I wanted it to begin but had a hard time building off that. Once the drama started however it sort of just happened. No matter how many directions I took or how many times I rewrote it, it always ended up in the same place. It's big and we get a little more into Han and Leia's characters. I tried to keep Han accurate but a little standoffish based on where his and Ben's relationship has come from. So lovelies, let me know what you think. xo

Her heartbeat hammers against her chest as Ben moves in closer. Their faces are mere inches away when suddenly he presses his forehead against hers. Their noses bump softly and she can feel his slight smile as he sighs into her space. She is frozen and still, not sure what she should say or do in this one perfect moment. Had she wanted him to kiss her? Would she have been ok if he had tried?

Still all she can think about is how his forehead fells pressed against hers. It's oddly intimate with no real scale of reference. Up close like this his scent is strong, the smell of his body wash or maybe his cologne wrapping around her mind in a fog of delirious joy. She melts into it with a soft sigh, only stirred from her mindless enjoyment when he chuckles softly then draws back to press a kiss to her forehead where the feel of him still lingers. As he finally steps back he turns his wrist over to check his watch. The numbers glow in the darkness and he groans.

"We're running late," he tells her ruefully. "I thought maybe it might be best if we head back to the city to get your vehicle and then take that to my parents but we don't really have time." his lips draw a harsh line as he casts his gaze to the stars overhead. Rey watches as the moonlight light casts a glow against his profile highlighting his soft smile.

When he holds out a hand for her, she's glad to take it, "Shall we go?" she chimes, giving his hand a tight squeeze.

Ben chuckles again, "Off to the wolves den," he mutters with a twitch of his lips turning to give her a gentle tug in the direction of his bike. The air around them has shifted, it's cold now, not chilly like it had been before but actually cold. Her knuckles burn against the air but his palm keeps hers delightfully warm in his grasp. They move quickly, Rey breaking out in a run in order to keep warm.

As she bolts ahead of Ben she cries, "Race you!" over her shoulder a mistake if there ever was one. Ben's legs are much longer than hers and he is far faster then she had anticipated. His boots against the ground sound quick and loud as he gains on her. Her own converse uncomfortable in situations that involve any kind of hustle but she throws herself into it with all she has. The darkness isn't much of a deterrent either. She can see the outline of the tree tunnel which means they are getting closer to his bike. She just has to make it a little further and…

Large hands grab at her waist and she lets out a wild startled shriek. Ben is laughing as he pulls her back into him and turns so that she is now facing the opposite direction. His booming laugh is contagious as he sets her down with a plunk and keeps on running.

"CHEATER." She hollers after him but there's no way she's winning now. She can make out the glow of his grey shirt as he jogs towards his bike and then turns around to face her. She can't quite make it out but she knows there is a smug smirk plastered across his lips as he leans against his bike in triumph. "Pretty sad you had to resort to cheating," she accuses him with a light punch at his shoulder. Her cheeks are warm now, flushed pink as she sucks cold air into her lungs. It stings but the heat of exertion is delightfully pleasant.

Ben of course has barely broken a sweat. "You were an intimidating opponent," he tells her and she punches him again causing him to laugh. "Alright bruiser, don't start anything you can't finish," he tells her sternly.

The warning only fuels her fire and she finds herself pushing his shoulder with her fist again in a playful attempt at being cute. Ok, so she's flirting a little now.

Ben eyes her warily as he picks up his helmet. Rey is standing in defiant opposition, her hands on her hips in an open challenge. Ben just shakes his head before quickly setting his helmet back down and throwing himself forward. He has her by the middle again only this time she finds herself hoisted up and over his shoulder. He swings her around as though she weighs nothing at all leaving her to beat helplessly against his back and kick her feet at the air. "Do you yield?" he asks as he spins her again.

Rey giggles wildly as she shrieks and he jumps. Her belly strikes his shoulder as his hands grope at her thighs pushing her down his back so she hangs a little more precariously. She is midway down his back now, her fists beating against his backside, the firm muscles beneath his jeans unyielding against her onslaught.

"Never!" she cries joyously and when he finally places her feet first on the ground she throws her arms in the air giving a whoop of triumph, "I win!" she cries as Ben eyes her flirtatiously.

"If we didn't have somewhere to be…" he mutters and he's handing her her helmet.

Rey grins, "Ooooh big talk," she says mockingly before hastily adding, "I'm sorry please don't leave me out here in the dark."

At that Ben laughs heartily, "Wouldn't dream of it, who would save me from my parents then?"

Forcing the helmet over her head as Ben does the same she offers, "BB maybe?" She can hear him chuckle as he steps onto the bike steading it with his thighs. He turns the key and starts the engine flicking on the bike's bright headlight before he turns and offers her his hand. She slides on with practiced ease, impressed by how quickly she's picking this motorcycle thing up and they're off.

The ride back is slower than the journey there. The darkness is all-encompassing with no street lights to aid in their travel. Ben is careful which Rey appreciates, he takes his time as he winds through the roads with ease and care. Still she holds tight, grateful for his body heat which helps to warm her hands despite the way the air bites at her legs as it whips passed them. The bike is a mass of power, it's engine roaring as Ben shifts gears with care and takes them out onto more open streets and back towards civilization.

Ben's family home, at least Rey assumes it's where he's grown up is set back off the road by several hundred feet and surrounded by a wide-spanning acreage. Han had wanted enough space to land his plane and Leia wanted her privacy, it was a win-win.

The two-story home is dark against the evening sky, it's windows bright and welcoming as they pull up alongside the garage which houses all of Han's toys. Ben is quiet and contemplative as Rey slides off the back of the bike and sets her helmet down on the back of the seat. The stupid thing gave her hair a flattened static-y look but a quick messy bun fixes that up easily. She is stretching her legs out when she notices the shadowed shape of a man illuminated by the burning ember of what looks like a cigarette. He is sitting on the front porch, off to the side and out of the light on an old rustic porch swing.

"Hey kid," a gruff voice calls from the darkness and Rey breaks out in a broad toothy grin. It was Han.

"Leia's going to kill you if she catches you smoking again," Rey chimes happily as she bounces over to where Han is hiding. He is hiding too because Chewie and BB are nowhere in sight.

Han Solo is a devilishly handsome man with white-grey hair, eyes of a light smokey hazel in color a strong jawline. He also has a strong penchant for getting himself into trouble. "Don't you rat me out." he scolds as Rey plops down next to him on the swing, the chains jingling as the seat shifts under her weight.

Ben is being cautious and slow Rey realizes. He had taken off his helmet but he wasn't moving away from his bike yet, running his hands over the seat as he stuffs the keys in his pockets and then turns his eye on the sky. The stars are bright, twinkling, and clearly far more interesting than meeting your estranged father.

"You managed to get him home huh?" Han whispers, trying to be discrete but his voice carries a little more then he may realize, "You two sleeping together?"

Rey's eyes bulge, Ben's head quirks and he is making his way over towards them. His long legs carry him in a few quick strides so he's standing before Han and Rey in the shadowed overhang of the porch. There is a tense silence in which Han takes another drag off his cigarette, holds his breath, and then exhales slowly pointing the smoke away from Rey. "Ben," he says with a curt nod.

Ben's eyes narrow, "General," he says with a harsh coolness to his tone.

He was a General?

Han grumbles, "Don't give me that shit kid," as he shakes his head and takes another long draw from the cigarette which Rey is now realizing does not smell the faintest bit like tobacco.

She isn't the only one to pick up on this interesting little fact as Ben sniffs at the air sharply, "Really Han? Pot?" Ben looks like he might explode.

"What? It's medicinal!" Han cries, as he drops the joint on the brick ground and crushes it with his foot, "You know I was hurt when I served," he growls sitting back now with one arm draped up and over the back of the swing behind Rey. He crosses his legs casually and takes up a position of comfortable indifference, "You should try it sometime, might loosen you up."

At that moment, Ben looks positively venomous, his mouth a hard line, his shoulders tense, and his eyes wild, "You know why I can't" he seethes, "Fuck, this was a bad idea." Ben runs an agitated hand through his hair as he scowls at his father. Rey is beginning to feel incredibly uncomfortable shifting some in her seat to sit on her hands.

As if suddenly realizing she is still there Ben's eyes soften and he exhales quietly, "Rey, I'm so sorry."

Unsure what else to say Rey simply smiles, "It's ok, really." Her words shaking a little as she jumps up and moves towards the door. "I'm going to go and find your mother."

"Don't you tell her!" Han says, tapping the side of his nose as Rey slips passed Ben, her hand casually grazing his shoulder. He turns to follow her when Han says his name rather harshly.

She feels bad leaving him there treating Ben to an apologetic grin before she slips inside. The house is large and brightly lit, an open concept with high ceilings and windows everywhere. It's done in a rustic modern design, the furniture a rich cream tone with the walls done in a mosaic of barn boards all stained in different colors. She knows the layout pretty well by now, the kitchen is through the living room to the back of the house and she is prepared to head in that direction when Han's voice breaks through an open window.

"She's a good one kid," he grumbles in a rather fatherly way. Ben is quiet, he says something but his voice is too low for her to hear. Han however presses further, "Don't you fuck her up with your shit. That kid's been through hell in this life and she doesn't deserve any of your brand of drama."

Rey is frozen in place, torn between running away and a deep urge to cry but she can't get her feet to move. Ben bites out harshly, "I've grown up Han, a lot can change in seven years."

"Some of us are still picking up the pieces Ben," Han's voice grows soft, sad in a way that Rey has never heard it before. While Ben takes his turn at being angry.

"That wasn't my fault. I've done a lot of stupid," he pauses, "a lot of shitty things in my life but that," His rage surfaces and Rey has to take a sharp but quiet breath in, she doesn't like this side of Ben at all. He's harsh and cold and not the man she has been getting the know in the slightest, "There's nothing I can say to make you believe me, even after all this time."

That's when Leia steps into the living room. Her dark eyes are wide as she picks up on the voices from the porch.

"He was my best friend Ben," Han is saying loudly.

Ben's voice is low and dangerous as he replies, "And I'm your son, I may have been a fuck up but I deserved more then what you gave in the end."

Feeling trapped Rey takes a few tentative steps towards Leia who has her arms wide, open and welcoming. She is small but she gives the best hugs, wrapping Rey into her embrace like a mother cradling their child. She doesn't say anything, just holds her, rocking them back and forth before she draws back and strokes Rey's cheek with a ringed index finger, "The boys are out on the deck, there's a fire lit and a bottle of merlot on the island in the kitchen along with some finger foods. Go, make yourself comfortable." Leia's voice has a soft maternal cadence to it that Rey finds incredibly comforting. "And for the love of God," she whispers, "make it a big glass, we'll need it tonight by the sounds of those two."

Rey smiles as she skips off, drawing herself away from the clammer of voices as Leia throws the door open and she starts to tune up her husband and son.

BB is was exactly where Leia had said she would find him. He's happily chewing away on a large bone that looks remarkably like a femur while Chewie, Han and Leia's dog, a massive Leonberger, mouths and crunches away on his own. After peeking her head out onto the deck Rey locates a wine glass and does as Leia instructed. The wine is strong but sweet and makes her insides tingle just a little. She casually sips as she wanders around the kitchen taking in the subtle changes made since the last time she was there. When it becomes evident that the Solo-Organa family is still dealing with some heated family issues Rey takes the opportunity to step out onto the deck. There's a fire glowing in the large fire pit Leia had built into the side of the house and Rey happily takes a seat in front of it.

The back deck is fenced in and lined with twinkling lights. It's ground level which makes it easier to access the lake but the latticework surrounding the seating area keeps the occupants quietly tucked away. BB shifts, picking up his treasured bone and taking it to Rey's side as she sits sipping her wine quietly. The big harry knucklehead bumps into her shins with the bone as he parades it proudly before dropping it to the floor with a clattering bang. Chewie, now interested in whatever it is BB is doing, moves away from his treat wagging his tail as though he's only just now realized they are no longer alone. With both gentle giants vying for her attention as she sits curiously close to their level, Rey doesn't notice as Ben slips out onto the deck to join her.

He looks flushed and a little embarrassed as he moves over and takes up a chair next to Rey's. They sit in amiable quiet for a minute or two, staring at the racing flames of the fire before Ben breaks their silence.

"I'm so sorry," he says earnestly causing her to flinch. His voice is soft now, back to the Ben she had met less than a week ago.

Without much else to say Rey treats him to a smile, the best one she can muster as she says, "It's ok, really." and continues to stare off looking at nothing in particular.

The moments pass with a stunted awkwardness that is almost suffocating. Her only comfort the merlot which she is sad to note she has almost finished. Han and Leia are inside busying themselves with an older woman who looks like she could be Ben's grandmother. She is pulling dishes out of their oven and is placing them on cooling racks while Leia goes about pulling plates and Han arranges the cutlery.

It's oddly sweet to watch them as they move around one another. When no one is looking they're a happy couple. Han is hands-y and adoring while Leia is flirtatious and sweet. How two people can still be so in love after so long is, in Rey's humble opinion, a miracle. Sure they fought and they fought a lot. Han had a couch in his office at Falcon Industries that Rey knew for a fact he had slept on regularly over the course of one particularly bad hand full of months. And Leia was always venting about how he'd thought of some new and very dangerous scheme calling him childish, reckless and Rey's favorite, a hopeless scoundrel. But, he was Leia's scoundrel and they are as close now as they had been the first time she'd met them.

"Makes you wonder doesn't it," Ben says wistfully, he is watching his parents now too as Han slides his hand over Leia's rear end with an affectionate pat. Leia bats at him playfully and then offers him a spoonful of something that looked like potatoes, or some other mashed root vegetable.

Rey smiles, "What's that?" she asks with quiet curiosity.

"How they do it," he replies cryptically, "I've never seen two people fight so much but love so hard."

With her empty wine glass hanging in her hand Rey thinks a moment on his words, "Something to fight for I suppose." she muses, watching as Han and Leia laugh and then share a soft, sweet kiss. It's heartwarming and endearing and exactly what Rey knows she wants in life. Someone to fight for and to love with everything she has. A love story for the ages. It's just a silly romanticized fantasy but when she watches Han and Leia it doesn't seem so unattainable.

He smiles sadly, his profile illuminated by the bright lights from inside and the twinkling lights behind them, "They've certainly had enough to fight about." Ben doesn't come right out and say it but he didn't have to, his meaning is clear. His parents have fought a lot about him over the years, a fact for which he is desperately and unequivocally sorry for.

Rey wants to know more but is too afraid to ask and so settles for nodding, saved from a response as Leia pokes her head out onto the deck to announces that dinner is ready.

Dinner is red wine, balsamic and rosemary braised lamb served with not potatoes but a delicious mashed cauliflower and cooked asparagus. Rey is in heaven. Mairem, the cook, not Ben's grandmother is a marvel in the kitchen. She had worked for them full time when Ben had been little and served as a sort of nanny for the boy while he was young. When Ben grew older, her services were limited to cooking and now she's only there a couple of times a week. She's happy to see Ben though, hugging him tightly as she tuts on his appearance and tells him he is too tall and too thin, her words thickly accented.

If she could only see him without a shirt on she might not be too quick to judge, Rey thinks to herself, smiling as she helps herself to another glass of wine. Leia has assured her she too was on glass four and had no intention of stopping.

Han and Ben are tersely quiet choosing to now ignore one another instead of engaging at all. The dinners conversation passes easily enough, Han asks Rey about work and how she's been doing up there on the mountain by herself. He tells her how much he's missed her at Falcon and has offered her her old job back before he's even finished his lamb. Ben however has finds none of this amusing, politely picking away at his meal the way a good house guest would. He adds to the conversation only when acknowledged, and listens carefully as his father, a little under the influence proudly tells them all about his newest acquisition. Of course Poe has his hands in the project, he's Han's golden boy. A wiz with an engine who has a knack for flying and reminds Han of himself in his younger days.

Ben flinches almost imperceptibly but Rey notices, placing a hand on his knee under the table to give it a soft squeeze. Leia is right, the wine does help. It's particularly effective in elevating her confidence in regard to her interactions with Ben. If he notices the light flush of her cheeks he doesn't say, but Ben is uncomfortable in a way that makes Rey's heartache for him. She's not sure if it would be better or worse to steer the conversation in Ben's direction but chooses against it when she witnesses him jab a piece of asparagus with his fork in a strained sort of agitation.

The conversation flows easily enough, but when Leia asks Ben how he's been feeling the air in the room grows still. Ben doesn't want to talk about it, answering evasively while Han grunts a mocking scoff. Rey upon finishing her fourth glass of wine decided it may be best to excuse herself to the bathroom, stumbling a little as she stands. The alcohol has rushed to her head at the change in positions causing the world around her to pitch to the left. Ben's at her side before she has time to realize what's happening, a hand at her elbow to steady her.

"You good?" he asks softly.

She can feel the eyes of his parents on them, watching with a curiosity that's a mix of hopeful elation and stunted fear. Han's words echo within her head inquiring about whether or not she and Ben had been intimate. Her cheeks are flushed but Ben's fingers merely grip her elbow harder. "Yeah, yeah just stood too quickly," she assures him, nodding once she's sure she won't topple over. "I just need to run to the bathroom," she says softly, touching his bicep in a way that is far too affectionate.

He smiles and nods once in acknowledgment before he takes his seat at the table again. Her steps carry her down the hallway towards the powder room. It's not that she really needs to go, it's a more need to remove herself from the tense situation she was currently enduring. This was a whole new level to Han that she's never seen before and she can't say she enjoys it. Ben is an enigma with his past wrapped around him restraining his happiness in the present. His father can't let it go and his is mother desperate to have her family back together. Rey can't help but feel like she's been put in the position of duct tape holding this tense family together through a very awkward meal.

She leans against the sink, hands pressed into the marble basin when Leia's voice breaks through the quiet. She's scolding Han, telling him to smarten up. Han's reply is something about being worried about Rey when Leia tells him to stop being such an arrogant ass. That's when Leia turns on her son and the conversation falls quiet. There's a rumbling of voices that Rey adamantly ignores deciding instead to turn the tap on. She splashes the water carefully against her face scrubbing her palms down across her cheeks. They're pink, her eyes oddly bloodshot. How much wine had she had to drink again? She couldn't think clearly but she was sure Leia had just opened the third or was it the fourth? Had Han been drinking? Had she and Leia polished off three bottles of wine together?

She struggles to think through the alcohol-fuelled haze but is pulled from her thoughts by a loud bang and a flurry of raised voices. The situation is making her nervous and she's hesitant to return. Rey has never been good with confrontation of this sort. She can stand up for herself sure and she's not afraid to hold her ground but there's a hostility here that reminds her of her childhood. It's a memory that makes her dizzy, the world spinning as she rights herself, steels her resolve and returns to the dining room. Ben has his father by the shirt collar and Leia is pleading with her son to let him go. Han however is the picture of cool indifference as he levels his gaze with Ben, eyes cold and challenging. Ben looks positively wild, his dark eyes wide and filled with a dangerous sort of fire she's only ever seen once before. It was how her Uncle Plutt had looked right before he'd put his hands on Rey the first time.

Her Uncle Unkar, known by Plutt by his friends was a mean drunk who had taken Rey in after her parents were killed in a car accident. She had been little older than five at the time and Unkar had no right taking in a child her age. He hadn't wanted her so much as the money that had been put aside for Rey when she turned nineteen and the small stipend that came with raising the kid. He was unfortunately her only known living relative so she was left with little else to do but go and live with him in Jakku. He had been ok enough in the beginning, not nice but not horrible. He made sure she was fed, sent her to school, didn't really neglect her in any way but as Rey got older Plutt got meaner and meaner. He was verbally abusive and had a nasty habit of gaslighting Rey so her self esteem was next to none existent. She was nine the first time he hit her. She couldn't remember much about it other than being hit so hard it knocked the air right out of her. She'd never been able to remember what it was she'd said or done, just that intense pain as it cracked through her skull and the way her head hit the wall afterward. That and the look in his eye, fury and anger the likes of which Rey had never witnessed before in her life and never would again until this very moment.

She shudders as she draws away, stumbling over her feet as Han seethes, "Do it kid, wouldn't be the first time you hit your old man." His voice is so calm it's almost eery as if this sort of thing happens every day. The edge of disdain however is sharp and cruel.

"You'd like that wouldn't you." Ben's voice is loud, almost a holler, as his fist clench tighter in the fabric of Han's shirt. His sleeves are rolled up some, the muscles of his forearms flexing and strained. "Prove I haven't changed, prove you were right."

Han is shaking his head, his face strained beneath an emotion that looks almost like incredulous pain, "I don't want to be right Ben, it's the last thing I want."

"Bullshit," Ben barks. He's taller than his father but not by much. Han isn't a big man by nature but he's tall and can hold his own in an argument. Rey's seen him go toe to toe against angry delivery drivers and hostile workers plenty of times. Against Ben however, Han looks small, older in a way that ages him desperately. Ben is dark and angry and terrifying while Han is pale and placid and waiting. It's an image that Rey has now burned into her mind and she wishes she hasn't. She doesn't want to see Ben this way but she was warned wasn't she?

Poe's voice chimes into her mind, a regretful, 'I told you so.' as she watches Ben, this immense figure of a man standing over his father as a menacing threat.

"You two stop it now!" Leia cries as she pulls on Ben's arm. If Han looks small compared to Ben Leia is puny. She's hollering now, her first beating on Ben's bicep with the futility of a four-year-old trying to push a crate full of power tools. "Ben let him go!"

They've seemed to have forgotten about Rey as she presses herself against the wall, making herself an unimposing as possible. The threat of violence is thick and she's starting to become afraid, shaking against her need to be incredibly still. Be unseen, be silent, it was the only way to avoid getting hit when she was young and as her body slips into muscle memory she adopts the same mechanisms to remain safe and untouched.

"Didn't the Marines teach you to control that anger kid?" Han is grumbling, his voice gruff and gravely. Rey can't tell if he's egging Ben on or trying to help.

Ben's lips are pressed together as though he's biting them from the inside, "FUCK." he screams and Rey inhales sharply, it's the first noise she's made since she's come out from the bathroom.

Three heads turn in unison to see her standing pressed against the wall tight and afraid. Ben drops his father's shirt, stepping back as he worries his hand over his nose and jaw. Han looks like he wants to say something, to reach out to her but he thinks better of it. It's Leia who approaches slowly. Her presence is calm, her hand held out as though approaching a timid animal. Rey counts the rings on her fingers, her eyes follow the line of her manicured nails. She's focusing on the glasses Leia has slid up onto of her head, the opal necklace hanging around her neck like a tiny glittering moon. Her eyes are everywhere, the wine making her dizzy, the raised voices making her panic.

She hasn't had an anxiety attack since she was young and she doesn't want to start again now. She's stronger than this, she will not allow herself to go back down this path. Plutt will not win, not now, not ever again. She's so focused on not slipping away that she doesn't hear Leia's voice as she says her name. Her lips are moving but Rey can't hear the sound. She's slipping, tumbling against the fear. Be strong, her heartbeats, be strong, be strong, be strong. Leia's lips are still moving, she's talking. She's saying something, she's trying to talk to Rey.

"Rey, sweetheart." her voice breaks over the static and crackling buzz that has filled Rey's head. "Sweetheart, look at me."

Rey is wide-eyed, her eyes burning as they water and her voice catches in her throat, "I'm sorry, I think I need to go home," she says in a voice both broken and hallow. She looks to Han, then Ben and then back to Leia, "Dinner was lovely," she's worrying her hands against her arms as they fold across her chest. "Thank you so much for inviting me."

Ben is stepping forward, "I'll take you home," he says but Han places himself between them, his shoulders set.

He may be smaller then Ben but when he's squared up like this Rey feels like he could probably stand his own. "You won't go near her," he demands, pointing in his son's face in a way Rey has seen him do a hundred times to a hundred different people.

Rolling his eyes Ben quips, "Who's going to get her home then Han, you? You're still high, Mums had nearly a bottle and a half of wine."

Leia is agreeing with her son but she doesn't want him going up the mountain on his bike, plus they need to get BB home too. "Take my Lincoln," she says.

Han is adamantly against the idea, "Do NOT let him take the Navigator Leia." He says sharply.

Thank god Leia can handle her husband better than anyone else, "Oh stop it you old fool he's not eighteen and he doesn't have anything in his system." When she turns to Ben she smiles softly, placing a hand on his forearm in a moment of maternal warmth, "You take her home, stay with her if you have to but give her space."

"Don't encourage that, he terrified her!" Han is gesticulating with his palm open, his voice rising in a way that makes Rey's shoulders tense. Normally she's ok with raised voices, normally she's ok with yelling and fighting but there's something about the way Ben looked, about the sound of Han's voice, the cadence in which Ben spoke. There was something about it all, the combination of it that made her feel helpless and young again. It kicked her fight or flight into overdrive and now the slightest noise was making her want to bolt or lash out. She was afraid if anyone got too close to her she'd punch them, an involuntary reaction, unintentional but effective for keeping people away.

Growling at Han, Leia bites out softly through gritted teeth, "Lower. Your. Voice." She swats him before turning to Rey, "Sweetheart," her voice is soft again and Rey likes the way it sounds, "Ben is going to take you home ok? He's going to take my car and get you and BB home. I'd like Ben to stay with you if that's ok." It's like she's offering Rey a lollypop if she took her medicine like a good girl. The thought of it makes Rey laugh to herself but as Ben moves towards her she draws back away from him quickly.

"See," Han grumbles again, "She should stay here for the night."

"She doesn't want to stay here tonight Han, she wants to go home. She wants to feel safe." Leia knows Leia understands, "Rey, can Ben stay with you tonight?"

She looks at Ben, tall beautiful Ben with his dark eyes now soft and curiously alarmed. His lips full and kissable and capable of saying sweet and yet incredibly hurtful things. Ben with his desire to know her, to be close to her. Ben with his temper and his rage and his deep and desperate need, but for what?

Was she ok with Ben staying with her? Couldn't she just send him away? She's used to being alone, she can be alone, but she doesn't want to be alone. With large doe brown eyes she looks to Ben, his eyes searching hers as he looks for answers to unasked questions. Like a child without a treasure map looking for clues to pieces of buried gold.

His eyes hold a pleading sort of need. What he's asking, she isn't entirely sure but she feels like she might need it too. She nods without speaking and Leia releases a sigh of relief.

"Ben you come with me, I'll get you the keys. Han… down boy." Han put his hands up in a defensive way as his wife and son exit the room. Rey can hear them as Leia tells Ben hushed secrets and half-truths, filling him in on a background she's unwilling to share with him herself just yet.

When they're gone from sight Han casts a look over his shoulder before he draws himself closer. Rey watches him with the curiosity of a child as he finds himself before her a mere few feet away. His expression is soft and Han-like again. The way he used to look at her when she was seventeen and had just sent herself into a panic because she was afraid she'd messed up a shipment or taken an order wrong. His smile is kind, his eyes soft, his words uttered almost breathlessly, "Hey kid…"

She has always loved it when he called her that, it was a very Han thing to do. When he raises a hand to gently touch her cheek she doesn't flinch away like she thought she might. Instead she watches him curiously. "You going to be ok?"

Is she? She's not entirely sure, she thinks so?

Maybe?

She doesn't know how to answer and so she just nods.

Han takes a deep breath in and then lets it out soft and steady, "Fuck that kid…" Ben, he's talking about Ben. "Look, you and me kid, we're going to get lunch sometime real soon. Have a good chat. Ok?"

Rey nods again and Han smiles sadly.

"You're safe, Ben will keep you safe." He says the words like he actually believes them causing Rey to quirk her head. Han simply pushes passed the thought like walking through a fog. "I'm so sorry, he just… there's so much." he sighs heavily, his strong arms drawing her into a tight hug. Han gave good hugs too, not as good as Leia but they were different. He smells like cloves, sandalwood and the faintest hint of grease. His arms wrap around her, drawing her head against his shoulder as he cradles her close to his heart. "You're too good for the likes of us kid, men like Ben and me but I'm so incredibly grateful we have you," he whispers softly and Rey winds her arms around him in return. She pulls in close to him and loses herself against the man who saved her all those years ago.

Ben and Leia are back quickly as Han whispers that he loves her and Rey wills herself not to cry. When he pulls away he steps back and places his hands on his hips as she moves towards Ben. Leia has wrapped up some supper to take home as well as a healthy helping of dessert. She's wrapping an arm around Rey as they walk to the door, leaving Ben to carry the food and all of BB's things. The large beast of a dog follows along behind them watching his master closely. Ben has the car in the driveway idling as he takes out her things first before coming back and wrapping his jacket around Rey's shoulders telling her it's cold and she'll need it.

She doesn't feel the cold though, her body is warm, alight with adrenaline and drink. October is almost over, she's going to do a dry November she decides, blaming the wine for her poor reaction and overall state of panic.

Once she's in the car and they're pulling away she feels Ben's hand drape over her kneecap softly. She can see it for the apology it is and the questions that lie beneath it but she doesn't have the energy to go down that path.

Not now.

So instead she presses her forehead to the cool windowpane and watches the scenery go by under the shadow of darkness.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up friends, this chapter has mild mentioning of **domestic abuse.**  
>  It all seems to have come to a head rather quickly. I hadn't meant for Ben and Rey's attraction to be so intense so fast, it was supposed to be more of a slow burn but have no fear just because the attraction is there they have a lot of things to work through!

True to his word Ben drove her home that night and stayed until the next morning. His presence in her home was odd and made her feel uncharacteristically uneasy but he didn't leave until he was sure she was going to be ok. In her heart of hearts, she knew she was being unfair to him. She barely spoke more than a handful of words, her heart a stone hammer within her chest. She was stuck between the rational and irrational and Ben, patient and sweet was so good to just follow her lead.

She tried, she really did but the words died in her throat when he looked at her, his dark eyes pleading and fearful. He left the next morning after she'd called in sick. The first time she's done so in years and still the guilt she feels is minor. After turning her phone on silent she takes an Ativan and then texts Finn to ask if he and Poe can pick up her vehicle sometime through the day. Whenever it's convenient for them, she'll be around. She didn't bother to check for a response but let BB out for his morning business and then crawled straight back into bed.

Her sleep the night before had been an exercise in gymnastics. Her bed looks like she'd had the cast of Cirque de Soleil over for a private performance but she can't be bothered to redress it. With her curtains pulled, the room is cast in a muted morning glow and she allows sleep to steal her away, this time she sleeps like the dead.

When she wakes up her house smells like roasted hazelnut coffee and fresh blueberry scones. It's gloriously distracting and makes her belly grumble in its desperate need for sustenance. Her feet draw a groggy line across the floor as she makes the way to the ledge of her loft overlooking her living space below. The large railway station clock hanging from her wall tells her it is in fact two in the afternoon and she's slept half of the day away.

God bless good drugs.

The smell is curtesy of Poe and Finn who are sitting at her kitchen table with a bouquet of flowers. As she descends the stairs she realizes it's no normal bouquet but a beautiful array of sunflowers, white roses, lily of the valley, babies breath and pinecones. An odd mixture but one that is incredibly pleasing to the eye.

"Oh boys," Rey chimes upon her approach, voice thick with sleep and stunted from underuse, "Are those for me?" she asks as she slides a hand over each of their shoulders.

Finn casts Poe a rueful smile as Poe says, "They're for you, but they're not from us." He offers her an apologetic smile as he hands her the card. The envelope is crisp, white and smells faintly of coconut hand lotion. She smiles as she inhales the scent, sliding in to take a seat opposite Finn. Wincing as the bright light from her board windows meets her sleep stunted gaze. Her head hurts, not a little, but a lot. It aches in a way that makes her want to crawl right back into bed.

As though he recognizes the signs, Finn is to his feet and maneuvering around her kitchen with comfortable ease. He pulls down one of her favorite mugs and sets to pouring her a cup of coffee as Rey turns the card over in her hand. She hates this feeling, the dirty feeling of too much alcohol, and drug-assisted sleep that makes her feel seedy.

So, she focuses instead on the flowers and the sweet scent of freshly baked scones mingling with java and hazelnut. The smooth envelope in her hand is like a weight on her soul as she slides her finger beneath its flap breaking the seal. The flowers are from Han and Leia, an apology for the night before inscribed across the folded paper inside. It's inked in Leia's neat penmanship thanking Rey for her company while expressing her anticipation of their next visit. Hopefully under better circumstances. The gesture is sweet but unnecessary and yet welcome all at the same time.

Finn returns quickly, a mug of coffee in one hand, a plate sporting a buttery looking scone in the other. He places both in front of Rey carefully before sinking back into his seat next to Poe. The two share a look which Rey chooses to ignore as she picks up the warm mug and inhales deeply the delicious scents wafting through its steam. It's an amazing mixture of sharp, dark, bitter chocolate, hazelnut and roasted coffee beans. She knows instantly where it has come from. The little coffee shop down the road from Falcon Industries. The one she loves but never seems to have time to stop into. It's a little hole in the wall but they serve the best coffee in the Middle Rim. Better then Juniors but they won't ever tell Junior that.

Her friends are quiet and patient as they watch her with apprehensive care. She tries to ignore their looks of concern as she sips on the deliciously hot liquid nestled between her palms. She knows either Han or Leia has likely filled them in on some of the drama because they look at her now as if she is going to slowly start to break apart before their very eyes.

"I'm fine guys," she says softly as she takes a careful sip of the dark liquid gold. It's warm against her tongue in a way that doesn't burn but soothes her tastebuds beneath its heat. She savors the rich taste using it as an excuse not to further the discussion she really doesn't want to have. Poe and Finn however show no real signs of leaving.

Poe looks apprehensive as he lets out a slow, "Uh…. uhhhhh…." nodding discretely to Finn in hopes that Finn will know what to say or do.

"Peanut," he says with a softness that betrays his intent.

"I'm not talking about it guys," she speaks into the mug, her words distorting against the rim of ceramic, "I'm ok."

Neither of them believes her, they want to, they just can't. "Han said it was pretty bad." Poe hedges as Finn moves his chair closer to his partners. They don't usually sit like this, pressed so close together, like a unified front. For a split second Rey has the thought they might be trying to strong-arm her but Finn looks distressed and Poe is cradling Finn's hand within his own.

"Well it wasn't good," Rey says sadly. She wants to tell them but she doesn't want to be unfair to Ben. It's all so complicated and she's not even aware of half of the sordid tale. Anxious fear bubbles up in her chest as she recalls the look in Ben's eyes as he held Han ready to strike. The regret and torment there when he realized what he'd done. "Everything will be ok though."

"Peanut you're shaking." Finn points out and she is. She quickly sets her mug down on the table, the liquid within the cup sloshing around before the bottom strikes the tabletop.

Poe, the closer of the two reaches out to rest his hand against hers but Rey draws back, sitting with her back flush against the seat. Her eyes feel puffy and hot but she knows she's not crying. She doesn't feel like she is.

"He didn't…" Poe's voice grows dangerously low when he asks, "hurt you did he?" There's a dark sort of malice in his brown eyes that Rey finds unsettling. Even still it doesn't scare her the way the look in Ben's eyes did. Maybe it has something to do with the way that she knows Poe. Her comfort with him perhaps or the knowledge that Poe could never hurt anyone let alone her. When she thinks about it though she didn't feel like Ben was going her either. She didn't feel unsafe when he was with her and even Han was sure Ben would protect her. What was it then?

"No, no, I don't think he has it in him," Rey says idly, her eyes on the floor but her mind is lost in a sea of thoughts. She almost misses the look that both Finn and Poe share before they pin her beneath matching pairs of serious, dark eyes. "What?"

Finn looks like he's going to try and stop Poe but Poe slides his hand out from Finns and holds it up, effectively silencing Finn in the process, "No," he says a little sharper then Rey's heard him speak to his partner before, "No, I'm not doing this, I don't owe him anything"

Finn says Poe's name but Poe presses on, "Rey, Ben's fucked up, like a lot." he levels her with a gaze that tells her he's not messing around. There's no embellishment here, no dancing around the truth. He's never been one to sugar coat anything but he's good at being evasive with the truth. Right now, he's putting all the cards on the table, "He's got anger issues and in a big way."

Rey mutters that she's seen it first hand and Poe frowns, "He was a messed up kid, he got into some serious trouble, sure he stole Han's bike, but that's nothing. I know it's not my place to say and sure he should tell you himself but that's not the first time he's put his hands on Han."

Rey had kind of figured that already by the way their evening had gone down. Ben was enraged in a way that a lot of people just don't have in them but Han? Han had been antagonizing him all evening. Rey was in the bathroom when it happened so Han might have said something to set Ben off. That didn't excuse the outburst but it didn't make Han innocent either.

"I knew Ben in high school, or at least I knew of him. He was a few years younger than me and he was a total mess. He put Han in the hospital once. I think he was about eighteen when that happened." Poe has Rey pinned as he speaks, and she doesn't like the way it feels to be so under his scrutiny but he doesn't let up, "Then there was this spice dealer he used to hang out with, Usher. Ben and Usher were friends until something happened. This girl Ben was friends with, they might have been dating I don't know. She OD'd on some bad Spice. Ben went ballistic and beat Usher within an inch of his life."

Finn shudders as Poe's voice drifts off, "I remember that. It left him scrambled pretty badly didn't it?"

Nodding Poe says, "Han has him clean the shop, makes sure he's taken care of. I think its the only reason Ben wasn't up on charges for it." his words on the topic are nonchalant now but Poe steadies Rey with a serious look when he says, "I have my biases yes but the reason I'm telling you this is because I was there when Han got you away from Plutt. I packed your things, I drove you away from Jakku and that hellhole." This time when Poe places his hand on Rey's she doesn't flinch, "I remember the bruises, I remember the sleepless nights and I remember the fear."

"You're a bright light Peanut," Finn adds with a weak grin, "broken people flock to you like you're their salvation.

They aren't wrong and Rey hates to admit that but still she feels this pull to Ben like he's calling to her as though he belongs to her. She can't explain it but she knows there's more to the story than what Finn and Poe are aware of. Still she heeds their words promising to take them seriously.

Trying to calm their raging concern Rey gives them a firm smile and sets to inhaling the offered scone. She listens as they talk but doesn't offer much in the way of conversation. Her head is pounding in a way that tells her she's bound for bed again in only a matter of time. It's not that she's hungover she realizes, though she's still swearing off alcohol for the entire month of November. Her eyes ache and her mind feels fuzzy in a way that makes her want to empty her stomach. It isn't until she has something in her stomach that she realizes she actually feels nauseous.

Finn and Poe have switched topics now, they're talking about Hux and his new girlfriend, a tall Amazonian woman by the name of Gwen. They hypothesize how he could have managed to trick her into thinking he was a decent human being, joking about his pasty skin and odd manner of dressing. Like some hipster goth with expensive taste and a bad haircut. Rey feels a little bad for Hux, he's a decent human being when he's not being antagonized which is almost constantly.

After a while they start to talk about Falcon which brings the conversation back to Han and an odd sort of pang strikes Rey in the chest. After everything that went down Han had been oddly paternal in the end. She files that away under information to be pondered over at another time and listens as Poe and Finn tell her about Andy their newest hire and how Han terrorizes the poor man.

They only really stay about an hour and a half but it feels as though they've been there all day. When Finn picks up on the way Rey's eyes look shadowed and distant he instructs Poe to clean up and ushers Rey back into bed. Bringing her a glass of water and one of her pills he promises to let BB out and then lock up but he'll be checking on her later.

The promise of his text makes her think of her cellphone and as Finn descends her loft stairs she fishes for the small device finding it trapped between her headboard and mattress. The bright screen is havoc on her eyes as she turns the brightness down several notches. There are too many text messages for her to comprehend, Jannah inquires after her well being telling her to text if she needs anything. Holdo wants to know if Rey would like the next day off as well, no pressure, just concern. Her boss is a saint and Rey takes the inquiry under serious thought.

She has a text from Snap which she chooses to ignore. She thumbs passed his name but not without acknowledging the lack of that familiar pang of hopefulness his name often provoked. Hux wants to know what she's done to break Ben and demands she fix it at once. She wants to fire back a 'sod off' but chooses instead to ignore him as well. Then there's Ben. His texts are paragraphs outlining his deep apologies, and concern. She has a sinking feeling that someone may have told him a little about her past but she can't find it within herself to care too deeply. It's not as though its a secret.

As she lays in the quiet of her bed listening to her friends while they play with BB outside she thinks about what it is she wants to say to Ben. After a few minutes she takes her pill, washes it down with a gulp of water and settles on a simple.

-Have a migraine, call you later?-

Her eyes ache and she's starting to lose focus on the world around her. Her vision is awash with fuzzy edges and the deep jarring sound of static. She hears her door lock somewhere in the distance as her mind swims and swirls, the world shifting on its side. It's all she can do to just lay there, eyes closed and wait for her medication to kick in. The sweet embrace of sleep cannot come soon enough but when it does it brings with it a swell of flashing images and sounds from deep within the dark recesses of her subconscious. Her memories beat a strange time within her mind, a jumble of information and experiences that have melded together and make little to no sense. Still the imprint left is one of groping panic as she runs and hides. She's eight, she's ten, she's fifteen. Plutt's big meaty hands, the smell of bourbon on his breath as he yells in her face. The nights where she falls asleep in front of her door to her bedroom in case one of Plutt's friends decide they might act on the filthy words they mutter to her as she passes.

She's breathing hard, her brow coated in sweat when she wakes up. BB is sleeping on the floor instead of in bed with her, a sign she's been thrashing. There's a pillow across the room and one in her hands that's been ripped open, it's fluffy contents spilling out. She can't get her heart to settle, she feels wild and filled with adrenaline as though she's been out running in the woods. She hasn't thought of Plutt in a long time, he's a ghost in her life but even still he haunts her. She can feel his hands on her wrists and the thought sends a fevered ache roiling through her. She's pacing and panting and feels like her world is coming apart around her.

It doesn't make sense, none of it makes sense. Least of all her deep-seated need to reach out to Ben. As if summoned by thought, Rey sees her phone light up in the darkness. It fell to the floor at some point through her fevered dreams and it's sitting a few feet away. Stalking over to pick it up she looks to see his name staring up at her. As she swipes open the message she sees he's sent her a series of funny Bernese pictures. A Bernese in a top hat with the comment, 'new look for BB?'

There's a gif of a puppy licking peanut butter off its nose and Bernese laying in an awkward position, it's ears up, eyes wide in shock with the tag line, 'I'm not weird I'm limited edition'

Rey laughs to herself, the sound almost foreign to her ears. The glowing numbers on the phone tell her it's after midnight but Ben's clearly still up. He's been sending her funny pictures. Her head doesn't hurt as much, the ache a dull roar now and less of an all-encompassing drowning feeling.

When his next gif comes in, a Bernese sitting between a pair of cows as they lick its face, Rey hits dial and holds the phone to her ear. Ben sounds almost surprised when he answers, his voice stiff as he clears his throat. He doesn't say Hi, he simply asks, "How are you feeling?"

Rey sighs, letting the sound of his voice wash over her. She feels like a teenager as his words melt into her settling somewhere in her belly like warm smooth whiskey. "Better, haggard but better."

"Did you get your car?" he asks practically, his tone neutral and unimposing, keeping their conversation light and easy,

"Yeah, Poe and Finn brought it up, with coffee and scones this afternoon," she tells him as she settles back onto her bed, drawing her knees to her chest as she presses her back into the headboard. "They didn't stay long, I've been in and out of it all day. Mostly out," she adds with a soft laugh. She can hear Ben meet it with his own on the other end and the breathy exhale of air makes her smile.

"You need anything?" he asks and Rey can't help the flutter within her chest at his show of concern.

With another sigh, "That's a loaded question." she tells him absently and he seems to pick up on her meaning.

"Anything I can do?" he offers instead.

Her body is torn between exhaustion and physically alert. It's a stunned feeling where she feels the need for more sleep but her body just wants to move. She pauses on his words a moment, ruminating on the implication, wondering whether he could actually rush to her aid if she asked. It's a childish idea and she knows it. It's cruel to toy with him and she doesn't know if she's ok seeing him just yet anyway, "No," she answers after a few seconds of silence, "Just more sleep, my body is all buggered up"

They fall into an easy conversation, she asks about Hux and his cryptic text. He's laughing as he explains that Hux has been flustered over his new girlfriend. She asks questions there and laughs as he tells her about Hux's last girlfriend and how poorly that went over. Rey doesn't say anything but she knows Rose well. They don't talk about anything serious but it feels like she's known him forever, as though midnight conversations were a common thing in their newly budding friendship.

She imagines him sitting on a bed of dark sheets, ready for bed himself as they laugh and share a pleasant back and forth. And so this becomes routine for them.

She doesn't see Ben for quite a while, finding herself back to work the next day despite the niggling sensation in the back of her mind she should have taken another day. Work is easy though, it's a comfortable place for her where things make sense. She loves her job, she loves her clients and she loves the peace of mind she gains from losing herself in the functional problems of posture and injury. Keeping her hands busy keeps her mind busy and when her mind is busy she can't spiral out of control.

The dreams don't stop either but she fills her evenings with texts and phone conversations with Ben. He's easy to talk to and a wealth of knowledge on a plethora of different topics. He tells her stories too outlandish to be true but too detailed to not be. They play a game of two truths and a lie discovering hidden pieces of information about one another that would otherwise have remained unspoken. Ben is eerily good at the game but he's fun too. Laughing at her cries of disbelief and egging her on when she stumbles on picking her information. She loves the sound of his laugh and finds herself chasing after it like a child after butterflies. They don't talk about anything too serious, giving those topics a wide birth. They both seem content to chip away at the obscure, like how Ben hates the feeling of anything between his toes and Rey gets uncomfortable when the volume is on an even number.

He's the last person she talks to at night and the first person she hears from or texts in the morning. Hiding him away, she treasures the little bubble they've surrounded themselves in but still she finds herself avoiding his presence.

In her dreams Plutt becomes Ben staring at her with those wild and dangerous eyes. When he hits her, it's not just the physical pain of it that shatters through her body but there's heartbreak there too. He drags her down the hallway by her ankles and locks her in the closet the way Plutt use to or pulls her by a mittful of her hair, smashing her face against the doorframe in the process.

Something inside her tears a little each time but every time she wakes up from one of these dreams it's Ben she wants to reach out to. She's not sleeping and her friends are starting to get worried. Poe and Finn have taken to alternating invites to dinner or stopping into her work with lunch. Even Amilyn seems softer somehow when she speaks to Rey. She's always been a kind employer but now she's emanating a maternal warmth that almost makes Rey uncomfortable. Still she assures everyone she's ok and it's only Ben who doesn't press the issue. He makes the odd comment here or there and inquires about how she's slept so someone has been feeding him information but that's all.

It's on a Thursday night when she's getting ready to call Ben that she receives a text message from Han. It's short but sweet, asking her to meet him the next day after she gets off work. they'll go for lunch. She works the morning shift, though she's not sure he should have or could have known that. He's likely been interrogating the boys again. He wants to meet at Kessel's Run around one if she's free. It's a bar in the underground that Han has been known the frequent. It's not a place he would normally have picked to meet but it affords the privacy that high scale restaurants often lack.

She fires him off a quick confirmation changing the time to one thirty to give herself enough time to get there. She's hitting send just as Ben's name lights up her screen sending her lips into a Cheshire grin.

Work goes by easily enough, it's busy for a morning, but that's how Rey likes it. She putters away at paperwork settling up some old files before she slips off wishing Jannah and Paige, their new receptionist a good weekend. The trip to Kessel's Run is an odd one, she has to double back a few times as she keeps missing the turn off down Dresden Row. It's a small side street tucked away in the Akkkadese district that Rey isn't familiar with. The whole area has her in a tailspin when she finally pulls up outside the little hole in the wall pub.

Han is already inside a pint of ale in front of him as he waves her over. The atmosphere in the room is dark, a hazy sort of brown light filtering in through oddly tinted windows. At this time of day the only other patrons look to be regulars sitting at the bar enjoying a lunch hour pitcher.

Rey takes the seat next to Han placing her purse in the seat next to her as a woman in her mid-fifties with her hair pulled back in a tight braid approaches them. In her hands, she carries a glass of water and a pair of menus. She gives her name with a friendly grin flirting a little with Han as she tells them to wave her over when they've decided.

This happens a lot, women tripping over themselves around Han. He's what her friends would call a silver fox. Rey just never saw it, he's too close to a father figure for her to be attracted to him and he clearly only has eyes for Leia.

"So… Kid," Han starts on uneasy footing, his hands drawn together, fingers interlaced as he rests them on the table. "How have you been?"

She hasn't even looked at her menu yet but casts him an appraising look. "Tired if I'm being honest," she says surely her eyes skimming the limited options for something that sounds appetizing. "What are you getting?"

He doesn't seem to appreciate her evasive maneuver, quickly telling her he's getting a cheeseburger and fries while he fixes her with a knowing stare. "Heard you're not sleeping well," he says finally, "any truth to that?"

Rey shrugs in a way that has Han narrowing his eyes at her. She can't hide from him, she never could. He sees her in a way the others don't, even Luke. He was once the kid who didn't belong to anybody and he knows her past like he's written it himself. Han grew up rough and alone so he knows what her demons look like. It's how he was so quick to discover the abuse and why he never pushed her to talk about it until she was ready.

"Some nights are hard sure," she offers him easily enough, trying to breeze over the idea that she's suffering from some unseen struggle. Han sees through that ruse too, far too easily. He's taking a deep swig of his beer and narrows his eyes at her a moment before Rey waves Colleen over for the orders. She thinks she being smart but when the waitress scurries off to the kitchen Han has her.

"Rey," he says sternly, a warning to cut the foolishness, "don't bullshit a bullshitter kid. I'll ask again, Are you not sleeping?"

"It's hard," she admits, watching him as he nods knowingly.

"Nightmares? Flashbacks? Something different altogether?"

He's seen it all so he knows her pattern but at this point he waits patiently for her to offer up the good stuff. She feels the pressure of his affection for her, a need for her to be ok and soon a dam breaks and she's telling him all of it. The warnings from her friends and bits of information she's been fed here and there. The fear and the flashbacks and that look. She tells him what that look in Ben's eye did to her, how it broke her tightly woven resolve and freed her demons. Rey tells Han about how she clings to Ben and yet now feels afraid of him. The late-night phone calls, and this undeniable connection that tells her he'll keep her safe.

Its a myriad of confusing emotions and feelings that she only half understands because none of this makes sense. It's impossible to feel so intensely about another human being in such a short period of time and she knows she shouldn't even be feeling this way. She feels stupid when she's done. The waitress has been avoiding their table and her unshed tears. She brings their food only when Rey has fallen silent and Han is treating her to a sad knowing smile.

"I love my kid," he says in a way that shocks her. There's a sureness in his words that makes Han sound almost like Leia but Rey watches as he continues, "Ben was a good kid, quiet, awkward, he always wanted to be with us and it was hard. I was just coming out of service, I had no idea what I was supposed to do with myself and Leia was headlong into politics." he explains to her his words simple and easy. He's unfolding his napkin that's wrapped around his knife and fork as he continues, "I was home with him a lot and he was such a happy kid. He wanted me to teach him about bikes and planes so I did. It was weird being idolized by such a small human but I loved him I just didn't know anything about being a dad. Falcon was his idea, sort of anyway. He sparked it and I ran with it. I was busy again and Ben was lost in that."

She continues to watch him as he speaks, his schooled movements, the easy way he had about him. He always comes across so casual but there is a line of meticulous deliberation to everything he does that she had never noticed until this moment.

"Having a kid… there's nothing like it in the world Rey. Ben was everything to us, is everything to us and so we worked to give him everything we thought he needed. We just took for granted how much of that was simply just us. Leia came out of politics and tried to be there for him but she had no idea how to relate to him and he was getting so angry. It was my fault I know that, but by the time I realized it he was lost. We fought all the time, it was bad. Really bad. Ben started to withdraw within himself and that was when the drugs started I think. He got in with a bad crowd but they seemed to understand him or made him feel like they did... I don't know he was just so filled with anger and hate. It's hard to see someone go through that, I was filled with regret. I blamed myself and that made me angry, Ben's behavior made me angry, the drug use, the stealing, all of it. Love makes you do strange things when it gets wrapped up in those kinds of emotions."

He's dressing his plate as he speaks, taking his burger apart to rearrange the toppings before running ketchup over his fries in a zig-zagging pattern. "Poe told me he put you in the hospital." Rey finds herself saying before realizing it's being said.

Han looks up at her, his mouth a hard line, not mad but upset as he seems to mull over his words carefully, "Yeah… yeah that happened." he confirms, "I mean, shit Yeah." he inhales sharply with an awkward shake of his head, more of a tick to the side then a yes or a no motion, "That was bad, I mean real bad. But you have to understand that drugs were involved in that situation. We told him we didn't want him hanging around with his girlfriend anymore. They were toxic. There was this pull of hatred that kept them together it was insane. She'd get aggressive with him and he'd just take it. Leia was going nuts, I didn't know what to do. We fought, the little minx had gotten into Leia's jewelry and fenced some pieces of Leia's mothers and that was the last straw. I grabbed her by the arm, admittedly not my best moment and Ben lost it." He's popping a few fries in his mouth, chewing on them quietly before he says, "Ben took off after that, we didn't see him for months until he showed up on our doorstep covered in blood. His hands were a mess, he was incoherent. I'll never forget that moment so long as I live it was terrifying. The girl was dead, bad Spice I guess, Ben went after the dealer. A friend of his apparently and it got bad. The guy got him a few good times with a knife, nothing major but Ben nearly killed the guy. We got him into rehab and it wasn't long after that he joined the Marines."

Rey's food has gone untouched, she's listening so intently to Han she's forgotten that it's even there. "Why do you egg him on then?" she finds herself asking.

The question catches him off guard and he's rubbing his hand at the back of his neck as he answers slowly, "That's complicated too, there's a lot more to the history than just what I've told you. It's Ben's story and I wouldn't have told you myself if I wasn't so concerned about you. I will tell you this though, He would never hurt you. He's done a lot of things in his life kid but Ben feels things with an intensity that other people often can't understand and he'd die before he put his hands on you."

"You can hurt a person in a lot of ways Han, you know that. You don't need to put your hands on them," she thinks back to the ugly words Plutt use to drape her in, the manipulation, the mental torture. But there's a truth to Han's words that she clings to. Ben isn't cruel, he's timid and lost.

Han acknowledges her words with a soft "Mmm," as he chews on a mouth full of burger. The silence gives her an opportunity to try a few of her own fries finding them deliciously crunchy and tinged with a faint unrecognizable flavor. "I won't lie, I'd rather you steered clear of him Rey," Han says as he swallows dabbing at the corner of his mouth with his napkin. "Ben's in for a rude awakening when they give him his honorable discharge. He won't take it well."

"But he's determined to go back," she responds quickly, confused but admittedly utterly in the dark to the proceedings within such a military body.

"With an injury like that, I'm surprised they've given him this long. I know a little more then he's letting on, I still have friends in some high places. Most guys get an honorable discharge from a broken leg. Ben went down in a chopper Rey. You remember when I rolled the Shelby?" When Rey nod, Han continues, "It was a mess right? My leg was fucked, I was in physio for almost a year. You saw how bad recoup was... Ben went down in a chopper. I don't even know how he survived it. Truth be told none of it makes sense, no one walks away from a crash like that. I don't even know what he was doing training that kid." Muttering something about a man named Snoke Han stops a moment and then levels her with a finger pointed in her direction, "Don't you tell him that either," he warns, "He's lucky he survived but he'd never pass the physical now. I've seen men get an honorable for a lot less. I'm not even convinced he should be allowed in a plane again with his head the way it is."

Rey wants to ask more about the accident, about the injuries Ben has sustained but she doesn't think it's her right to ask. Or maybe it isn't Han's right to tell. She thinks about the man she's been getting to know, the strength of his character and identity that he clings too which hinges so desperately on his career. "Are you worried…" she starts slowly, the words coming in the dawn of a frightening realization, "He's using his job as a crutch for his sobriety?"

"Bingo," Han affirms, "I don't want you anywhere near him if he slips."

"Shouldn't you want him surrounded by people who can help him?" Rey offers, hoping Han doesn't pick up on the edge of desperate fear that lines her thoughts.

Appraising her a moment Han lets out a soft wary sigh and sets his hands down on the table. His palms sit gently against the edge as he licks his lip clean of pickle juice. "I'm only going to tell you this once kid, and I need you to hear me loud and clear, you got that?" he nods in her direction once waiting for her confirmation, "You can't keep him sober, Ben has to do that on his own. I know you, I know your heart pretty damn well at this point and I'm telling you, if he slips and he might. Trying to keep him in the light will destroy you."

Emotions well up within her that are foreign and strange, there's a burning at the back of her throat and her eyes sting. She feels like she might start to cry again but she's not entirely sure she has any hydration left to leak. She wants to argue with him but part of her knows that he's not wrong. She can't quite figure out why she's so attached and invested in Ben Solo's life but the idea of him alone in the world doesn't settle well with her. "I'm an adult Han," she says, her voice shaking just a little, "I'm not that kid who you had to save from her drunk abusive Uncle."

"I know what you are kid," he keeps calling her kid and this time she feels an odd sort of resentment well up at the sound of it, "You're strong, you're bright and you have the world ahead of you."

"Ben does too," she presses, "It's just a different sort of broken."

"Maybe that's the draw, I don't know. I'd like to think Ben can rise above, that he's grown but he hasn't let us know him as an adult. I just know I'd never forgive myself if I let him hurt you in any way."

Han falls into a strained sort of quiet, picking away at his meal with the casual grace of a man who's had his fair share of messy burgers. Rey picks at her fries but hasn't touched the sandwich yet. She doesn't feel hungry, more hollow and deeply contemplative. She wars against herself knowing Han's simply being fatherly but at the same time flabbergasted he doesn't want his son to have the sort of friendship she can provide. There's ego in that though, she knows it, the idea that she can be so much to one human being. It's more a desire to be then the idea she can. Despite it all Han's warnings and the dark truth of Ben's life with so much left to understand the first thing she wants to do when she leaves is call him. Reach out and hear his voice. Maybe she'll even suggest they meet up soon, get coffee or take BB for a walk.

She's finally enjoying her burger when Colleen sweeps back with refills and a chipper flirtatious swagger. Han turns her down, he has to get back to work but he takes a water and the cheque. They talk about other things, Chewie's new found love of socks, BB's need to lay on top of Rey while she's trying to read in bed. It's like it always is between the two of them, as though the family drama never existed at all.

When the check is paid however and they're ascending the steps breaking out into the crisp October air Han turns to Rey and levels her with loving hazel eyes. In the light their color swirls in a blend of browns, greens and mottled blues. They're lighter then Ben's whose eyes always remind her of the color of rich scotch. After a moment Han pulls her into a hug. The act is not unexpected, they hug all the time, it's the fierceness of the embrace that throws her off. He presses her tight against his chest and breaths in the air around them. Taller than her by several inches she feels her body fold in under his warm embrace. It's the type of thing she craved as a child, this unwavering feeling of affection. When he pulls away Han looks almost sad, the smile ghosting his lips not quite reaching his eyes, "I love you kid," he tells her, hands pressed into her biceps as he gives them a light squeeze and then turns to leave, "We'll do dinner again and I'll behave next time, promise!'


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's story haunts her over the course of the next few days. It's hard to process the gravity in Han's words. The stark warning that presses a brand over the area where her budding affection for Ben lies. She wants to ask him so much but knows she doesn't have the right to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tired to make a [Moodboard](https://abeautifulbreakdown902.tumblr.com/post/615439611204927488/first-attempt-at-a-moodboard-reylo) haha I'm so bad at this!  
> 

Ben's story haunts her over the course of the next few days. It's hard to process the gravity in Han's words. The stark warning that presses a brand over the area where her budding affection for Ben lies. She wants to ask him so much but knows she doesn't have the right to.

Still their phone conversations continue, unhindered by the heavy truths that surround them. That threatens their peaceful bubble of friendship and… whatever is there between them. He's so easy to talk to it makes it hard not to reach out to him when she's tired or bored of just feels alone. His presence is a balm to a loneliness she never knew she harbored. She is always surrounded by people, never physically by herself but always on the edge of something that isn't quite hers.

Sure she has Finn and she has Poe but they have each other. She has no one to be that for and that never really bothered her until now. She isn't sure why either, she's been perfectly ok in her existence up until this point. She enjoys her time alone. She has friends, people who love her, a good job, a house, BB. She has a lot of things people her age don't have and that bolsters a pride within her that just can't quite graze the heavy feeling of being by herself. Ben, Ben is like coming up for air, he's the warm hand in hers when she's scared but not enough that she needs to be held. He's a firm hand at her back telling her she can do anything. He's broken and pieced together like she is. They have that in common, a need to prove themselves as something more than the sum of their broken parts. They never talk about that though.

She hasn't seen him in almost a month now and the reality of that causes something akin to a physical ache to blossom within her chest. And yet he doesn't push the fact, he doesn't ask her to meet him, doesn't make mention how badly he'd like to see her again. He just lets her talk and fills her mind with colorful imagery and joy.

Han has been ever-present as well, he even stopped in after work one day to whisk her off to supper at one of Leia's favorite restaurants. They don't talk about Ben anymore, it's strange and there's a guilt that accompanies the feeling like she's stolen something away from him that rightfully doesn't belong to her. This treasured affection she holds tightly against her heart should belong to him and yet she cannot for the life of it let it go. Han is his father and yet he hasn't made so much as an effort to contact Ben. Or has he? How would she know she's never really asked? She's complaisant in the silence as she steals away the affection that should belong to Ben.

They're sitting there in Bespin's Finest, a restaurant owned by Hans long time friend Lando Calrissian when Rey chances the question. She's ordered a water, dry November and all and Han is sipping casually on his third beer. It's a microbrew that Lando is trying out and he wants Han's opinion as to whether or not he should invest. Lando is always looking for the next greatest thing to sink his wealth and fortune into. No one talks about where the money comes from, it's just known that he's disturbingly well off and loves to have his hands in a little of everything.

Rey is picking away at her salad, a medley of fresh greens, orange slices, pecans, and raspberry vinaigrette. It's deliciously fresh, crisp and sweet all at the same time. Han of course ordered the steak and threatened Lando that it had better be done right. They were settling into a comfortable rhythm in conversation when Rey drops her fork against her plate and levels Han with an even stare. "Have you talked to Ben lately?" she chances and Han doesn't so much as blink.

He's got a mouth full of steak, chewing away on it happily when he swallows and grumbles a simple, "No," dabbing his mouth with the fancy cloth napkin before he asks, "Have you?" it's a challenge that's been issued and Rey refuses to back down.

"You know I have," she responds evenly and Han narrows his eyes at her.

"Do I?" he asks sounding far too casual before he starts in on his steak, hacking at it with his knife. The tender browned meat oozes in the center a delicious soft pink in color making it the right texture juicy and smooth. He's frustrated but it's only slightly obvious in the way that he stabs the meat with his fork before he takes it to his mouth. It stirs a riling fear in her that would only sever to hurt him so she steels herself and stares at him in a challenge issued.

"You a sucker for a pretty face?" Han asks ruefully, he's not as angry as she thought but the frustration is there just beneath the surface. Like a snake coiled for an attack.

Rey smirks as she crosses her arms against her chest, "I still hang out with you don't I?"

At that Han laughs, a good ole belly chuckle as he points his finger in her direction and quips, "Kid," at first he sounds mad but the gentle shaking of his shoulders belies his mirth as he says kindly, "What am I going to do with you?" and shakes his head.

She knows she shouldn't push it but there's this niggling sensation in the back of her mind that tells her it's ok. She's not doing anything wrong or untoward, she's simply looking out for the people she cares about. If not being a little nosy and underhanded in the process. "I think you should reach out to him," she encourages lightly before she starts picking away at her salad again. Rey makes an off-handed comment on the ripeness of the berries as if to tell Han the issue is over. She's said her piece, or rather all she felt was necessary and they fell back into pleasant conversation.

After dropping Han off at home she heads up the mountain to her own bed and a phone call she's been waiting all day to make. Setting into a simple routine Rey lets BB out and fires up the hot tub. She's texted Ben but there's been no reply, not a big deal, he has a life after all. She kills some time soaking, her mind awash with confident assurance as she toes the seat across from her. The water is warm and welcoming and she lingers a little longer then she should but she doesn't have to work the next day so there's no rush to accomplish anything tonight. Nothing aside from her usual late-night conversation with one Ben Solo.

When she feels thoroughly pruney Rey extracts herself from the water's surface and shuts the bubbling tub off. After checking her phone, still no word, Rey sets to cleaning up the deck making quick work of it in the chilly night air. She takes a shower, pops some popcorn and is settling in with a book when she chances a glance at her phone again. Her heartbeat thumps in anticipation and then plummets when she sees there's still no word from Ben. Odd, he's never taken this long to get back to her before. She isn't even sure what he could be doing, they don't go into heavy details about their lives keeping those sorts of points short and sweet.

She can't focus on her book, her mind is so wrapped up in the thought of him. Even the popcorn doesn't satisfy her, leaving the half-eaten bowl on the counter as she ascends her stairs up into her bedroom. BB is waiting patiently for her in her bed, a look of canine concern gracing his animated features.

"Hey buddy," she says to him softly, his tail thump thumping against the bed as he watches her move about the room. She's in and out, brushing her hair, applying lotion to her arms, finding the right blanket from her closet to wrap herself up in. It's all menial and time-consuming but still when she returns to her phone it's heart-wrenchingly empty. Maybe it's not working properly?

Sometimes her signal goes out. She turns it off and on again, still nothing. She's beginning to feel incredibly obsessive and a little (a lot) pathetic when she groans and turns off her lights before crawling into bed. Sleep comes fast and easy, it's surprising how tired you can be without realizing it. She doesn't dream that night, not really, not like she usually does. Her sleep is sound but when she wakes all she can feel is him. As though he had been walking through her dreams all evening. Frustration tears through her as she begins her morning routine. It's early, earlier then she usually gets up. The sun is still cresting the trees.

After grabbing a bowl of yogurt, granola and berries Rey does a bit of yoga in her living room. She lets BB out for his morning business and then decides they need to get out of the house. She doesn't know where she's going until she's on the road driving down the mountain into the Middle Rim and CoCo Valley. It's still barely morning, the clock on her dash reads 6:30 am. She can't remember the last time she's been up this early and it fills her with an odd sense of accomplishment. She follows the roads as best she can. It was getting dark when he took her this way and she hadn't thought to commit the trail to memory but soon she starts to see things she recognizes. The orchards and the Norton wide and winding along the edge of the Lovers. Soon the trees start to change, spindly pines and birch opening into tall sequoias, subtle at first until she's in a forest of thick trunks and flaking ochre bark.

BB shifts in the back, resting his head on his paws, lulled into a soft snooze by the gentle rocking of her vehicle's frame. She knows she's taken a wrong turn when the ground beneath her tires turns to hard gravel and dirt but after a while she's back among familiar sights. BB is alert after the momentary detour, standing on the counsel as Rey slows her speed and starts to look for the parking lot Ben had taken her too so many weeks ago. It takes her a little, the tall trees looming over her, mocking her poor sense of direction but after a little focus and pure dumb luck she recognizes the trail and pulls over.

The air is crisp and foggy as the sunlight washes through the trees inching over the land in low creeping rays. It's quiet but for the gentle roar of the falls beyond and BB is utterly elated when she opens her back door, letting him roam free. She doesn't bother with his leash, there's only one other vehicle here, an old Shelby series Mustang fancy, but aged. She only recognizes it because Han has a thing for them, he's restored a few at Falcon and use to own one himself until he totaled it. It's likely someone's pet project by the looks of the brilliant new red paint job and careful way it's been parked. It should be easy enough to avoid them. The pathways seem to spiderweb in different directions and the idea of adventuring strikes up a child-like enthusiasm deep within.

She thought the next time she came here would with Ben but that thought leaves a sour taste in her mouth and she pushes it deep ignoring the hollow feeling that settles in her gut. BB is barking after a squirrel drawing her attention back to the beauty around her. His paws are muddy already as he weaves his way in through trees ducking and sniffing, taking in everything at once. She decided it's best not to go down near the waterfalls today. Her furry companion isn't usually one for taking an autumn swim but she has seen him do stranger things and she doesn't have his good car blankets. Instead she chooses a path to the left, it quirks and winds through a series of trees before disappearing in a sharp turn. The idea of the unexpected is exciting, her feet picking up their pace as BB sniffs, wanders and then sniffs some more. His head is turning this way and that completely and totally overwhelmed.

The trees grew thicker, the sunlight dappled across the earthy ground as they walk further into the forest. The silence is thick, accented by trudging footsteps and a pig-like sniff that BB makes anytime he gets excited. She laughs to herself, shoving her hands in her pockets as she watches her canine friend more then she watches the trail ahead. He is ducking and weaving, his tail upright and alert as moves from tree to tree. The thick redwoods are breathtaking, old and wise as they watch over their quiet landscape. Their widespread branches providing a thick canopy of mottled greens mixed with the yellow and red leaves from their smaller companions.

She doesn't know how long she walks for or how far for that matter. Her steps are steady but waver anytime BB veers off the path. He is a huge fan of squirrels and loves to bark at them so the freedom to chase one up a tree or stand at the bottom and yell is hard to pass up. He doesn't venture far though, he never does. He sticks close to Ray as though attached by an invisible string that only extends a few meters from her person. He is trotting ahead happily when the trees break and light from ahead pours through in heavy waves. It's still foggy, the air thick and damp as they emerged from the tree line to stand before the grandeur of Norton Lake. It's a wide-spanning and glittering jewel sitting along lush green banks. Their trail leads close to the water winding along the lakeside following down into another thick patch of trees.

Rey almost considers turning around but BB's nose is active again, dragging him from scent to scent as he wanders into tall patches of grass and weaves through alder bushes. The sun is wondrous as it kisses her face, a cool breeze blowing off the water to toy with her hair. She's left it down, not something she's prone to do but it makes her feel wild and free as she tucks it behind her ear. The smile on her lips is nearly feral, the peace of her surroundings calling to her soul as she meanders and skips. BB has found a stick and drags it back, hauling with it the rest of a small tree and its root system. When he sets it at her feet proud of his accomplishment she scratches at his ears and praises his landscaping skills.

Trotting away his feet picking up speed, he's off like a rocket barking after something near the tree line ahead. Another squirrel Rey assumes and so doesn't react. She watches with a grin as he barrels ahead, his hind legs bouncing as he scrambles. He's not an aggressive dog, maybe a little over-exuberant in his desire for human lovies but he's as harmless as they come. It's why Rey isn't concerned when he takes off. She can see him sniffing around a bush, his head rising to scent the air before he's off again only this time Rey sees what he's after.

In the cool mist of the autumn morning air, the form of a person emerges from the woods. It's a tall figure with long legs wearing what looks to be all black. They're too far off to make out much more but BB is approaching them quickly from the side. His run has slowed to a gentle canter as he approaches the runner who appears to be blissfully unaware of their new companion. Worried about annoying the other person Rey pops both index fingers into her mouth and blows, a shrill whistling noise erupting into the air.

BB's head perks and he takes off in a gallop startling the runner from their steady stride. Rey feels bad like she should apologize but she also doesn't want to be a bother. The runner appears unfazed as they continue their brisk pace and BB returns panting and happy. Crouching down to nuzzle his soft face against her own Rey gives his head a good scratch, digging her fingers into the space behind his ear before they turn and start to walk back to the car.

They take their time, mindful of the person coming up behind them, hugging the side of the path in an attempt to be polite. Her feet carry her with less purpose now, heels scuffing at the ground as she allows herself to simply exist in the moment. To take it all in. She sighs into the air, her eyes closed a moment as she basks in the cool autumn air. Her faithful companion is a sniffing mess as he wanders through the trees off the path. He skips from one to the next marking as he makes his way.

Footsteps are coming closer now but Rey doesn't think anything of it until they slow and BB darts out from the woods trailing passed her. He doesn't bark, he doesn't growl but there's a soft keening whine that erupts from her pooch as she turns to see him laying on his side with his front paw in the air, belly exposed for rubs. "What are you…" she begins to ask when a pair of dark eyes effectively cut her off.

His shirt isn't black, but a dark grey material that looks like it's made to be worn while sweating. His hair hanging around his flushed face is damp from exertion. He has an earbud stuck in one ear while the other hangs loosely around his neck. A phone tucked into a band at his arm. "Rey…" his voice comes as a breathy whisper, confused but maybe surprised as well as he scratches at BB's now wet and exposed belly.

"H-Hey Ben," she says softly, almost shyly as he raises to his full height to approach her. He's glistening from his run, his chest rising and lowering in quick even pants as he tries to steady himself against the onslaught. "How are you?"

He makes a face as though contemplating the weight of her words as he says, "Good," it's awkward and strained and almost painful the way he looks at her, the way he keeps his distance. They may have been talking every night, last night excluded but this is a beast of an entirely different nature. The sunlight casts a halo of bright light against his crown of dark chestnut, as he approaches slowly, "You doing ok?"

She nods quickly as they fall into step side by side, a world of space between them as the walk. Ben looks like he wants to say something else but he keeps his mouth firmly shut as he steadies his breathing and carries along beside her, "You sure?" he presses lightly.

It's all Rey can do to smile. She wants to ask him what happened to him last night but realistically he doesn't owe her any sort of answer. Still, her heart aches to know the truth of it, or so she thinks. Maybe it's better to not know and accept that this filtration has run its course and it's no more than just an idle fascination leaned into by two lonely people.

For weeks they've been full of things to share, anecdotes, stories, useless facts that make the other laugh. Ben's voice has been bright and friendly and full of joy. But this man with her now, he looks different somehow, altered and almost still despite the graceful way his long body carries him. He's swinging his earbuds around his finger idly as his steps fall in ease pace with hers. Not an easy task with the not so subtle difference in their leg lengths. It's awkward and she hates it. She hates that it feels so strained and weird, that he's walking so far away from her. That it feels like he might be avoiding her for some reason.

The silence spills on as their steps carry them back towards their cars but it's painful and hateful until she simply can't take it anymore, "Did I… do something?" she asks quietly. Her voice is hushed and soft as she keeps her eyes trained on the trail ahead.

Her question startles him, he's looking at her but she's almost afraid to meet his eye. When she doesn't look in his direction, he too looks away but not before casting her a sidelong glance that may have been a little more personal then their casual distance implies, "Why would you think that?" he asks softly. The question met with a question irks her making her want to lash out.

Steading her breath the lets the question settle over her, she's the one who's put the distance between them. This weird dance they've been doing has been hers to lead this whole time. He's been nothing but a gentleman but maybe he's tiring of it. They've only been social twice now, once was an utter disaster but their constant communication has to hold some weight. Right?

"Just… a feeling," she offers him, watching the ground as she walks. The weight in her chest is a pressure she's not entirely familiar with. A sort of flustered feeling that flutters like the hushed beating of a bird's wings.

When Ben makes a noise that sounds like a strangled "Hmm," the silence that follows is deafening. He's worrying his hand trough his hair as he often does. She hasn't known him long and already she recognizes the familiarity in the action. It's endearing the way he fusses, using his long fingers to comb through the damp and sweaty hair gently. "No…" he finally says after a long moment of pause. It comes out like an afterthought, as though there's more to be said but he doesn't want to or doesn't know how to say it. Whatever it is.

These games are tiring, it's why she avoids dating. This peculiar draw to another human being is stifling and strange making her feel like less of a human being. Strange how something so innocuous can make you feel like less of a person while making you feel whole at the same time. "Right," she says, stuffing her hands in her pockets and shoring up her shoulders.

Birds chirp in the canopy overhead while squirrels chatter and BB, the great hunter takes chase. He's the only sound she can hear now, focusing on his footfalls as he muddles about in the brush. He's darting in and out until he's not. Rey becomes so focused on this new strained awkwardness with Ben that she doesn't notice at first, BB has never been one to wander far. A fact she sometimes takes for granted. A moment passes and then another and he still hasn't emerged from the woods. There's a soft growl and then a yelp and Rey's body prickles with cold sweat.

"Shit, BB?" She wheels around wide-eyed but Ben is already heading into the woods following the low hum of a dog's whine.

"It came from over here," he says as he steps over a downed log and winds around a particularly large redwood. The area is well manicured making it easy to maneuver but Ben's feet carrying him quickly and Rey has a hard time keeping up. When they find him, BB has a muzzle full of porcupine quills that extends down his shoulder and arm. He's whimpering as he paws at his face to no avail, the offending beast long up a tree.

Rey takes a sharp breath and groans, "Oh buddy, no no, don't do that," BB simply looks at her, sad brown eyes pleading for help, relief, love. He quickly falls forward rubbing his face into the dirty ground marring the white fur around his nose with ruddy earth. It does nothing to alleviate the discomfort and so he whines again. It's hard to see her best friend in such a state but Rey lowers herself to the ground, Ben at her side as she gingerly takes stock of the damage.

Ben's large hands pat the back of BB's head away from the painful affected area. He's heart warningly gentle, careful not to pull on the skin too much. His fingers work in slow circles behind BB's floppy soft ears calming the dog enough for Rey to make sure none of the quills landed close to his eyes or throat. His thick coat is a saving grace in this instant. While some quills have made their impact, there are a lot on the ground around them and less in the areas where his fur is the thickest, or maybe she simply can't see them as well.

When she goes to tentatively pull one out Ben's hand stills her. Its the first time he's touched her weeks and the sensation thrums through her like a sparking live wire. He's close to her now, she hadn't had time to register it, so focused on BB but she can smell him, the faint musk of body spray that mingles with the forest and fresh air. "We need to get him to a vet, you shouldn't try that on your own," he tells her.

Right, she should know better, this isn't BB's first run-in with a porcupine, the big lug

They move to stand and she's patting her leg encouraging BB to follow. The poor creature whines again as he goes to walk but the quills down his arm cause him pain. Rey makes a soft pained whimper herself, the idea that he hurts so is difficult to swallow. He's such a good dog.

There's no warning when Ben scoops him up. His arms wind around BB's hind legs and under his arms like he's carrying a big baby. It's awkward and Ben has to lean back some to keep the canine steady but he's strong and in the end it's what's more effective. They make it back to the parking area quickly, the Mustang and her Honda are still the only two vehicles in the lot. Of course Ben would drive an old GT but she can't think on the subject for long as she fishes for her keys and quickly unlocks her car door.

She expects Ben to place BB inside and leave them to their quill filled drama but once BB is in the car Ben pulls back, a hand on the door frame. "I'll sit in back with him to keep him calm so he doesn't dig at his the needles," he tells her as if it were the obvious choice.

Stunned, Rey nods sharply and they get into the car. She backs up quickly stopping only because Ben asks her too. He's darting out of the car quickly, rushing over to his own. She can't see what he's doing but there's a slam of a car door and the beeping of a lock and he's sliding in next to BB, buckling his seat belt, "Wanted to grab my wallet," he tells her. She chances a glance into the back seat, Ben has his body half curled around her pups. He's running his hand down the back of BB's neck in slow and easy stokes muttering words that sound like, 'it's ok, you're ok' and Rey's heart bleeds warmth and affection that she has a hard time schooling.

It's almost eight now so BB's vet's office should be open soon. It'll take them a bit to get back into more populated areas but the vet is in CoCo town in the Middle Rim so they won't have to worry about the morning commuters hurrying into Coruscant.

This was not how she imagined today was going to start.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can't do this Ben, I don't even know what this is," she says gingerly, expecting him to let her go.
> 
> He doesn't.

The trip to the vet is quick and as easy as can be expected. The quills perforated BB's muzzle at odd angles and hooked into his flesh making them difficult to extract. For being such a well-behaved canine, BB is an utterly horrible patient and Doctor Andor has to eventually sedate him in order to get the job done effectively. 

This is not his first run-in with a porcupine, at some point BB is going to need to learn that not all four-legged creatures are going to be his friend.

Rey stays only as long as it takes to put BB under and then she has to leave, it's hard to watch him like this and Cassian admits it's best for everyone if he's left to work. So instead she and Ben sit in an awkwardly strained silence with the resident felines, Kay and Tew to keep them company. Rey has never been a cat person per se. It's not that she doesn't like them, she just hasn't had a lot of exposure to them. Ben on the other hand looks visibly uncomfortable.

Tew, a fluffy black thing who purrs when you look at him is bumping against Rey's side as she strokes his head softly. It's oddly soothing, the way his little chest rumbles beneath her touch, his head turning into her hand as she scratches behind his ears. Kay, Tew's sister is a little more invasive in her search for attention. It's amusing to watch as the little white cat climbs onto Ben's lap and proceeds to gently paw at the side of his face. He's sitting with his arms and legs crossed, his posture closed off and imposing but Kay doesn't mind. She's climbing over him as though they've been friends forever, he just doesn't know it yet.

The cats are a nice break in their awkward existence. It doesn't hurt so much that Ben doesn't seem to walk to talk to her when Tew crawls onto her lap to curl up and purr. It's even a little funny to watch as Kay balances her front paws on Ben's crossed forearms so she can bump her head against his chin and cheek. Rey can't help the giggles that rumble in her chest like Tew's loud purring as she watches Ben struggle against the tiny white dictator. She tries to hide her grin behind her hand, she even shifts away from him but it's happening and she can't stop it. His response to the matter is a curious quirk of a brow as he turns a mildly unamused stare in her direction.

His eyes are intense, dark pools of starburst hazel when he looks at her causing her to school her features, "Sorry," Rey mutters softly as Kay slides her whiskered jaw across Ben's cheek again and then nuzzles herself under his chin. "Do you not like cats?" she asks quietly.

"I'm allergic actually," Ben tells her as he leans his head back trying to avoid the attention forced on him by the smaller creature. Still he makes no effort to actually move Kay off of him. Ben makes no sense to her at all. He's unhappy, he's allergic, and yet he lets the small white cat crawl all over him. As though he doesn't want to cause her any sort of discomfort. It's aggravating to feel like she knows him so well and yet doesn't know him at all.

"Oh Ben!" she cries as she reaches across to grasp Kay under the cat's front legs. Kay allows it easily as Rey deposits her on the bench beside her. Already Ben's chin is a red and blotchy mess with lines of red irritation lining his eyes. "Is it bad? Do you need something?"

Shaking his head Ben shifts his knee up to sit it on the bench, draping his arm over the back so that his body is partially facing her now, "I'll be fine," he tells her easily enough, "I have allergy meds in my car, I'll get it later."

Right his car, the Shelby with the hot red paint job. It's not what she would have expected from him at all. Too hard-lined and not sleek like his bike and the paint job is flashy too, not the dark monochromatic tones he tends to favor. She wonders if Ben realizes that his father has an affinity for those exact cars. Maybe they had worked on one together when Ben was younger and that's why owns one now. Questions erupt within her mind bottlenecking at her mouth as she stars at Ben, trying to figure him out. She hates that he's become so enigmatic overnight, she thought she knew him but maybe she never really knew him at all.

There are so many things she wants to say, she wants to ask but when she opens her mouth to finally speak all she can say is, "I… missed you last night." She hates the way the words sound in her mouth as they fall from her lips. The minute they're out she regrets it like she needs him like he owes her something like they're more than whatever this is between them.

Ben seems to struggle like he's unsure what he's supposed to say or do. His mouth moves soundlessly as he seeks the words to fit his intention. The silence is almost palpable, awkward, and cold, then suddenly filled with a heavy guitar riff and matching bass that Rey recognizes from some Eric Clapton song. She can't quite place the tune and Ben appears confused until he realizes it's his phone ringing from his pocket. Extracting the device he gives it a cursory glance, his nose scrunched in confusion. Rey, being nosy peeks as carefully as she can, recognizing the number at once. Her heart flutters in hopes that Ben is going to answer it but instead he moves to shove it back in his pocket.

"You should answer that," Rey hedges softly, her hands busy petting both cats in an attempt at drawing their attention away from Ben who's neck is now looking quite Red and itchy. When Ben shrugs she pushes, "Might be important?"

He stops to think about her words as he eyes her suspiciously and then, as if not entirely sure what he's doing he answers, "Hello?" His voice is stiff and sharp but he's made the first step. She knows this is difficult for him, her eyes eagerly encouraging him when he looks in her direction. He manages a small half-smile and then draws up to his full height moving to take the call closer to the doorway. His words fall hushed but she can still make them out. He's monosyllabic but he's talking and that's a good start. There's mention of Kessel's Run and Rey wonders if they're making plans to meet for lunch sometime as Ben grunts in approval of something and then the unthinkable happens. He laughs. Its not a full-blown laugh mind you, just a soft exhale of air that sounds like the tail end of a chuckle but it's there and he's dragging his fingers through his hair again. Dark eyes observe Rey, catching her while she's openly staring at him. There's a look there that seems affectionate, maybe questioning but it's warm and makes her cheeks flush. Just in time for Cassian to emerge from BB's exam room.

"Rey…" he says softly, his voice is sweet and smooth like warm caramel poured over ice-cream. He's a handsome and kind man, his smile soft and easy, his eyes dark and lined with wear. "Benjamin is doing well," Cassian has always called BB, Benjamin, he says it makes him sound refined and noble like a Bernese should be, "He's going to be out of it for a little while and you're going to want to keep an eye on him over the next few days but you can go in and be with him now."

Rey shifts out from Ben's attention and approaches the vet slowly allowing Tew enough time to register the lack of lap to curl up in. Cassian is holding the door for her as she nods to Ben so he knows where she's heading. She assumes he'll follow when he's off the phone or maybe he'd rather take his chances with the cats.

"I have to warn you, I had to shave his arm and a bit of his chest to get at some of the needles better, you'll want to make sure he's not digging at the skin it will be irritated for a bit and we both know how he likes to dig at things."

That was an understatement, "I still have his cone of shame," she assures him with a sad smile.

Cassian laughs, a rich, easy sound, his eyes trailing to Ben who's huddled by the door still on the phone. There's a moment where Rey's not sure whether or not he's going to ask the question she knows is on his mind but he seems to realize it's not his place and says instead, "I'll be back to check on him in a little bit."

As the door closes behind him leaving Rey alone in the room she sees BB is on the floor now and not on the exam table as he had been before. Easier to wake up there she's sure. His eyes are closed and his breathing is steady just like any other time he's been asleep but for some reason this is so much harder to endure. Maybe it's the sterile walls, maybe it's the vacant smell of the antiseptic and faint aroma of animal but this, this is so much worse. Cassian has him wrapped loosely in a blanket to keep him warm and he's shaved halfway across his chest and down one of his legs. It seems a pointless thing, he couldn't have shaved him with the quills still in but Rey can't bother to figure out the whys or the hows of this situation. All that matters is that BB is ok and soon they'll be heading home.

The floor is hard and cold beneath her knees as she crouches down at his side, her hands pressed into his sleek warm coat. She allows her palm a moment to draw a line from the top of his head down along to his hip in long affectionate motions. After a moment or two, she makes the decision to shift onto her side, laying with her chest pressed against his back so that she can wrap her arm around him. That's how Ben finds her, her eyes closed, tears slipping from the corners, silent and steady as she allows herself a moment to experience the emotion of it all. She's never loved anything in her life the way she loves this big, goofy, stunned creature and the reality of that is heavy against her chest.

When he enters the room, he's itching the back of his neck, his shoulder pressed into the door, not entirely paying attention as he says, "Did you…" his words cut off in his throat as his eyes settle upon her.

She can feel him move but she doesn't quite register his presence until he's sitting against the exam table behind her. His long legs are stretched out at her back as his hand reaches out to rest against her shoulder. He's hesitant and unsure as he asks, "You ok?" the words edged with a concern she's missed. It's all she can do to nod her head, her throat dry and sharp with emotion as his hand slips down against her back tracing idle circles over top of her sweater. It's a sign that he's there, without pushing her to accept him. A quiet acknowledgment of her need for quiet and comfort. Her breath comes in shaky and uneven waves as warm salty tears drip over her nose and cheeks to crash against the arm she's been using as a pillow.

They sit like that for some time, Ben's hand a solid warm presence at her back as they both refuse to break the silence. There are so many questions she wants to ask, the air is heavy with them. It's stifling the way they just sit in the air but she doesn't know how to have this conversation. She doesn't know how to ask about how his conversation with his father went, nor is she sure it's her place to ask. She wants to ask him where he was last night but that too is none of her business. There are so many things she wants to know, about his life, about his dreams, about his heart but they're all too private so instead, she lays with her cheek pressed against the top of BB's head.

When Cassian returns she manages to get to her feet. He goes over BB's simple care instructions and Rey is thankful for the conversation. It breaks the quiet and allows her to shake the strain our of her voice. It's not long after that that BB is awake and trying to stand up. His feet are uneasy and his legs shaky beneath him as he wobbles from side to side trying to wag his tail, trying to look happy. All he seems to manage instead is a confused sort of bump into Rey's legs but it's enough for her. He's ok. She's back on the ground again, her arms wound around him in a gentle hug as she strokes his head tenderly before they try to further test his footing. His steps are laborious and slow in a way that is heartbreaking to watch but Cassian encourages them to let BB walk around the parking lot a little before getting him in the car. Sedatives have a way of loosening their bowels and no one wants to deal with dog poop in the back of their car.

Once they're sure BB is ok, able to walk and thoroughly emptied she pays the bill and make their way to the car. Rey puts the seats down in the back so that her trunk is open and flat giving BB more space to lay down. They spread out the blanket which Cassian gave them and fluff a few older massage sheets around in a makeshift nest so that the groggy canine has a comfortable place to rest his head. That leaves Ben in the front with her as they drive back to the park and Ben's car. Their awkward meeting soon to come to a close as strangely as it started.

They make light small talk over the soft sound of 80's classic rock playing in the background. Skirting away from the topics Rey is desperate to talk about, neither of them comfortable with coming right out and saying what it is they want to stay. It's stunted and weird and suddenly he feels like a stranger.

The day ahead of them is turning out to be a beautiful one. The sun is rising high in the autumn sky, warm against the cool breeze that swirls in off the Norton. The November nip is fresh and sharp while the ground is coated in an array of brightly colored leaves. The orchards have been picked over, those apples left now on the ground ready to compost and feed the soil for the coming year. Rey doesn't worry about getting lost this time, traveling as though on autopilot while Ben talks about Hux and his new girlfriend. Apparently she'd become quite the presence in their (his) apartment but Hux is happy and that is enough to make Rey smile.

Until Ben asks, "How did you meet Armitage anyway? I don't think I've been told that story."

Rey almost chokes on her laugh as she sheepishly replies, "Uhhh, well…" it's not a story that gets told often unless Hux is in the mood to tease her. Even then he's careful when he brings it up, "I may have hit his car…" she says slowly, "With my car… you know that old black Volvo he use to drive?"

Ben says nothing, he merely turns so that he's facing her, his eye curiously wide and full of amusement. She wonders if he too is going to start teasing her about her driving skills but he remains oddly mute on the topic.

"In my defense," she tells him rather boldly, "He was driving like an asshole. I was backing out of a spot and he was driving far faster then he should have been. By all rights I should have had enough time to get out but I backed into him." Rey is gesturing with her hands while she drives, her palms beating against the steering wheel for added emphasis. "We exchanged information which apparently needed to be cell numbers too in case there were any issues. He later admitted that it was a ploy to ask me out but we both just laughed it off. I honestly thought he was gay before he started dating Rose."

Ben laughs and he laughs hard. Rey isn't sure what she's said that's so funny but she's glad to hear the sound of it. He's nearly breathless as he rests his head against the back of his seat and lets the loud chuckle roll through him. "You're the one who hit my Volvo?" he asks through fits of booming laughter.

The words take a moment to sink in and it's all she can do not to stop the car as she glances at him quickly, "Wait…" had she heard that correctly? "your Volvo?"

His laugh is loud and infectious, eyes watering so that he has to wipe the back of his knuckle against his cheek, "Y-Yeah," he groans with mirth, "He use to drive my car until he got that scion he drives now." still the rumbling sound continues and Rey can't help but feel a little foolish, "He told me it happened in a parking lot and he had no idea who hit him, the little weasel."

Rey's not sure if she should apologize or laugh with him so chooses instead to say nothing at all. A part of her wants to say she's sorry but it seems a moot point as Ben clearly finds the situation amusing. He's smiling the rest of the drive which Rey finds settles warmly in her belly as they pull into the parking lot where Ben has left his mustang.

The morning fog has lifted and the sun is bright and brilliant. There are still no other cars to be seen but something about the scene before them seems incredibly off. Ben's smile is gone in an instant, replaced by a look of pure shock and then visceral rage. Rey hasn't even turned her car off before he's bolting out the door, leaving it ajar as he runs to his vehicle. The tires are flat and his windows have been smashed in. There's glass on the ground around the poor Shelby and when Rey gets out she can see the culprits have even gone so far as to key the front passenger side door. Ben is beside himself, his hands groping through his hair as he walks in circles around the mustang. His shoes crunch against the glass strewn across the ground as he makes his way from side to side, looking in the broken windows to survey the damage to the inside. Luckily everything seems to be intact. The car, despite its outside appearance and the glass on the floor, is pristine inside. Rey wants to ask Ben if anything has been stolen but she's afraid to draw his attention. He's groaning as he hollers a few choice curse words making Rey's spine tingle with apprehension.

"Ben…" she says softly but he doesn't hear her. He's digging through his dash carefully, probably looking to make sure all of his paperwork is in order. The sudden guilt of the situation settles over her as she sinks back against her own vehicle. If he hadn't come with her to help BB his car wouldn't have been left behind and this never would have happened. She watches, trapped beneath the weight of wanting to help and having no idea what she can do that would be of any use. Ben is dragging his hand over his jaw, his posture agitated and predatory as he shakes his head and curses again. He seems to have forgotten she's even there as he does another circle around the car, his eyes wild and filled with anger.

When he stops, Rey finds her feet and moves to his side. She's not sure what she's doing but when she takes his hand in hers he jolts causing her to back up several feet. She hates that she probably looks like a frightened animal when he looks at her but his eyes soften some and he's suddenly drawing her into a tight hug. It could be an apology, it could be he just needs it himself but his chest feels warm as he draws her in, crushing her against him.

He holds her a moment and even this feels awkward as he presses his cheek against the top of her head. She can feel him as he tries to control his breathing, matching it to hers without intent. Slowly, he lets her go and turns away, his eyes back on the ruined image of his car.

The next logical step would be to get someone out to tow the vehicle and only one thought comes to mind. Rey disappears back to her car and grabs her phone, she's busy thumbing through her contacts when Ben asks, "Who are you calling?" his tone heavy and dark, not accusatory but still filled with an agitation she doesn't want to touch.

When she finds Finn's name in her contacts she hits dial and settles against the ringing, "A friend," she tells Ben as the phone chimes against her face. It rings and rings and then goes straight to voicemail. Right, he's at work, Poe would be too she's sure so it looks like she needs to call Falcon. The receptionist Daisy picks up on the second ring, her generic answer chirping into Rey's ear, "Falcon Industries, how may I direct your call?"

"Is Finn busy right now? It's Rey."

The receptionist makes a clicking noise, like her tongue banging off her teeth before she answers, "Uh, I think so, let me check." instead of putting Rey on hold, she hears Daisy cover the receiver with her hand and holler into the back. "Where's Finn?" There's a muffled sound of someone responding before Daisy says, "He's under a car right now, sorry."

Rey really doesn't want to do this, her eyes trailing over Ben as she weighs the merit of her decision but she can't think of any other options available to them, "Ok, can you put Han on?"

Daisy's response is quick and expected, "Mr. Solo is in a meeting right now, can I take a message?"

Rey growls irritation as she levels the receptionist with a cool, "Daisy…" making sure her tone is laced with a desperate edge of no bullshit, "I know Mr. Solo hates taking phone calls but I need to talk to him. Is he in the office?"

The receptionist huffs, "Yes,"

"Is he alone?" Rey asks patiently.

"… Yes," Is Daisy's reluctant reply.

"Put me through to him please or I'll call his personal number and tell him you didn't want to put me through."

"One moment please," is all Rey hears before Daisy is gone and the phone is ringing against her ear again.

Han picks up after one ring. It's obvious he hadn't been in a meeting, in all honesty, it sounds like he's just woken from a nap which is a very real possibility, "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Rey," she offers in a smooth chipper voice, "Can you send Andy out for a tow?"

"Yeah kid, you ok?" Han asks, she should have known this wouldn't go down without the fifth degree.

"Yeah, yeah good, just car trouble, nothing major."

Han makes a noise like he doesn't believe that but doesn't push the topic either, "Where you at?"

Looking around Rey see's a sign she's somehow missed before pinned against one of the tall sequoia's, "Freedom Park, Norton lake." she says hopefully, it's a little off the beaten path but she knows they've gone farther. Falcon caters to the entire middle rim and into Coruscant. She's even heard Han send trucks as far as Naboo on the other side of the mountains.

"Sure kid," Han responds easy enough, "You need anything or just the tow?"

"Just the tow," she assures him.

He grunts his acknowledgment, accenting it with a yawn, "I'll see you in a bit then I guess." and the call is over.

Ben looks like he wants to argue with her but she doesn't engage. Instead she moves around to the trunk where she opens the hatch and sits next to a still very groggy BB. He's lifting his head now which is a comfort, his tail wagging lazily as she settles in against the back bumper of her SUV. The vehicle shifts under her weight as she softly strokes the fur of his ears and he adjusts so that he's resting his nose against her hip. There's a contented huff and his eyes are closed again, resting off the day's dramatic encounter.

The mixed messages Ben is sending make her head spin and this odd stalemate they've settled into is infuriating. It's like being a teenager and having a crush on a boy but being too afraid to talk to him. At least she assumes that's what it's like. She was never really allowed those simple teenage dramas. It's hard to focus on feelings you might have for a boy when you're busy trying to hide the bruises from your Uncles last drunken rage. It's probably why she struggles so much now with knowing what to do around those of the opposite sex. She's had boyfriends or casual acquaintances at least. She doesn't lack the understanding of how attraction works, not on a physical level at least but the messy emotional side of it all is foreign and panic-inducing.

After a few moments the tail end of the vehicle shifts and Ben has joined them. He's perched so his rear end is sitting against her bumper, his feet stretched out in front of him to hold him in place. He's quiet and still, almost as though he's afraid to speak. The silence suffocates her, it reaches down her throat and crushes her windpipe stalling the emotions she isn't sure she's actually feeling. It's strange to feel so much and yet so little at the same time. Words escape her and she hates the way the air between them rings with indescribable tension.

"I.." she starts but isn't sure it's even her voice when she hears it. Since when did she sound so meek? "I'm sorry."

When she chances a look in his direction, he's watching her, his face drawn in a line of concern, "You didn't do anything," he tells her softly but the words don't make sense to her. She feels at fault, if not for this then for something, some unknown he hasn't shared but there's something. There has to be something, a reason for this weird shift between them that makes her feel like crying.

"I feel like I have," she admits softly, the words taste bitter on her tongue but Ben is looking at the sky and his face is washed in bright light. He doesn't look angry anymore, just tired, maybe warn in a way that makes his edges fray.

Still, he doesn't look at her, he doesn't speak but his demeanor shifts just a little. Again he looks like he wants to say something but he doesn't know how or maybe he can't. It's hard to tell with him and she's suddenly pissed off with herself that it's been this long since they've sat face to face. Is it her fault for holding him at arm's length? Is he tired of this? Does he think she's toying with him?

It's suddenly very hard to be around him, his presence is all-encompassing and he's everywhere around her. The smell of him, the sound of his laugh, the way his hand felt against her back, the fact that she shouldn't want any of this and the realization she doesn't want anything but.

She can't.

She _won't_.

She's out of the back of her car quicker then she can process but something is stopping her from moving further. Something holding her back, physically. His hand has found her wrist and it's pressed against her skin in a cuff of warmth. He's looking at the ground, not at her as he clings to her, his eyes unfocused and strange.

"I can't do this Ben, I don't even know what _this_ is," she says gingerly, expecting him to let her go.

He doesn't.

His hold merely tightens with the faintest of tugs as though he's trying to pull her to him. It isn't strong enough to move her though and she's tired of the games. This back and forth with no destination other than crazy. When he pulls on her wrist again, it's a little more insistent this time but Rey stands her ground. Turning to look at him she finds his eyes wide and bright, staring not just at her but into her. His skin is marred with red blotches from where Kay had been basking him in her attention but if he feels any discomfort he doesn't show it.

"What are we doing Ben?" his name sounds like a plea when it falls from her lips. A sound that makes her feel weak and ashamed but the way he's looking, there's something there that gives her pause. This is it, she has to ask, she has to say something but he's suddenly so close. He's standing over her, his fingers no longer looped around her wrist but tugging gently at hers, coaxing them apart. His palm is warm as he laces their fingers together and tugs her, this time with a gentle insistence she cannot ignore. "What…" she goes to say again but she's cut off as his lips descend upon hers. It's slow and petal-soft, the faintest press of skin against skin as he closes his eyes and drinks her in. He smells like sandalwood and whatever else makes a man smell good. Sweat but not the acrid stench of body order, more heady and soft. The kiss itself doesn't last long, a breath maybe two but it lingers in a way that a good kiss does. The electric kind that sets your nerves on fire and leaves you flushed and wanting more.

It's innocent and sweet but curious, as though he's repeating her question back to her physically. When their lips are no longer touching, the feel of him is still there, a memory of a light pressure against her skin as she breaths out a soft, "That wasn't an answer," and he laughs, breathy and sweet.

"This is all very confusing," he admits, and all she wants is for him to kiss her again. His mouth is wide and full and welcoming. A mouth made for kissing, pink and flushed from her touch.

It's like they're children pretending to be adults, trying to seem mature but utterly terrified of getting hurt or maybe misunderstanding the other's intent. It's beyond confusing, it's tiring and mind-numbing and heart-wrenchingly painful. She doesn't know how to feel these feelings and it makes her head a little squirrelly. She's bouncing off emotions that make no sense, on thoughts that suffocate while he rubs his thumb against the back of her hand softly holding her in place. "I like you," he confesses and suddenly she's fourteen years old and a boy has just confessed his feelings. The warmth of it spreads across her chest and up her neck, leaving her dizzy and giddy all at the same time. "There's a lot of complication around this though, my parents, my job, my… history"

"Mine," she offers softly.

He makes a noise of agreeance as he raises her hand to kiss the backs of her knuckles softly, "I don't even know if I'll be in the country next month. A few weeks ago that was all I wanted and now…" His eyes flicker to hers again, and she's falling into those deep pools of whiskey like a woman desperate for drink. When he speaks again, his voice is softer. His admission falls on a breathy sigh as he says, "Now, I want to know you. I want to know more than your favorite kind of cheesecake or why you're afraid of birds. I want to know so much that I feel selfish for keeping you to myself." His eyes are searching, looking for answers as he continues, "I want to know what makes you happy, I want to know what you're afraid of so I can protect you from it forever, I want to know what you simply cannot live without," There's a soft pause, his eyes edged with gentle searching, a hand raised so that his thumb grazes against her lower lip, "I want to know how you like to be kissed." He admits breathily, "I want to know so many other things I have no right knowing."

She's never been spoken to like this before and the heat in his words makes her flush with anticipation and need. Her cheeks pink and the blush rages down her neck and across her chest as he smiles shyly. It's no longer just a warmth but a blistering heat what erupts across her flesh, "I want you to feel safe with me," he confesses sadly, "But I don't want to open this door and then just up and leave either."

His confession is dizzying, filling her head with sweet words and promises she's always dreamt of hearing. He's so close she feels drunk on him, his thumb lingering against her lip dragging to the corner of her mouth. She isn't sure what to say, or how to express the feelings that are welling up within her. Her chest is tight and he's looking at her like he wants to devour her.

Words, she needs to say words, all of the words, sounds, and syllables falling mute on her tongue, and all she wants to do is feel those lips again. The softness of his touch is etched on her flesh burning her like a brand. She isn't sure who moves first but the space between them closes, she's on her tiptoes and he's learning forward. Their noses bump and they share an awkward laugh as Ben rocks his forehead against hers and says, "I want to kiss…" she doesn't need to hear anything else. Her lips find his as her arms wrap themselves around his neck. The angle is strained as she pulls him into her. It's warmer, more insistent this time. Lips faintly parted but pressed against the one another's. It's easy and smooth until it's not. She can feel his smile and she chases it, opening her mouth to draw her tongue along the seam of his mouth. There's a strangled groan that seems to come from Ben and it's one of the best things she's ever heard.

He draws her close as if any space between them is too much while his mouth moves softly against hers. They rock slightly, their height difference causing the angle to shift, and then he's tugging at her thighs as though he wants her up. Does he want her to jump?

She can't think straight, his lips are at the corner of her mouth and she hops a little as he tugs on her backside again. He has her hoisted against his legs as she hooks her knees against his hips and he moves her so she's pressed against the side of her car. His mouth is on her neck, his tongue dragging a line down the smooth column of flesh as he tastes her pulse point and nips at the underside of her ear.

His mouth is sinful and dear god he's good at this. She isn't sure how long they remain pressed together tasting and testing their limits. His hands are big and warm, the heat of them bleeding through her leggings as he holds her hips steady. There's something within her that's desperate to move, to shift her hips, to gain some modicum of friction but when his teeth graze her neck she stills. White-hot heat erupts through her vision and she just needs more of _that._

Her toes curl and she's groping at his neck, fingers lost in his hair as she pulls against him, her toes curling as his nose nuzzles against the sensitive spot just beneath her earlobe. It's easy to forget they're in public when he does that and her hips slide against him, knees gaining more purchase at his hips. The groan that rips through him then is almost feral as he sucks in a breath against her neck and the world shifts so that it's more than just Rey and Ben. It's also the vehicle that's driving down the road towards them and two men in the cab who are watching them with mild interest.

Ben is laughing softly against her neck as he drops her feet to the ground but still he keeps her pinned. His lips are pressing soft kisses to her temple and then her forehead and crown as he pulls away. There's a hand in her hair, the warmth of his palm cupping her cheek, and a silent promise of more. So much more.

As the truck ambles closer she can make out Finn in the passenger seat and a heavyset man with a bored face and glasses at the wheel. The new hire Andy she figures as one of Falcon's towing trucks pulls up to a stop before them.

Finn is out and serving the damage done to the mustang with a loud whistle of mock approval, "Who'd you piss off?" he asks as Andy moves the truck into place lowering the back so they can pull the broken beauty up onto the flatbed.

"Left the car here for a few hours and when we came back it was like this," she tells Finn calmly. He's giving her a look filled with mild accusation and curious inquiry as his eyes dart between her and Ben, "BB got into it with a porcupine, we had to get him to Doctor Andor, Ben helped." she explains.

It almost looks like Finn isn't going to believe her but as he approaches he catches sight of her canine friend in the back of her car. "Jesus," he mumbles as BB lifts his head, his tail patting against the trunk lightly in recognition of Finn's voice.

A soft smile plays at Rey's lips and Ben's fingers wind their way through hers, "He's still really groggy, I need to get him home."

Finn is nodding but his attention is back to the damaged mustang. Her scratched paint job a glaring offense to a car lover like him. "Such a sin, she's a what, '69?" Finn has his hands in the pockets of his grey work overalls. The arms are tied around his waist the way he usually has them when he's not working on or under a vehicle.

There's a light squeeze at her hand and Ben is pulling away. She shuts the back hatch as she watches Ben wander up to Finn in a strange sort male appraisal, "'67, but good call." Ben says as he cocks his head to the side, "She was a mess when I got her, I finally just got a new engine in her a few months back."

"What's she holding?" Finn asks with a casual glance in Ben's direction.

"Haven't had a chance to open her up yet but she's got a V-8 in her."

"Nice." Finn chuckles and Rey groans. Gear head talk has never been her thing. " Zero to sixty?"

Ben looks like a little kid when he grins, "six point five." Rey knows he's showing off a little and it's working.

"How'd you manage?" Finn asks with a lamenting groan

"Upgraded suspension, a lot of other modifications," Ben tells him easily enough, "I'd let you drive her but... maybe when she's fixed?"

It seems Finn understands which is good because Rey has no idea what they're talking about, "I think it should be purple," She says from her newfound position leaning against the hood of her own old beat-up Honda.

Both men stare at her as though she's just said something grievously offensive. At least they're bonding over their love of the Shelby. Andy on the other hand is busy hooking the poor creature up to the winch so that he can hoist her onto the truck. Ben and Finn share a few more enthusiastic words on the build of the car. Ben is more than happy to share the information while Finn takes it all in with the wonder and awe of a five-year-old at Christmas.

"Your Dad's gonna shit a brick when he sees this beauty," Finn says as Andy gets the mustang settled and strapped in. "He thought Rey was in some sort of trouble, that's why he sent me out here too. You guys just going to meet us there?" Finn seems oddly ok with Ben's presence which is a relief. She'd really like to get BB home but there's also the matter of Ben's car and the curious warm tingling she still feels dancing along her lips.

He's at her back as though summoned by her thoughts, his hand pressed into the arch of her spine. Finn has gotten back into Falcon's work truck but not without watching with a careful eye as Ben open's Rey's door. His fingers linger a little longer than before, his touch just a little firmer and his eyes… His eyes burn with an intent that threatens to scorch her apprehensions to the ground.

It's confusing but it's intoxicating and she can't wait until he's branding her with his lips again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know NOTHING about cars, so sorry if I flubbed anything up. They go vroom vroom also I chose the '67 Shelby at random then realized that was Eleanor from Gone in 60 Seconds haha oops.   
> As always let me know watch think and come say hellooooo on [the Twitter](https://twitter.com/ABeautifulBrea1)


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